Loca (Paul Lahote fanfic)

Heartbreak And Love

I hadn't seen Paul for weeks after what happened with his dad, I didn't blame him he needed time.
I suppose I just wanted to hear his voice so I knew that he was okay but he never answered my calls.
I was walking around the kitchen trying to find some food when a knock sounded at the door, I furrowed my brows we didn't get a lot of visitors unless it was Edward coming to pick up Bella or Jacob and Quil but they'd always call first plus the boys never knocked. When I opened the door I was not expecting to see Sam Uley waiting on the otherside.
"Becka I'm sorry if this isn't a good time." he said scratching the back of his neck. I shook my head and motioned for him to come inside.
"what can I do for you Sam?" I questioned turning to walk back into the kitchen. He followed behind me.
"I just wanted to thank you actually." he said, I stiffened suddenly shocked.
"what for?" I asked as I leant against the kitchen bench, crossing my arms over my chest.
"for your help with Paul's...situation"
I couldn't do much other than nod, I still wasn't comfortable with what I did I knew it was wrong but the whole situation wasn't normal.
"look, Becka I know that you know what we are and there's something Paul hasn't told you about yet and he's asked me to explain it to you." he opened his mouth to continue but I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"how is he?" I looked Sam in the eyes now searching them for any hint of a lie.
"he's rough but he'll get through it. He's bought a cabin for himself with the insurance money out on the res and he moved into it last week." he scratched the back of his neck again.
I found myself lost for words for the most part with this conversation, not because Sam was extremely awkward..which he was but because I just didn't know what else to say.
"can I see him?" I asked, holding my arms closer to my waist for comfort.
Sam nodded his head "yes but Becka, he wants you to know—" I shook my head and pushed myself off the bench.
"whatever he needs to say he can say it to me, I'm assuming from the lack of shirt you didn't drive here so get in the truck." I nodded towards the door and headed out before he could argue.

The drive to Paul's new house was quiet, except of course for when Sam was giving me directions. When we passed the remains of Paul's old house a shiver ran up my spine, I couldn't help but feel sick over what I had done..what Paul had done but it had worked. Charlie ruled it accidental, the pack used the stove to light the fire. I suddenly felt the guilt of lying to him about the fire, I had been suppressing it but I felt it come down on me suddenly like a tone of bricks. Sam cleared his throat bringing me out of my thoughts, I loosened the death grip I had on the steering wheel and threw a quick glance towards him.
"so I feel like I owe you an apology, I mean I didn't know why you were going after the boys but it kind of makes sense now. They'll turn soon won't they?" I looked towards the man again letting my gaze settle on his eyes.
"don't apologise for protecting your friends, Becka. I really admire you for it. But yes Jacob is expected to turn the late chief was his grandfather and his shoes are expected to be filled by Jacob-" I nodded taking in what he was saying "and as for Quil its in his blood, his father was a shifter also. Though he died trying to protect our people." I looked at him again.
"does Quil know this?" I suddenly felt awful for Quil. Sam only shook his head in response. I took a deep breath in suddenly worried for my friends knowing that they would have to endure this also, Jacob would adapt easily but Quil...his sensitivity may not work in his favour when it comes to being a wolf.
"make a left up here." Sam said pointing in the direction of a dirt road separating the trees.
I turned down the road and could vaguely make out a small timber house, when we reached the front Paul was already waiting for us beer in hand. I frowned at the sight of alcohol, he looked like a wreck there were deep purple bags under his eyes, his short hair was sticking up in areas, his face lined was stubble.
Sam left the truck first simply nodding at Paul and running off towards the woods, I exited the truck and walked towards him. He was staring at me the whole time like I was someone he really didn't want to see right now. I leant against the timber pole beside him and put my hands in the pocket of my red hoodie.
There was silence for a moment.
"nice bags—" I said motioning to his eyes "are they gucci?" he snorted in response and took a swig of his beer.
"is that all you got for me, Loca? I expected a better pay out than that." he moved to sit on the hammock behind me and I joined him. "yeah sorry I'm a little lost for words." I mumbled kicking my feet slightly as the hung off the ground.
"that's a first." he took another swig from the can he was holding. I shrugged and leant my back against the hammock.
I ran my hand through my hair, the silence bewteen us was deafening.
"nice place." I said looking around, he took another mouthful from the can and looked around also.
"yeah, it's nice I suppose." he shrugged.
"look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come over, I just wanted to see that you're okay." I stood suddenly, the awkward air between us made my heart sink.
He furrowed his brows shooting up from where he sat and grabbed my shoulders. He looked me in the eye and I swear I could feel his pain.
"I'm not okay, not until you turned up just five minutes ago." whilst I was flattered by his words the stench of alcohol on his breath made my nose scrunch up. He recoiled slightly and began to walk backwards towards the door "I'm sorry, I understand you not wanting to be around me." he opened the door and turned to go inside.
"Paul—" I ran in after him but he wasn't in the immediate area I heard the ting of a can hitting the floor further into the house and followed the sound. I entered a large room, dimly lit by the afternoon sun. To the left of me was a big wooden bed with all black bedding and side tables on either side each with a lamp, in front of me was a large wardrobe with boxes sitting in it. Paul was standing beside the window looking out into the woods. "Paul, of course I want to be with you. I wouldn't have come to check on you if I didn't." I walked towards him and he threw his arms up.
"Becka, I don't want you to want me! I'm dangerous you should be running, you shouldn't even be here." he ran his hand through his hair. My heart sank at his words and I took in a shaky breath.
"I trust you." there was longing in my voice and I suddenly didn't care if he knew how I felt about him, how I truly felt. I took another step forward.
"you shouldn't, you need to leave. I can't trust myself around you." he shook his head as his voice broke.
"yes, you can." I rushed over to him so that he was in the corner. "I'm not letting whatever this is, whatever we are go without a fight." I whispered.
He shook his head and inched back so his body was flush against the wall.
"I'm suppose to protect people but instead I killed my own father." I could see the tear drop from his eye and inched closer again wiping it away.
"you warned him, he didn't listen." I shushed him and shook my head "I've told you this isn't your fault, he should not have laid a single finger on you. I'm so sorry, Paul." I couldn't help myself as I engulfed him in a long embrace. His body was stiff at first until it sagged and he began to sob.
I lead him to the bed and lowered him onto the mattress, laying beside him. I wiped away each tear as I held him.
"I don't deserve this, Becka." he whispered through a sob, I shushed him again and bought my body closer I entertwined my legs with his and bought his head to rest on my chest.
"shut up, Paul. You deserve the world and more." I sighed.
His sobs grew small and he sniffed "did Sam tell you?" he asked suddenly moving into a sitting position.
I shook my head and looked up at him "I told him that if you had something to say you could tell me yourself." he nodded and took a deep breath in.
"we as in the pack, do this thing. It's called imprinting." he twiddled his thumbs before continuing "its like, when you meet your soulmate." he rested his head on the wall behind him looking up at the ceiling. "It's not like love at first sight, or anything cheesy like that. It's more like… gravity moves… suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend." he looked towards me when I took a sharp breath in, I smiled nervously at him.
"I don't know that's pretty cheesy, lahote." I let out a nervous giggle and looked at the black blanket underneath me. "have you—" I stopped to take another breath in "have you imprinted on someone?" I realised the breath and continued to look at the blanket as to avoid eye contact, I was afraid of the answer what if he hadn't? What if I wasn't the one? I felt a finger gently lift my chin and I was suddenly looking into Paul's eyes there was love and fear swirling around in them.
"yeah." he said his voice dropping low. He dipped his head slightly so that our lips were inches away from one another's. I looked at his full lips and then back to his eyes.
"who?" I asked breathlessly. The corners of his mouth ticked up a little before they crashed into my own. His soft lips parted slightly to whisper against my own.
"you." with that he grabbed the back of my neck bringing me further into the kiss. My body tingled with electricity, his tongue licked my bottom lip asking for entrance and I happily granted it. As his tongue moved smoothly over my own I let out a small groan and moved so that I was sitting on his lap my legs wrapped around his waist. He growled slightly and positioned me so that he was cupping my butt his hand still firmly grasping the back of my neck. I rushed my hands through his hair, wanting to envelope myself in his taste and scent he smelt of fire and pine. He nipped at my lower lip playfully causing me to giggle, I felt his smile against my own. He pulled away and chuckled at my noise of protest "I love you, Loca." he said suddenly moving a strand of my hair behind my ear "I don't care if it's to soon to say it, or if you don't feel it yet but I do." he looked into my eyes and my heart skipped a beat.
We were far from perfect I knew that, we were both hot headed and sarcastic, we both have secrets, paul occasionally turns into a wolf but with all that in the mix there was also the good the very very good. We just worked, it was the perfect match our demons mixed, along with our personalities. I thought about Paul and the way he made me feel, I thought about my favourite aspects of him, I thought about my favourite features and suddenly it hit me I was totally deeply in love with Paul Lahote.

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(WOOP THERE IT IS HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED IT!!)