You Can Only Hurt Me Once [NamKook]

cinq

"Jungkook," Jimin turned to me for a second as we drove to a nearby ice cream parlor.

"Yeah," I quietly acknowledged him.

"I was just wondering how things were going with Joon-hyung. Have you found the right time to tell him?"

"I...I'm not sure, actually."

"What do you mean?," he asked, his lips forming a pout.

"I...I couldn't say it to his face. I was scared. So we recorded a song instead and I'm only hoping he understood."

"Um...Jungkookie...not that...that isn't the cutest thing I've heard in a while, but how exactly was he supposed to know that you were confessing to him? We are singers, after all."

"Well....yeah, but...it felt like he knew, but he just...couldn't wrap his head around it."

"Hm," the older nodded, "Well, I hope he understood. And I hope he makes you happy. If not, I'll be the hypocrite that kicks his ass."

I looked over just in time to see him glance at me with a grin on his lips.

"Tae, stay with me tonight," Jimin said suddenly, grabbing our friend's arm and ushering him to our shared room.

"Guess we need to find a place to sleep tonight, Jungkook-ah," Hobi-hyung sighed.

"Yoon's staying with a friend," Jin said, "One of you can take his bed for the night."

"Go ahead, Hyung," I smiled sleepily, "I'll take Tae's bed."

"Cool," he yawned and got up to stretch before he headed off to bed.

"I'm gonna pass out, too," Joon-hyung said, pushing himself off the floor where he was laying.

"Okay," Jin-hyung lightly waved at him as if to say goodnight.

I looked to the floor and waited for the sound of the doors closing down the hall. Then I looked up at Seokjin and let out a breath.

"Don't waste time, Jungkook. I know. And it's okay, really," he moved to sit next to me and put an arm around my shoulders.

"I feel like it's too much. Like I don't have a clue what I'm doing."

"You'll never know what dating is like if you don't try it out. Then you'll never know when you're in love, 'cause you'll have nothing to compare it to."

"I know," I rubbed my face and groaned in annoyance, "But, it's scary, Hyung."

"I know," the older laughed slightly, "But you're the golden maknae. That means something."

I went to bed a few hours later. I quietly snuck into Taehyung-hyung's bed. I thought I'd give Joon-hyung his space for a while.

I went to sleep pretty easily, but I woke up some time later when I felt the bed dip and a rush of cold air under the covers.

I would've suspected Jimin- if not for the height of the person behind me- since they laid their hand on my side the way Jimin always used to.

I looked over my shoulder and squinted through the darkness to try and see.

"Sorry, Kook," Joon-hyung's voice said, "Just go back to sleep."

And I did, easily; lulled by the feeling of his hand rubbing my stomach through the sheets and my shirt.

I woke up by myself and Namjoon had just come back from a shower. His hair was still wet as he pulled a shirt over his head.

I pulled the blankets up to my nose and silently watched as he moved about the room. He would pick up a bracelet, study it, then put it back down. Then maybe try a hat on with his outfit, only to put it back in it's proper cubby.

I realized how creepy I must look. Just some lovestruck kid peeping over the edges of a blanket as he gets dressed.

But...honestly it was cute. I had to keep myself from laughing multiple times.

He turned around suddenly and froze. I realized we were staring at each other.

"Morning," he smiled lazily.

"Morning," I mumbled.

He was playing with his shirt sleeve as he moved to his bed. He picked up his phone then took a deep breath. "Jungkook...about earlier...I'm not sure if you remember, but-"

"I remember."

He nodded then turned around to face me again, "I'm not sure where I'm going with this, honestly."

I sat up after a beat of silence and rubbed my eyes, "I think....Jin Hyung was right."

"Jin Hyung?"

"He said that I'd stay confused until I did something about it."

"Confused about what?"

I sighed and dropped my legs over the side of the bed. I dropped my head back in order to look at him. "Can...we go on a date?"

I don't blame him for freezing up, for playing with his phone case, for not looking at me. I was awkward too when Jimin confessed to me. I didn't know how to handle it either.

Because I knew Jimin the way Joon-hyung knows me: as a brother.

The thought of being more than that is scary because it can ruin everything. And it almost had for me and Jimin and he knew that.

I wouldn't be surprised if that was one of his first thoughts. 'What if we end up the same way?'

"Kookie...I....I mean...you know I'm Bisexual...you know I'm fine with your sexuality. I just...I don't think it'd be good for us to date within the group. Not only because of what happened with Jimin, but because...I mean...if it doesn't work out then I could potentially lose one of my best friends. One of my brothers. People are hard to replace, especially those we're so close to."

"I know," I said quietly, "I knew that with Jimin-hyung. I still know that. But...if you feel the same as I do, then I don't see why we can't try."

"Jungkook," he sat down next to me on Tae's bed, "I...I don't want to hurt you. If I doesn't work with us...I don't want you to think that you can't come to me with any problems. Because you can and I just-"

"I promise. I won't shut you out, Leader-nim." I smiled to myself and bumped my shoulder against his.

He shook his head and grinned as his eyes gazed across the room. After a pause he said, "Ask me again once the album is finished."

"Completely or just out of editing?"

He laughed. "Completely."