The Strength Of the Heart

The Violets Are Blue - 8

And so I realised that not everything is the same. Yes the roses might always be red, but does that mean the lilys are red too? They're both flowers aren't they? It hit me that my experiences with other flowers, I mean people, did not mean that every thorn was out to get me. But obviously we can't forget that there are differences within the roses. And differences within people. Just because one hangs out with someone, doesn't mean he/she cannot hangout with someone else. Just because you've been given a label like "jock", or "nerd" or whatever, doesn't mean you can't branch out to do things they wouldn't expect of you. You are so much more than what they call you. Yes the Roses Are Red.

But just because they call you violet doesn't mean you aren't blue.

I got home, and ran up the grey, carpeted staircase. I dropped my bag at my work desk. It was cluttered with Dan Brown books and there was a Harry Potter poster with Ron and Hermione hugging on the wall beside it. It had been there since I was 4 and was two and a half feet off the ground. I organised the desk like I had been doing for years before, it was such a routine action. But today I did it faster than normal, for today, there was a girl I needed to talk to.

I walked calmly through the corridor, though I may have kicked a Barbie doll or two while walking past the white ebony doors of my siblings rooms. I opened my door, took one step into the room and in a medal worthy effort, jumped onto my bed from across the room. I pulled out my phone and the paper that had Chloe's number on it. It was crushed from how tight I was holding it in my hand trying not to lose it. But, fortunately, the number was still readable. I entered into my contacts and immediately started typing a text.

Hey...... Are you okay?

I pressed send.

And instantly started questioning my decision. I mean, what if she thought I was getting attached to her? I have her number even though she didn't give it to me. Is that a bit stalker-ish? Maybe I was getting attached, was that a bad thing? Maybe she didn't want anything to do with me after the rumors she's hearing about at school? But then I thought of something much worse than that.

What if she left because of this?

I spent the next 20 minutes silently freaking out because of a girl who probably didn't even know my name. Meanwhile my phone sat free of vibration because she did not respond. Other messages came in from some of my other friends but I ignored them.

That's mean. I know. I guess I was smitten with her.

The rest of the day was devoted to waiting for this message. Nothing could distract me. I took the phone with me everywhere( which I normally do but that day it was reasonable). All conversations I had with family consisted of "What?", "No I'm not hungry" and "Is that mum I hear calling me?"

The phone was my newborn because I would not let it out of my sight for more than five minutes. But after 7 p.m, I started losing hope of getting a reply. I started checking the time as an excuse to look at the phone. I did nothing that night. I don't know why it hurt me so much. I knew I was being dumb.

And that evening I went to bed with the phone by head. It's black casing empty of any blue lights that signified a text. Empty of any messages from anyone that mattered.