Fear [Niall Horan]

Dinner

[Back to Lexi POV]

Niall and I reach my front door and both stand awkwardly fiddling with our thumbs. I don't want it to be like this between us, he's a good guy and he saved me from being murdered but I don't understand why he won't let me get close to him. Oh well this is his last chance, I knock on the door as I didn't bother taking my key when I went to the shop. It takes mum a couple seconds to answer the door but when she does she doesn't look shocked to see us both.

"He found you then?"

"Yes. Thanks for giving away my secret place," I say with a somewhat sour look on my face.

"Don't be like that Lex, I was worried about you and I made her tell me," Niall added.

"Well now you're both back why don't you both come in and I'll cook you up a nice dinner."

"Would you like to stay for dinner Niall?" I turn asking him

"It'll be my pleasure," he replies with a cheeky smile.

Mum steps aside moving away from the door so we can come in. While she heads straight to the kitchen I gesture for Niall to follow me upstairs. I take the stairs two at a time until I reach the top and walk down the hall to my room with Niall close behind me.

"This is my room!"

"It's nice," he compliments as he steps inside closing the door behind him.

"Thanks," I smile taking a seat on my bed and patting the spot next to me so he sits.

Niall takes a seat next to me and although I can still feel the slight tension between us it's not as bad as what it was earlier when we were walking here. I cross my legs and lean back against my pillow while Niall sits with his legs hanging off the bed, both of us are silent but I can tell he wants to ask me something just by the look on his face.

"What?"

"What, what?"

"I know you want to say something so just say it," I encourage him

"Why'd you do it Lex? Why do you hurt yourself?"

I should have guessed that was coming!

"To take back control," I tell him. "When something drastic happens in my life that's out of my control, for example the way you went off at me the other night my mind just goes into this drastic train of thought and in a way it's my only way to control how I feel. It stops the psychological pain and replaces it with physical pain."

Niall lets out a long heartfelt sigh, I can tell what I just said to him had some effect emotionally on him but he asked so I told him. I'm not one to keep secrets.

"I wish you hadn't done it Lex, it's not the answer. There's other ways to deal with trapped emotion, but as for the part I played in it I am so sorry. You don't understand how sorry I am honestly."

"Its fine Ni, I forgave you and as long as you don't fuck up like that again then you will stay forgiven."

"Thank you, I promise I won't do anything like that again."

Niall seemed genuine when he apologised to me and I do believe that he doesn't want to treat me like that anymore, but as he's already done it once I can't 100 % believe him. I reach my arms out and sit up from my slouched position to give Niall a hug. He leans forward and pulls me tightly into his grip; just having his arms around me makes me stomach flutter and my mind go blank.

"Lexi, Niall foods ready," mum calls up the stairs

"I'll go you wait here," I tell Niall and make my way out of his grip and downstairs

When I get downstairs my mum just gives me a cheeky smile as I grab a couple forks to take up with our food.

"Behaving I hope," she smirks

"Oh god shut up, yes we are," I half laugh grabbing both plates and leave the kitchen before she can say anything else.

I carefully make my way upstairs carrying both plates balancing a fork on each, when I reach the bedroom I quickly hand Niall his plate which contains a larger portion of burger and chips then my own, I don't usually eat a lot but mum and I both know boys eat more than girls.

"Thank you," he smiles taking his plate.

 While we eat Niall and I don't talk much. I'm starving so I chow down on my food pretty quickly but amazingly Niall manages to finish he's larger portion at the same time I finish mine.

"That was the best burger I've ever tasted," Niall compliments making me laugh.

"I'll be sure to let my mum know."

I take Niall's plate and put it on top of mine before setting them on the floor out of our way. He then takes me by surprise by pulling me into his lap so my backs against his chest.

"Niall what are you doing?"

"I wanted a hug," he replies and I can feel him smiling against the back of my head. "I like hugging you."

"I like hugging you too, but the last time we were close things didn't end to well."

"I told you Lex that's not going to happen again, I promise."

I know he's told me he wouldn't do that to me again but I can't just forget about it that easily. It's going to take a while before I can trust him again with the intimacy side of things.

A/N; Hey could anyone who's reading this please let me know if you are still enjoying it as im unsure of my writing at the moment, thanks. Ps let me get to know you also comment your name and age and where you're from