Lotus

Whack

The next morning the sun didn't shine. The sky was grey, gloomy and unforgiving. Rain poured against the window I sat beside, gazing outside longingly. My heart yearned for how my family was before our addictions and troubles. When mum would take us to the park and I'd play with the glass in absolute joy. It was just grass, but the tiniest things made me happy back then. I could just be ripping grass out of its soft home and throw it at my brother and I'd smile in joy. I'd rip the grass out of the ground like addiction ripped and tore my family apart into one billion tiny shreds. It could take years to put us back together, but no one has the motivation to do so. So we just drifted apart in an endless sea of loneliness and depression. 

I yawned in exhaustion, glancing towards Sage who still slept on the couch we shared the night before. We didn't sleep much and my heart was pounding with confusion. Why did it happen? Is it love or lust or infatuation. I still wasn't sure. My head throbbed just by thinking. It was like vigorous waves crashing against rocks along a gloomy shore. 

"Hey," a sleepy, serenading voice mumbled sleepily.

I glanced over towards the couch, where Sage sleepily sat up, rubbing her gorgeous eyes, letting out a cute little yawn that made my tummy rumble with butterflies.

"Hey..." I said softly in reply, a soft and adoring grin growing on my golden skin.

We both just sat and stared at one another for a bit, unsure of what to say. Ever since last night things felt awkward. A strange tension grew between us that made our friendship seem different. We'd only known eachother for a week and something already happened. Neither of us regretted it... we just didn't know what it meant, and we didn't have the motivation to try and find out either.

----

Later on Madi walked inside her apartment, shivering from all the rain that poured outside. She had her hair up in a messy bun, her ivory skin slightly damp with rain drops kissing her soft skin. She flopped down on the couch in her red sweatpants and took her white Champion hoodie off, revealing a black tank top. 

Jay walked into the living room sleepily, he had been sleeping until now, which was 3:00... But that was cause he had to take night shifts. As he sleepily wobbled into the living room he reached for the thermostat, turning it up a bit and moving over to where his girlfriend sat. 

"How was work?" He asked sleepily, putting his arm around her with what it seemed like to be, false protectiveness.

Madison shrugged, resting her head on his broad shoulder. When Jay and I had talked, he said he was Bolivian, Italian, French, Syrian and Danish. He had a diamond shaped face, hazel eyes, thick brows, black straight hair with eagle wings with a Chicago Bulls hat over it. He wore a red Crooks & Castles t-shirt and red and black Jordans.

Madi sighed, shrugging. She ignored his question and glanced towards Sage.

"Hey, could you help me with the dishes?" She asked softly, sitting up and walking into the kitchen tiredly. Sage nodded, giving me a quick smile and following her friend.

Me and Jay were alone.

"So why was you with Sage inna group home?" He asked curiously, resting his elbows on his legs; looking into my eyes.

I shrugged, awkwardly looking down at my feet. I had fluffy red weed socks on cause ya girls a basic weed thot. I glanced back up.

"Mom got busted for drugs n' dad ditched me n' my brother Malik," I told him uneasily. But something about him made me feel interested in him.

"That's whack bruh," he replied in a careless tone... I think.

He's hard to read. I see something in his deep hazel eyes that makes me uneasy, but in his tone I feel something strong and caring. Something I wanna be draped in. Like when you finally find a candle you like the scent of and all you wish is to be bathed in it and surrounded by it forever.

He kept talking. Talking about how whack police are. How whack social workers are. I mean, I totally agree. But I'm tired of the negativity. I just need home. I don't wanna keep complaining about how whack this goddamn world is. I wanna actually do something about my life. 

"Yo, Aquila!?" Jay said, snappin' me outta' my lil' trance. I glanced up at him softly.

"Sorry..." I whispered, cracking my knuckles out of anxiety and sadness as usual. I took a deep breath of exhaustion, then let it out.

Jay sat across from me, shaking his head forgivingly, "it's fine bruh, not like Madison listens either." He added sadly. No saltiness, no anger. Just sadness. And hearing that in his tone made my heart break a little.