Rekindling Love

Chapter 5

I let him accompany me to Hrishikesh. I could have denied, I could have asked him to go to wherever our home was. I could have just told him that I was independent and well in Hrishikesh . But I didn’t. I couldn’t for some reason.

I had become too used to him, may be my memories of hospital made me very comfortable to one person, and that the memories of Hrishikesh seemed very distant to me. I knew it was selfish on my part, to not let him go. To keep him stringing, even after knowing that I probably had nothing to offer him.

I couldn’t give him his wife, what if my memories never returned? I couldn’t keep him with me for unexplainable time with me, could I?

But for now, for now, I couldn’t bear to get away from him. May be once I reach the Ashram I’ll be better to get away from him. That may be I wouldn’t be as clingy. I hope,  I could let him go.

With him I didn’t feel awkward. With him, I didn’t feel like there was some part of me that was missing. His family tried really hard to make me feel good, to keep me loved, and entertained. But there seemed to be a barrier, in which they thought that they didn’t know me. That they didn’t know what to say or not.

But with him, there was no such barrier. It wasn’t like he didn’t know me, it wasn’t like he had to try to be normal with me. He could simply be himself and I knew I would trust him

When I asked him, “ Will you tell me anything I ask?”

“I promise to never lie to you. And at least give a reason when I withhold information” he promised. It was this sincerity I trusted.

I sometimes caught him looking at me quizzically after I said something, sometimes just amused to something he thought, sometimes when he stared at me longer than what was acceptable. I couldn’t be awkward with him. I found I didn’t mind that he was like that, like that was normal?

I was confused why was this happening? Why did I trust him as much as I did? Why did I didn’t find his actions doubtful. I never in my life trusted anyone beyond reason, why now?

But still, if I wasn’t with this guy, I found myself alone in the crowd. I found myself leaning into him at random times, as I were used to that action?

Confusion could be my middle name right now.

“Kartik?” I murmured to him

“Hmm?” he asked. Busy looking for something in his phone.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked

He looked up to gaze into my eyes, “You can ask me anything you want to. Always!” he smiled.

I smiled too, satisfied.

“What’s your favourite colour?” I asked. He looked amused. I know it was a kiddish question, but he seemed to know everything about me. Even the stuff which I didn’t? May be I had changed in past years.

“Blue” he answered. Well I literally could have guessed that. Given the fact that he wears one or another shade of blue everyday. I just rolled my eyes, like seriously?

“What’s your favourite food?” I asked

He gave me an amused look, “Kachori” he said with an unknown smile. I mostly could decipher his expressions.

“Who makes them?” guessing it was me. As he always reserved the best smiles for me.

“Nani” he smiled, and I inconspicuously pouted. It was his Nani. I was just stupid.

“Heyy. She makes the best kachoris ever. You love them too.” He said.

“I loved your Nani’s kachoris?” I know I love my Nani’s kachoris. His too?

He caught me, “Hey no stressing remember?” tucking away a strand which left it’s place.

I could only smile in response.

Kartik’s POV

I was trying my level best to keep myself away from the thoughts which said,
‘She is your wife’
‘How does she manage to look so beautiful’
‘Her lips have the most beautiful curve’

I really had my second mind saying,
‘She doesn’t know you.’
‘She doesn’t like you that way.’
‘She is not YOURS’

Whenever that happened, I had to shoo my mind away. I knew I was careless, that I stared a touch too often. That I got lost in her eyes, way too much, that I couldn’t help but recall her. But I had to control myself. I just couldn’t loose it.

Whenever she asked me questions, I wondered if I was giving away too much. But then, I finally realised, that I cannot deny everything and still expect her to be okay.

I told her that I wouldn’t lie to her. And if I was guessing it right, I really couldn’t. She usually sees right through me. She gets most my expressions. She knows what is through me, most of the time. How? I’ll never know. May be her special senses were different from her memories

Looking right into her eye, after her little, ‘Let me know you’ session. I said, “We are here”

I first brought her to the same place where we saw other the very first time. We had decided on just strolling for a while before going to meet everyone. She was unsure for some reason.

She went and stood exactly at the place where I was standing back then, spreading her arms wide, she breathed deeply. I wanted to go join her, but I stayed back, leaning on the rock.

“I always felt it right here. Like this was my area. Like I would find all the peace in the world here.” She said.

“Me too.” I replied to her. After all I found my peace here!

Authors notes

A bit tiny update. Trust me, it got deleted thrice. If there wasn’t a promise I did to many people that I will update today. This won’t be up. I really would have given up.

So you know what to do to keep up with rear updates😘😘 comment

Keep loving kaira shivin and yrkkh

Happy reading.