Leave a Trace: Book Three

Chapter Two: Wanting Water

Chapter Two: Wanting Water

I watch as Alice flips around and around the bars, performing her routine perfectly and sticking the landing.

"How was that?" Alice asks.

After the pumpkin carving at my Mom's house, I asked Alice if she wanted to go to the gym for a while.

She didn't know why I was asking but she agreed because she's a gymnast and the gym is a drug.

Obviously Tristian was a real asshole about it but when is he not an asshole?

Alice had a hard childhood and I feel for her, but she needs to see that what's happening isn't right.

"That was good." I say quietly.

"Why are you acting so weird tonight?" She walks over to me. "That was amazing, why are you not excited?"

I'm going to do it. I'm going to rip the bandaid off.

"Have I ever told you about Lucas Black?" I ask, even though I know the answer.

She frowns. "No. Who's that?"

"My ex boyfriend."

Her eyes study mine and I think she realizes how serious I am because she takes a sip of her water and sits down on the mat. I plop down into the pit and she falls next to me.

"When did you date him?" She asks quietly.

"I was fourteen." I say. "I loved him more than anything, but he didn't love me. He tried to get me to have sex with him. He tried to get me to do anything sexual. He was an asshole, Alice. He was a dick. He made me quit gymnastics. I didn't drink any back then and I didn't want to have sex because it could ruin my career as a gymnast. Well he got me to quit gymnastics and that night I agreed to go to a party with him. Finn and Vanessa, they were there. Lucas drugged me. I was fifteen then."

"What?" Alice sits up now.

"He was going to rape me, Alice." I look at her. She puts her hand over her mouth. "He would have raped me, but Vanessa saw me and she and Finn...they beat the shit out of him. Everyone, everyone was telling me to break up with him. Parents, friends of my parents, my brothers, my aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents..." I trail off. "But I was stubborn and I wouldn't listen. I almost got raped because of it. He was controlling and verbally abusive. And so after I woke up I didn't believe them. I was sick for a week. I was out of gymnastics. He started spreading nudes I had sent them. I sent them because he told me if I didn't send any, he would leave me. I was young and vulnerable, so I sent them. He spread them around the school. I was bullied so bad, Alice. So bad. I started cutting myself." I pull my sleeve down to revel the pale scars on my left shoulder. Her eyes well with tears and she reaches out, brushing her fingers over them. My eyes well with tears too. "I had a bad day at school and Vanessa was the only one that knew I was cutting. She knew it would be a bad night for me so she slept over. I took a bath that night and cut so deep that I nicked an artery. I woke up in rehab, which is how I met Emma. I came out of it. I lived, and Zane saved me. I was never the same after Lucas, but when I met Zane, he lifted me up. He restored me and now I'm happier than I've ever been."

"Why are you telling me this?" She whispers.

"Sweetheart, I think you know exactly why I'm telling you this." I whisper. "I'm not telling you this for sympathy. Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you to break up with Tristian. I know from experience that pushing you won't get you to do what's right, but everyone telling you to leave him...they love you. I love you. We all love you, and Tristian? He doesn't love you. You need somebody who is going to love you unconditionally for you, for every weird thing you do. You need somebody who is going to stand with you at the Olympics and be there if you fall, or support you if you drop out of the Olympics. You need somebody who is going to wipe your tears and catch you before you fall into the deep end. When I look into yours eyes Alessandra, when I look into Tristian's eyes...I see Lucas. When I look into your eyes, I see me, at fifteen years old. Alice, sweetie, you have so much potential." I wipe a tear that rolls down my cheek. "And I don't want you to go down the path that I did. You have been through so much at your age. After everything with Alicia, you can't let somebody like Tristian pull you from your happiness."