The Sound Of My Vendetta (A Killjoy Stori/Fanfiction)

The End

I helped her sit straight up against the rocky wall again. I could tell she was in pain from the way she grimaced with every little movement. She didn't try to explain all that had happened. She didn't elaborate on 'beatings'. Part of me wanted to ride straight up to BL/Ind and take Korse out, but I knew I'd never get away with it.
"Why didn't they just Draculoidize you?" I asked her.
"I don't know. She wouldn't let them," Sonik replied. I held out my water bottle to her and she took small sips. She held it back to me, and I shook my head, wanting her to keep it.
"Go ahead. We can go back and get more," I reminded her. The hideout was not far from here, but it was not far from where I knew Sonik was headed either. Even though I knew the answer, I decided to ask her anyway. "Where do you intend to go?"
She looked up at me, but did not answer right way. Her silence was answer enough. She was going outside the zones. She'd mentioned before how she'd wondered what was out there. She closed her eyes and sighed.
"I was going to go Home."
The look in her eyes told me the truth. She knew she wouldn't make it out there. It was suicide. And she was going to risk it anyway. I wanted to protest, but I couldn't think of anything to say to her.
"They're using me," she croaked, frowning at the sand. She reached out a hand and began sifting the sand through her fingers. "They're using me to get to you. They want you to come and get me so they can destroy you and make an example of you. That's why they always chase me out here. That's why I told you to run." I didn't know what to say to her explanation. She smiled up at me, still twiddling with the sand.
"So what? You're just going to keep running? Forever?" I whispered, horrified at the thought.
"It's the only way to end this," she replied. Her face remained expressionless, but I knew she wasn't happy about it. She smiled weakly at me again. "Better to die than Keep Smiling," she muttered.
We both chuckled at that. Her laugh turned into a cough, and we both fell silent. She began talking out of the blue. She was staring at the ground again, and it was as if she could not control the amount of words that spilled from her at any given moment.
"I met this woman in the desert," she stated, "she told me that you and I knew each other long ago and that we used to be friends. Before the apocalypse. I told her she was crazy, and she laughed. She said she could have told me that. She wasn't human. For a while, I thought I was imagining her, y'know, a trick of the sun and the heat. What is that called, a mirage? Anyway she told me a lot of things and then she disappeared into thin air. She told me about Home. She told me how to get there. So I'm going.."
Sonik trailed off, mumbling to herself now more than speaking to me. I sat in silence, listening. I had missed the sound of her voice. Her eyes drifted shut and her muttering quieted, but did not stop. She mumbled incoherently as her head rolled to one side and hung. I smiled slightly, picked her up and carried her over to the toppled-over motorcycle, kicking the helmet toward the bike as I went.
Having spent the year carrying around The Girl, Sonik was no trouble. She was just about as light, which worried me. I balanced her on one side and picked up the motorcycle. Swinging one leg over the bike, I sat her on my lap and rested her on my chest. I grabbed the helmet and gently put it on Sonik, then wrapped my arms around her and held onto the handlebars as I started the bike.
I rode back to the hideout and turned off the motorcycle. I removed the helmet and rested it on the handlebars. Holding Sonik in both arms, I very carefully stepped off the motorcycle and carried her into the caves. Sonik shifted in my arms, turning towards me. She mumbled a little.
"Look who I found," I declared quietly as I entered the hideout. I placed her down on one of the makeshift beds we'd figured out over the last year. I brushed her hair back and smiled as she slept. The Girl ran up and stared at her. She wasn't old enough to form a lot of words yet, but she knew how to ask. She pointed at Sonik and tilted her head.
"Sonik! She's alive?" Fun Ghoul exclaimed, scooting across the thin sand over to where Sonik laid. Jet got up and approached as well, but Kobra was the first over, following directly behind The Girl and crouching next to Sonik.
"She's skin and bones," he muttered. The Girl stomped her feet. She hadn't been answered.
"This is a very important friend," I answered her, sitting down, picking her up, and placing her in my lap, "She helped us get away from the bad men who wanted to hurt us." Jet frowned at me and I grinned.
"Is she alright?" Jet asked.
"Dehydrated, I think," I replied, glancing up at him and then back down at Sonik, "She escaped from BL/Ind and ran all the way out here, from there. She just passed out. She was trying not to."
"Smart. If you fall asleep in the desert, you die," Jet sighed, stepping over to where we kept the water. He poured some into a small cup and poured it on her face. Sonik was awake instantly. She gasped and coughed, sitting up as the water trickled down her face like tears. She looked up at Jet and smiled a small smile. Kobra sighed in relief. Fun Ghoul knelt down next to Sonik and hugged her. She coughed more, pushing him off as she did so.
"Dry," she managed through her coughing. She was right. She was more wheezing than breathing, and her coughs were dry as the desert outside. It was like she had begun drying up from the inside out. Jet Star brought her another cup and held it out to her. She took the cup, mouthing 'thanks' and drank it down in one take, sending her into yet another coughing fit.
"Slow down," Kobra advised, "You're body's not used to water yet." He smiled a worried, but still amused smile. Sonik set the cup down and took a slow, deep breath.
"I can think more clearly now.." she mumbled. Jet took the cup and retrieved her more water. She nodded another thanks, but did not drink right away. "I saw the Pheonix Witch."
We all gasped as she took a small drink of the water. Kobra, Jet, and I all exchanged glances. We'd stopped believing in those stories long ago.
"She's real?" Ghoul exclaimed. He was the youngest of the Killjoys, excluding The Girl. He plopped down next to her and waited for her to tell him expectantly. She took a sip of water and smiled a tight lipped smile at him.
"She's elusive. And you don't want to find her.. She's weird," Sonik laughed, "She is helpful, though, now that I think of it.."
"How?" Kobra asked.
"She reminded me where Home is..and now I have to go find it," she whispered, "It won't be complete without you guys, but it will be close enough.."
I frowned. The Girl wiggled out of my lap and tackled Sonik. For the first time since she woke up, Sonik acknowledged The Girl. The child had wrapped her arms around Sonik's neck and Sonik returned the hug. I knew she was happy we had taken care of her so well.
"So you're just going to go?" I muttered. I didn't want to lose her again. Once The Girl had let go, Sonik struggled to sit up. She took some more sips of the water and then set the cup down.
"If I don't go now, BL/Ind will find this hideout and everything will end here. I cannot let that happen. The only way they'll stop chasing me is if they can't anymore.." She attempted to stand. I jumped up to help her steady herself. A flash of anger crossed my mind. They were using her to catch us. That was unfair.
"Or if I turn myself in," I suggested. She snapped to attention and slapped me across the face.
"Don't you dare!" she growled, glaring at me. She bent down and picked up the cup of water. The Girl was ineffectually punching Sonik's leg for slapping me. I felt my face, not so much in shock, but rather as a natural reaction.
This was between me and Sonik, and everyone knew it. She and I continued to glare at each other as the other three Killjoys exchanged glances and walked away. Fun Ghoul picked up The Girl and carried her away with him, despite her shrill protests.
Sonik frowned at me, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. "This is all I can do."
We decided that she would stay until the was in a more fit condition to travel. I knew that would be at least two days. I was looking forward to having her around again. I'd missed her. She spoke of her plan to go Home, wherever that was. She said that it was beyond where anyone would find her. Obviously, that was outside the zones.
There was a rumor that BL/Ind had put motion sensors in the ground at the end of the sixth zone. Whenever something or someone passed over the sensor, a gate would shoot up from the sand behind them, locking out whoever had passed outside the last zone. She told me the Pheonix Witch had told her the truth of that rumor and that she didn't intend to make it back anyway. She fell asleep before I did. I was up hours after her, paranoid about her being locked outside.
When I woke up the next morning, she was gone. Should have seen that one coming, honestly. She left a note in messy handwriting that said the following:
"Dear Party, Jet, Kobra, and Fun,
"Take care of The Girl. You've done well so far, she's gorgeous and she's going to grow up to be so much. I couldn't risk yours or her safety to regain health. Better Living Industries does not sleep, and I don't have time to stay around. In case you're worried, I did sleep, but got up with the sun. I'll probably never see you again. Any of you. Don't let them take you alive. I'm sorry. Goodbye.
"Sonik Soundwave"
I read the letter before others were even awake. I trotted over to the opening of the cave and looked up at the sun. She's left maybe an hour ago. She couldn't have gotten far. Her tracks led off towards the edge of the zones. I hastily stuffed a bag full of washed out and filled water bottles. They probably wouldn't last long out there, but they would help for a little while.
I slung the bag over my shoulder and grabbed the helmet for Kobra's bike. I tugged the helmet onto my head and climbed onto the motorcycle. It took a moment to start after yesterday's fall. I heard shuffling inside the cave as the engine came to life, but I didn't wait around to see who it was. I sped off to look for Sonik.
I glanced down at her footprints in the sand, using them as a guide to her. Within five minutes, I saw her. She was about twenty feet from the signs that mark the end of the zone. She was walking, not running. When she heard me, she turned around and watched my approach, but never stopped moving.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I snapped at her as I caught up. I pulled the bike up in front of her and raised the visor. She gave me a look and I knew she hadn't heard my muffled question. I pulled off the helmet and shut the bike off. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I repeated.
"I left a note," she choked. She had been crying. I could see where the tearstains had washed trails in the dirt on her face.
"Sonik," I began. I couldn't finish what I wanted to say. She smiled.
"Don't worry about it.... I didn't write it in the note, but you should know anyway since I won't be back. I love you, Party Poison," she said softly. She glanced down at her feet for a moment and then back up at me, probably gauging my reaction. She bit her lip and sighed, "And my name is Nellie. Nellie Arké, but I'm sure you knew that."
I set the bag down in the sand and stared at her. She was only a little shorter than me. I pulled her into a hug. She hugged back tight and I could feel her shuddering breaths. I pulled out of the hug and then leaned forward to kiss her.
She kissed back, wrapping her arms around my neck as she'd done the first time. Part of me wished we could go back to that moment so I could redo everything, so it could turn out differently. But we both knew that couldn't happen. She pulled herself closer to me, and I pulled away, breaking the kiss.
"Do you know?" I asked her. She gave me a confused look, almost asking what. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I didn't want to say it, but I--"
"Then don't," she said, interrupting me. I stared back in puzzlement for a moment, so she explained. "You never said it before because you didn't want to admit to yourself that you were vulnerable to that kind of pain again. I get it. Well, you're not. I won't be here anymore, but you never said it, so you who's to say you ever loved me. It can't hurt you if you never loved me."
"But I do. So it will."
"Don't let it." She tip-toed and kissed me again, though much shorter this time.
"Since you can't tell anyone now that you've decided to go," I whispered to her, "My name is Gerard. I'm Gerard Way. It's nice to meet you, Nellie." I snickered slightly. She gaped at me momentarily.
"Gerard and Mikey," she muttered, "You lived two houses down from me before the apocalypse. We used to play together when there was a park. The Pheonix Witch was right..I did know you." She smiled with a small scoff. "So I'll see you at Home, in the end."
I frowned. I didn't remember her. It must have been the Galactic Fallout Mikey and I were exposed to when we got out of the shelter. Memory loss was the most common symptom. I hugged her. I didn't know what Home was, but I didn't want her to go.
"What is Home? Can't I go with you?"
"No," She stated simply, "The Girl needs you. We'll all be Home in the end, and this will be a bad dream. That's all. People wake up from bad dreams. That's how it works," she said. She sounded like a mad woman, but I could tell she was right. "Take care of The Girl, and she'll save Bat City, I promise."
"I'll watch out for her, just like I said I would," I told her, picking up the back pack full of water bottles and holding it out to her. "Water. Not sure you'll find much of it out there, this will last you a day at least if you ration it wisely."
She smiled meekly and took the bag, knowing I would never allow her to refuse it. She put it over her shoulders and put her hands on her hips.
"I guess this is goodbye," I muttered, frowning at the ground. She smiled at me and leaned over to catch my gaze.
"Never goodbye," she said, straightening. She hugged me around my neck and whispered in my ear, "I'll see you later." She kissed my cheek and then let go. She stepped around me and continued towards the end of the zone.
I watched in silence as she passed the warning signs and continued straight out into the unknown. Metal bars shot up from the sand, separating us. Instinctively, I took a step forward to try and reach for her. She only stood there, staring back at the bars. Her gaze fell from them to me. For a moment we stood there, looking at each other through the bars, then she smiled, waved, and turned her back to me, walking away.
I closed my eyes and sighed. That was the last time I ever saw her. And I'll say it now, I loved her.
I found her journal in the diner since we've moved back and I thought the story needed to be told, so there it is. One more thing before I finish. Something that struck me as odd when it happened, but now seems so fitting:
When Sonik was asleep in the hideout, she kept muttering, "I can hear the music, Owen." I knew from earlier stories that Owen was her brother and his last words were particularly moving. "I can hear the music, Owen," she'd whispered.
I can hear the music too, Nellie, and it's beautiful.
The music keeps me going, so I think I'll write a song and keep running.