During my uncle’s physical exam, his doctor mentioned that he was slightly overweight. “Do you get any exercise?” the physician asked.
“Well, I used to have an exercise bike in the TV room,” my uncle began.
“Used to!” the doctor said. “Where is it now?”
“I had to store it in the basement,” my uncle confessed, “because it got in the way of my snack trays.”
Group of Alaskan housewives had gotten together for morning coffee and, since several of us were pregnant, the talk drifted to babies and doctors.
One of the women announced that she was now going to a woman doctor. "At least," she said, "I’ll be able to depend on my doctor being around during moose season!"
Carol was pregnant with her first child, and her husband was about to leave on a two-week business trip. When Carol went to her doctor appointment, she had some questions.
"My husband wants me to ask you something—" Carol began.
The doctor interrupted her. "I get asked that question all the time," he said in a reassuring tone. "Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."
"No, that’s not it!" an embarrassed Carol confessed. "My husband wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."
During the year that my husband, Bob, was undergoing expensive dental reconstruction, he got to know everyone in the dentist’s office. When a couple of staffers teased him about his garbled speech after he got a mouth-numbing anesthetic, Bob replied, "Well, it’s hard to talk with $3,000 in your mouth."
Last New Year’s Eve found me in the hospital scheduled for an operation to remove hemorrhoids. So while others donned party hats and sipped champagne, I wore a hospital gown and swigged painkillers. That’s not to say the holiday spirit was completely absent.
The next day, January 1, I woke up to a banner on my bedroom wall. It screamed "Happy New Rear!"
I’m never very comfortable with any kind of physical test or procedure, but when I was referred to a doctor for a breast exam, I agreed to see him. I don’t know the doctor, and he doesn’t know me, I told myself. It is no big deal.
On the day of the appointment, I was a little nervous. But the exam went smoothly, and I breathed a sigh of relief when the doctor told me he was finished.
Just as I was about to step out of the office, however, his voice stopped me in my tracks. "By the way," said the doctor, "I really enjoyed your performance at the symphony concert last week!"
