The Strength Of the Heart

Sweet Dreams - 10

Warning, exercise caution before admitting to yourself you have a crush on someone. It is a dangerous action. In fact I would advise against it. It is likely to cause you more harm than good if we're being honest. But, if you decide not to heed this warning, please be prepared for any reactions (or lack thereof) mentally, and emotionally. And if you don't, I can only pray for your soul......

I'm just kidding, I know falling in love doesn't come slowly. Well, at least not for me. It hits you like bus, full on, sometimes you don't even know what happened until it hurts you. Suddenly the earth's gravity isn't what's keeping you grounded. This person, this flower that sprouted from the depths of your emotion becomes the only rose in the garden. The last fish in the sea. The sky becomes a shade of blue you never thought possible. The thought of the person keeps you awake at night, most nights. But that's not a bad thing either.

Because you know when you fall asleep you'll have sweet dreams.

________________

Today was Thursday. The ever dreaded Thursday. And you know what that meant?

Debate club!

So I walked through the halls, deliberately stopping to say hi to every single person I knew (my most social moments if I do say so myself). Doing anything it took to kill debate time. I dragged my feet, tied my shoelaces multiple times, drank from 3 water fountains, but by the time I got to the room, there was still 50 minutes of debate time left.

And I wasn't the only one stalling either. It was week two of our forced ECA program and almost everyone was still complaining about it. Once again, certain posh people had their expensive phones out to call the parents to complain.
But nothing could be done.
So, as is the ritual, I sighed really loudly and opened the door.

Today was much better.

For one, the windows were open so it didn't smell like armpits and the sweat and tears of previous students. I could breathe without feeling the weight of lessons in my lungs. I think that was the greatest.
As I walked to seat next to the guy I knew was Andrew, I noticed that the tension was less as Ms Everdale explained something trivial and unimportant, (at least, I think it was). There was still that same fourth year:everybody else segregation but the distance between our 2 groups was smaller.

Plus, the lower kids had stopped giving us looks, so that was an up.

At the end of Everdale's hopefully unimportant lecture, she split us into two teams again. It was me, Andrew, Violet, Juniper, and three juniors, versus Chloe, Caroline, Grant, and three fifth years I didn't know the names of. The respective teams walked to opposite sides of the room. But as we walked to our stations, the tension rose. I could see something in the eyes of the regulars that I didn't notice last week. Once we had our teams, the room stopped being a location for a club.

It became a battle field.

I saw this as every single regular, even the one first year, fixed the other team with a glare. As if they were studying their mental arsenal.
I quickly started feeling more nervous than I thought I would. It was clear that right now, there were no friends.

Even Chloe, who's glare was less intense than the others, had determination written across the furrow of her brow. I felt sorry for whoever she was looking at. I looked behind me and realised that there was no one there.

I was the one getting the death stare.

I looked away. Slowly though. Didn't want her to think I was nervous even if I was. I shifted my weight on the surface of the hard plastic chair, turning my body to the moss green chalkboard where Ms Everdale started to write down the topic.

Are professional athletes paid too much?
Chloe, Grant, etc, For
Juniper, Andrew, e.t.c Against

And so, for the first time that day, I sized up the competition. It was to be great and story tale battle between the 2 sides. One we would tell our grandchildren about on the porch in a rocking chair. This was the first time the new students (i.e. us) presented something coherent. It was some yearbook worthy stuff.

But you don't want to hear about that do you?

After debate had concluded, (with Chloe's side as the winners), I plucked up the courage to go talk to her. I strolled over, pulling my hair back, licking my lips. You know, everything they guy does in the movies before he gets the girl. It took me five seconds to get where she was standing alone, probably waiting for her friends. Pretty simple to figure out. Unfortunately it took a further seven seconds for me to come up with anything coherent to say. 

"Uhh... Hey Chloe? Need someone to.....uhhh.... keep you company?" 

As I said it I started turning, anticipating rejection. Why would a popular girl want hang out with me? She was waayyy out of my league. She was too smart, too pretty, too-

"Yeah I do actually. Just until my Mum gets here. Clearly my friends didn't wait for me," she said with a roll of her eyes. Ahh yes, it seemed fate had smiled upon me today. But, I had to keep calm. We started walking to the front of campus.

"Some friends huh" I said, sarcasm layering my voice. I expected a defensive response, angry that I would say something like that without knowing them. 

Instead, she laughed.

"It's really not that bad. At least they aren't following me around anymore. Kinda hard to make friends with lipstick wearing bodyguards around. " Her voice sounded tired. Sad even. 

There was a silence after she said this. I was honestly shocked. I hadn't thought about the possibility of her wanting to be friends other people. She put her hand on the door handle and hesitated. 

"Thanks for walking me" she said with a smile, getting into the car. She didn't stop looking at me until they drove out of the parking spot. I watched them drive off.

"Yeah sure"