Now here we are....... DISCONTINUED

Forwards, Friends and Fudgety Fudge Fudge (27)

Allana's POV

What on earth was that about.... I get what happened seems really compromising but Lexi, someone who I thought was my friend, has absolutely no right to judge me for anything I've done. She's not perfect, nobody is. So why has she suddenly turned on me for being attacke- I mean, kissed by Chris?

I mulled it over, as I hungrily gulped down my food, starving from the days events, watching my classmates laughing and smiling happily. Just doing whatever they pleased. I saw Lexi and Everlee laughing about something before looking at me and snickering some more. I watched as Katrina, Allison and Maria sat chatting and checking their phones looking like very "real" friends. After I'd glanced around, I kept my attention on the door focusing on it. Or rather, the people coming through the doors.

Leaning my head on my hands as I picked at the remains of my food, I watched the flow of people rushing in and out begin to diminish. Before I knew it, I glanced at the clock noticing how much time had passed. Not once had he walked through the doors. Brooke and Ren had remained at the table with me but had left me to my own thoughts, seeing as how I was preoccupied with them and everything going on right now.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ren kiss Brooke's temple, whispering something sweet making her cheeks tinge pink before getting up from the table and  striding out the door I was so intensely watching.

I sighed, my eyes clouding a little wanting what they had. Why my life couldn't be simple, I didn't know. But I did know that I just wanted to be loved. That's all anyone wants right? I felt a traitorous tear slip down my cheek but I didn't do anything to stop it. I was just so tired of all the drama, all the complication. I couldn't handle it anymore, not that I had been handling before but still, I just couldn't. I dipped my head down low, resting my cheek on my arm, staring out the window beside the door.

I sniffed wiping away my meek tears, feeling Brooke resting her hand gently on my shoulder. She didn't say anything but sometimes that's the better option, she was just there, that's what true friends do. I pushed myself up off the table now realizing we were the only two people in the Mess Hall now.

"You ok?" She asked me with a small smile and concern dancing in her green eyes. I nodded, unable to speak, silly tears clouding my vision.

I let out a shaky sigh, shaking my head this time. "No, Brooke, I'm really not OK." I squeaked out, my voice crackling with sadness.

"Awww Allana, it's okay not to be okay." She told me coming up to me wrapping me in a friendly hug. "It's ok to cry sometimes, you know. You're only human, I understand that." She told me still hugging me, as I nodded.

"Brooke, How do you do it? You're always so calm and just.... happy. And you have a boyfriend, and good friends. And then you're just an all around good person. How do you handle it? Because I can't..." I spoke shakily through my tears. She leaned back with a soft smile, "Truth is, I can't either. But it helps to have good friends like you, and sometimes I just have to remind myself that it's ok to cry, to be vulnerable. And you know as well as I do, that even if you've gotten hurt in the past, limiting our futures because of that doesn't help. But Allana, it's ok to take a step back sometimes and just work on yourself for a bit. I'm still trying to figure out who I am, but I'm getting closer to finding out everyday and that's why I guess I'm so happy. So just take a step back for a bit 'k?"

I smiled a little at her wise words, nodding. "Thanks... You do know that you're actually an amazing human being and I'm so glad you're alive and my friend right?" She laughed, hugging me one more time before saying with a friendly smile, "Come on, let's go enjoy that last few bits of our camping trip k?" I nodded, wiping my tears away, happy to have a friend who would stick by me through thick and thin.