Trust, Heal and Love

Chapter 15

A/N Warning this Chapter does contains some serious dark material I suggest if you are under the age of 16 that you skip this chapter and pick up on the next. This chapter may be trigger pointing for some people.

Chapter 15

I wake up feeling groggy and sore, incredibly sore. I open my eyes and am greeted with stark white walls. I sit myself up and wince as a sharp pain radiates through my lower back. Once I am sitting up I notice a chair next to the bed which is occupied by a sleeping Conner. I reach up and run my fingers through his soft dark hair. I smile when I see him shift his head as he leans into my touch.

“Hey.” I say as he slowly wakes up.

“Hey.” He smiles back and places his hand in mine. Sparks run up my arm creating a warm feeling all over my body. We both stare at each other as the world falls away leaving only us.

Before his gaze would have scared me and caused some form of memory or panic attack, but now I take comfort in his gaze as I can feel his love radiating through his eyes. Even if he hasn’t said the words yet I can feel it through his actions.

“Are you in pain?” He brushes hair away from my face and I shake my head.

“I am fine. How much longer do I need to stay?” I shift around on the bed trying to get comfortable.

“The doctor should be up soon. Grace came and saw you last night, she still calls me momma.” I laugh causing a slight pain.

The doctor came into the room not long later with a smiling face as she tried to cheer up the room. "Clare how are you feeling?" She smiles trying to create a calming space before she delivers whatever news she has.

"Better still a little bit sore." I look down at my hands sighing. I always seem to be in pain I wonder if there will be a time where I will no longer be in pain.

"That is understandable." She does her normal checks and I see her smiling which I assume is good news.

"You are doing very well since the last time I saw you. You are still underweight, however you have put on some more since I last saw you. You are looking a lot healthier, your skin isn't so pale and your hair seems to be better. How are you with keeping food down?" I look at Conner who is smiling at the news that I am getting better.

"I can eat more but some foods still make me sick and if I eat too much." She nods her head.

"That is fine, if you keep doing what you are doing then you should be fine. I would also like to recommend you to come and see me once a week. Conner told me that you hear Derek's voice when you become upset. I think it would help to come and see me so we can work through what you went through with your old pack." I look at Conner who tightens his hand around mine.

I want to get better so Conner can have the mate he deserves. Grace deserves the type of mother who can love her with all her heart and not a portion of it. I am tired of Derek still ruining my life. I don't want him to rule my life anymore. Conner has been teaching me to live my own life and be my own person and that is what I want. I want to be me. I don't want to be what Derek wanted me to be anymore. So that is why I agree.

"Good." She leaves the room and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I look at Conner who is beaming with pride.

"I am so proud of you Clare." He kisses my hand and I feel myself blush under his touch and gaze. I try and remember the last time someone was proud of me and it's sad that I can't. Derek was never proud of me, I was a disgrace to him. My parents were never proud of me choosing Derek over them. I was never proud of myself. I shift in my bed closing my eyes.