Lotus

Introduction

My mother always had reminded me of a beautiful flower. A lotus. A rose. Drifting down a sparkling stream. Tranquil and whispering the purest of words. Her mother was vietnamese. She had the most beautiful of voices. Soft, forgiving. She taught my mother to speak the same. Her father was black. He had strong ties to his African roots, acknowledging where his grandparents were from. He taught my mother to do the same as well. In touch with her roots, never ashamed. Speaking up for the women and men of color who felt insecure about their skin tone or hair. Letting them know they are equal and beautiful.

But cocaine and heroin taught her vile things. Cocaine taught her to depend on something temporary rather than loving the permanent. It taught her to ignore her children who forever loved her. I believe she loves us, but the drugs have tainted her. Masked her. And she cannot escape.

Heroin taught her to stab her gorgeous golden honey skin. Leaving crimson red scars, surrounded by green and blue broozes. Now her body is scattered with blue. Not a soft, generous blue that shares its skies with the sun. But a blue the color of moldy bread, once full of potential, yet now spoiled.

My father is domincan. His parents had been tainted with drugs, dealing day and night. He shunned anyone who even considered drug use, whether marijuana, cocaine, Xanax or aderall. He was traumatized by the nights he would hear his father fighting an unhappy client in the living room. Somedays he would wake up to seeing his father with a black eye. Somedays he would hear the sound of his father cheating with a crack whore, a woman once beautiful, Now so desperate for a fix shell give her body up for a hit.

When My father found out mum was doing drugs, and i was smoking weed he turned us in. Mother went to prison for possession of cocaine and heroin. I couldn't go to prison due to the fact im 15. My brother, 14, innocent completely put through the pain of his father abandoning his family rather than helping his wife through her addiction.

I wish I were a flower.
Flowers are beautiful.
They feel no pain.