You Can Only Hurt Me Once [NamKook]

douze

I woke up on a bright Saturday with Joon-hyung wrapped around me.

He wasn't asleep, as his thumb was stroking my arm and his throat letting out little hums every once in a while.

I basked in the simplicity of the moment, just for a few minutes, then stretched my arms out to let him know I was awake.

As soon as I rolled over our eyes met and he smiled, dropping his head from his propped up hand to his bicep.

"Morning," I mumbled, moving to my side so I could face him.

"Morning, Baby." He mumbled, his voice raspy with disuse.

I smiled and snuggled into his neck, "Joonie."

"Hm?"

"Nothing."

He grumbled and wrapped me back in his arms, "You smell nice."

"I showered at four. Me and Hobi-hyung we're making choreo till two."

"You should sleep more, then."

"Nah, I'm fine. Just hold me."

He lightly smiled and buried his nose in my hair.

I closed my eyes again and threw my arm over his side, letting my fingers play with his shirt.

"Kook, can I ask a big question?"

I took a few deep breaths as I thought about it. "Yeah."

I felt his lips lightly kiss my forehead, then he moved so that we could see each other. "Why would you never sleep with Jimin?"

I pouted at that and fisted his shirt in my hand. "Well...I did once. Around my twentieth birthday. But he just...seemed...it was like sex was all he wanted after that. Kisses led to sex, cuddles led to sex, even when I came back from showering he'd ask me to. I didn't just want sex. I really did like him."

He nodded and brought a hand up to smooth my hair down.

I let out a sigh then snuggled back into his neck. "Why do you ask, anyway?"

He placed a more firm kiss against my forehead as he ran his fingers through my hair. "Because I can't deny that I'm attracted to you, but I knew sex was a tough subject for you. I was just wondering if you were waiting for something in life or someone."

I smiled and nuzzled against his collarbone. "No. I can't get married, so I gave that dream up a while back."

"I wish you could. So you wouldn't have had to give up on it. It's a sweet gesture to wait until marriage."

I groaned in embarrassment and pulled him as close as possible.

He chuckled and relaxed in my arms. "Feels nice to be held," he mumbled.

"Get used to it," I chuckled, "I'm a cuddle machine."

"I guess I can get used to this," he chuckled, "As long as forehead kisses are involved. That's the deal breaker."

I rolled my eyes and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead, which made him smile. After that, he pushed me to my back and laid his head on my chest.

"Thanks baby."

I smiled to myself and started threading my fingers through his hair. "What color do you think you'll do next?"

He shrugged. "Probably blonde. It looks good on me."

"Cause you're a tan boy."

"Man."

"Boy."

"Man."

"Man-child."

"Yah, you can sleep on the floor."

I laughed and brought my other hand up to his cheek. "I can't cuddle you on the floor."

"Well..." He tilted his head back to look at me and squeezed my hip.

I rolled my eyes shyly and giggled. I couldn't deny he was stronger now and his hand gripping me was nice.

After our eyes met I could feel his grip tighten and all I wanted to do was roll my hips into his hand.

I bit my lip and my fingers paused in his hair. He chuckled and pushed up on to his knees.

My arms automatically wrapped around his neck as he framed my thighs between his knees.

Once his forearms slipped under my back, he hummed. "Can I kiss you?"

I felt my cheeks flush at the thought then nodded as my fingers played with his shirt tag.

He giggled and brought a hand to my cheek. "Just turn away if you wanna stop."

I nodded and took a deep breath as he leaned in.

And oh Lord. I laughed as soon as he started to- well, tried to move his lips.

He chuckled as I laughed. "What?"

"Who taught you to kiss?"

At that, he pouted.

I held his cheeks in my hands and giggled before pecking his lips. "Just take it slow. Don't...worry about making it nice. It's already nice just to be kissed."

He blushed and smiled before pecking my nose. Then he moved back to my lips, moving a lot slower, which gave him more control.

I found the rhythm of it and kissed back, wrapping one of my arms around his neck and the other trailed down his back.

He tensed when I skimmed my fingers over his spine. I smirked and pushed my hand under his shirt, digging my nails into every inch of skin I could reach.

He pulled away panting when my nails reached between his shoulders. "Kook..."

"Joonie." I smiled and bit my lip.

He dropped his head to my chest and grumbled, "I don't wanna stop."

I smiled and smoothed my hand down his back to his ass, "I didn't say you had to."

He groaned and shook his head. "Everyone's here. I just... It should just be us."

I smiled at that and giggled, bringing my hands up to his face. "You're so sweet." I pecked his lips and watched his blush grow.

"I'm serious, though. I don't want the others around when we..."

"When we're intimate," I supplied.

He nodded, the blush spreading down to his collarbones.

"And that's sweet. You're a sweetheart."

He smiled at that and pecked my lips. "You look cute," he mumbled, bringing his hand up to push my bangs back.

"Thank you," I laughed.

He opened his mouth to say something, but by the time his voice made it out the door creaked open.

"Knock, knock. Pull your panties up, I got your laundry." Seokjin-hyung announced, a big laundry basket on his hip.

Joon-hyung raised up and moved to sit beside me, watching our eldest go through the clothes.

"Thanks Hyung," Joon said sarcastically, stretching his arms out in front of himself.

"I took a caffeine pill, I've been up for a while. Don't judge me, but this damn apartment is spotless. And breakfast is getting cold, so you two should go eat. Yoongi's drowning himself in eggs and toast."

"Ooo!" I sat up, "Do we have grape jelly?"

"I think in the pantry-"

I'd never moved so fast that early in the morning.