The Strength Of the Heart

Looking Back - 4

Sometimes I wonder whether it would have been better if I had never met her. On some days, she'd give me the best feeling of my life. All warm and fuzzy like nothing in the world was wrong. But lately, it was like her every action cut into my heart. Just seeing her at school talking to other guys, laughing with them, so carefree, broke me in ways I can't even explain. She made me feel like I'd found a constant in the world, someone I could turn to.

All things must come to an end, I guess.

It was our first debate club, "session", as a forced group and you could tell no one wanted to be there. As soon as you walked into room, all you saw was rolling eyes and falling heads. You could barely go a minute without hearing someone sighing. It sounded like a sarcastic symphony. It was hard to breathe and the room smelled like sweat because I guess no one had the resolve get up and open the windows. One thing I hadn't considered was that there would be people from other years, in the class. I mean, I had thought it was just gonna be the five of us. Which, now that I think about it, I can see wouldn't be very practical. The worst part was, it seemed like our very presence was bothering the normal debate club members. There was a group of the ten normal members sitting in the front and the fourth years, (excluding me) were sitting behind them. The loudest of the sighing was coming from the normal members, and those in the forms below us, (who clearly hadn't grown up enough yet), were giving the new fourth years looks of disgust and sticking their tongues out at them. It was just typical that I was put into one the only groups that did not have fourth years to begin with.

But, nothing could be done about it. So in the most, "I'm a cool guy" way possible, I started walking and simultaneously slid my bag off the one arm and used that momentum to throw it right next to the door. Pretty slick if I do say so myself. I walked past the two rows of brown desks occupied by the normal debaters, and sat at a desk next to one the fourth years. His name was Andrew, though I didn't know that at the time. He had dark hair and hazel eyes and was constantly looking at the clock. Like he had places to be. Next to him were Violet and Caroline, the best female students in our year. They got the best grades, had the best records, and never got into trouble. Caroline with her anime-styled red highlights and Violet with her blonde braids, they were practically the same person. Both never got into trouble, both had a prominent sense of morality and neither had any allergies. Weirdly enough, they weren't close, or friends at all. And next to them, was the person who made my heart feel like I was doing laps on the field. Not talking to anyone, (like all the fourth years), she had her hands on the table and was tapping her blue sneakers on the side of the tables leg. She was dressed in blue skinny jeans with a white T-shirt that wrinkled as she shifted to flip her blonde hair back behind her head. Everything about her just seemed to.... work. Besides the fact that she was friends with the worst people on the planet, she was borderline perfect. But, because she was friends with said people, it was important that I had no ideas about her. Romantic or otherwise.

And so, I pushed down feelings I refused to admit were there, stopped staring at her as if the was the Mother of Dragons, and looked forward as our debate instructor walked through the door. She was dressed in a black female tuxedo, and as she walked in, her long braided hair flew through the air behind her. The room quietened down immediately, a reflex everyone had developed in their first year of high school.

"Good afternoon. For those who don't know, I am Ms Everdale, your instructor. You may address me as ma'am, Ms Everdale, or, shall I deem you worthy, Evie. Until then, ma'am will be fine. I am aware that none of our new companions have any experience in this field. But, I am also aware that practice makes perfect, so you will learn by participating. Today's discussion will be about females wearing trousers" she said as she wrote, "Gender Equality?" on the board. "Fourth years, you're with me, Juniper and Grant." . Juniper, an African American, and Grant, an Asian second year, didn't seem happy to be with the rookies, i.e us. They dragged their feet and grumbled on the way to our side of the classroom.

"Okay" Everdale said. "Let's begin."

We had a pretty decent argument for the point, but everyone's presentations, (besides Juniper, Grant, and Ms Everdale), were mediocre. Some of us barely said more than 3 sentences. Until Chloe came on to close our argument, surprising everybody.

"In conclusion, we have tried to state that if we do not allow women to wear trousers, or pants, how could we stand and say that we are working towards equality? If we as people cannot allow this simplest of deeds, what does that mean for our future? How long will it be before women aren't allowed to vote, or drive and have decent jobs? Where does it end?"

And then the bell rang.

Chloe walked to her desk, picked up her purple Adidas bag, and walked out. Leaving everyone dumbstruck, our mouths wide.