Jealousy || T.Holland ✓

1

Okay, so before we start:

The main character can be anyone you want since I don't think I used any names for her.

If I do use a name then you can just change it if you'd like, but this isn't mean to be an 'x reader'.

Also, I might go back and change things, this is a short story, and I'm still working on my cover.
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Jealousy is one of the worst emotions a person could feel. It shows that the person is afraid of losing someone to another person, envious over something they can't have, or has low self esteem.

That one emotion is what is preventing me from being happy.

I'm constantly jealous of any girl my boyfriend come into contact with -which is a lot. I have a famous boyfriend, I should be more understanding, but I can't help the way I feel when he comes into contact with any girl around our age.

Zendaya seemed the most threatening to me. She's perfect and I always ended up comparing myself to her.

It wasn't only me though, the rest of the world felt the need to compare us and in the end I always came out as second best, but Tom always told me that I shouldn't worry about her; she was just a friend.

But it wasn't just the media that tore me down, it was myself too. It was like I enjoyed hurting myself and I always found a way to be reminded that I will never deserve Tom or anything good in my life.

I guess I'm jealous, because I know he could do so much better than me. It always felt like he settled, because I was his broken best friend who he had slept with one night in order to make her feel better about herself. He couldn't leave me after that night, because he knew it would break me even more.

But, he doesn't like to admit that.

He constantly tells me how much he loves me and for a moment, I believed him.

I always thought he loved me, but when Spider-Man: Homecoming came out, Peter looked at Liz the same way Tom looked at me and it hurt. It hurt, not becuase it showed me that he doesn't love me, but because he's been lying to himself this entire time and he doesn't even know it.

Of course I love him deeply though, but I rarely let him know this. Why? Because I don't want him to feel obligated to stay with me, but he never seems to get the hint.

He's my world and no matter how much I don't want him to leave me, I know he has to, because he deserves more than just settling.

My insecurities, my jealousy, is the main reason for me flying out to L.A. and suprising him at his hotel room. At first I wasn't sure about my choices, but as I stood in front of his hotel room door, seeing the smile leave his face for a moment when he saw me and the laughter of Zendaya in the background, I knew I had made the right choice.

"Sweetheart, what're you doing here?" He spoke with disbelief laced in his voice as the corner of his lips curved into a small smile. His body moved forward as he shut the door behind him with a nervous expression.

"I just uh need to talk to you," my eyes focused on the door behind him, wondering what was happening when I wasn't there and what would've happened if I didn't interrupt.

Tom cleared his throat, bringing my attention back to him, "You didn't have to travel all this way to talk, darling." He gave me an uneasy laugh and I let out a heavy breath.

"I think we should break up," I stated, trying to cut to the chase, so that the tears didn't have a chance to come.

His eyes softened and a frown was evident on his lips, "Why?" His voice sounded like he was hurting and for a second I believed it, but then I remembered he was an actor.

"It really isn't working," I rushed as the tears began to form.

"For you?" Tom retorted, irritating evident in his tone. He looked over my facial features and groaned, "You can't do that. You can't cry. You're the one breaking up with me remember? Not the other way around!" His voice grew louder with every sentence that he spoke and each time I winced at the venom that were laced in his words.

It confused me on how angry he had gotten, because he never used to yell at me, but I guess the anger builds and the moment you don't have to worry about hurting that person anymore, you let it all go.

That's what Tom did that night. He yelled at me when I cried, but he was what caused it. He spoke words of truth and guess what, the truth hurts.

The thoughts I had for this almost year that we've been together all came out of his mouth. Every last insecurity was thrown at me in the middle of the hotel hallway, where I'm sure everyone around us could hear.

I took every last word though, allowing him to finish hurting me mentally, because I felt that I deserved it. I even waited until after he slammed the door in my face and muttered profanities under his breath as he realized Zendaya was still in the room.

As I sulked my way to the lobby, I noticed he hadn't kicked her out.

When he was angry, he always made me leave, because he wanted to be alone in order to think things over.

Why was she so different?