You Can Only Hurt Me Once [NamKook]

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I went back to the dorm earlier than everyone else. I managed to take a small nap and order take out.

Just as I was sitting down to eat, Taehyung and Jimin came in. They called for me and I answered, bringing them into the dining room.

"Hey," Jimin smiled, taking a seat next to me. "You feel better?"

"Much," I nodded, "I laid down and napped for a few hours." I left out how I slept in Joon-hyung's bed, though.

Tae sat down with his snack and stared at me for a while.

"You okay, Hyung?" I asked him before shoveling my mouth full of noodles.

He rested his elbows on the table and let out a breath, chewing slowly. "Jungkookie...tell me something, honestly."

"Yeah?"

"Do you like him as much as you used to like Jiminie?"

Jimin's face fell a bit at that, but he didn't protest to me answering.

"Well," I mumbled, pushing my tongue against my teeth, "Not...not yet. It's almost the same. But...everything's different. Like...even the things I want from him are different."

"Hm," Tae mumbled. "Do you wanna swap rooms with me? You can share with Joon-hyung and me and Jiminie and Hobi-hyung can share."

"I don't want to kick you out-"

"You aren't. I'm offering to swap. You know what I want. I know what you want. Let's get to work getting it."

I glanced at Jimin and saw him pouting while playing with his fingers. "Thanks, Hyung." I looked back to Tae and smiled.

I heard the front door slamming and Jin scolding Joon-hyung for not putting his shoes away properly, so I curled up in my new room and held my breath.

A few minutes passed as I kept my eyes glued to the door. I would tense up every time I heard footsteps in the hall. It was usually just someone going to the bathroom.

But, suddenly, footsteps came all the way to the door and Namjoon called back down the hall to Yoongi.

I froze and pulled the blankets up to my nose.

He stepped in and went to his bed, throwing his phone and jacket down. After that, he sat on the edge and rubbed his face.

I wanted to comfort him, of course, but I didn't wanna scare him. I don't think he even noticed me.

A silence passed over then he quickly looked up.

I flinched and hid under the sheets.

"Jungkook?" He stood and walked over to me. "Kook, what are you doing?" He pulled the covers off next and I sighed. "Why're you hiding in here?"

I sat up slowly and let him sit beside me. I played with my hands before letting out a breath. "Taehyung-hyung...wanted to switch rooms with me."

"Why? Did I upset him?"

"No!" I quickly said, grabbing his arm. I didn't want him to leave. "He just wanted to room with Jimin-hyung, is all. And he...he knew I liked being with you."

He let out a breath then reached up and ruffled my hair. "As long as everyone is happy." He smiled.

I nodded, a small smile coming to me as well.

"So, do you need help getting your stuff in here?"

"No, thanks. Tae and Jimin-hyung already helped." I pushed my hair back from my face and looked to the wardrobe.

"Good," he laid back, across my legs, and stretched out. "More relaxing for me."

I smiled and reached down, pushing my fingers through his hair.

"Kook, we still have to talk about you passing out."

I nodded.

"What's wrong? Have you been eating?"

I nodded again. "I just... It's hard to sleep without you now. I... I guess I'm exhausted."

He rolled to his side and propped his head up on his hand. "Why didn't you tell me? We could've worked something out."

I bit my lip and turned towards the window. "I...I didn't wanna bother you anymore than I already had."

He sat up at that and moved closer. His hands rested on my cheeks and he made me look back to him. "You've never bothered me, Kook. I mean it. We've all got things we need and if this is what you need, I have no problem being here for you."

For a second, I felt my heart fall into my stomach, then I was kissing him.

I don't know how long it lasted, but I pulled away as soon as I came back to my senses.

I slid out of bed, apologizing as I made for the door.

He called to me and caught my arm, pulling me to stand between his knees. His hands rested on my hips and he looked up to me, giving me his soft eyes. "It's okay, Kook. Promise. Don't run away."

I reached up and covered my face as I groaned. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry."

"Nothing's wrong with you," he tugged me into his lap and started petting my head. "It was just a kiss, it's not like I minded."

"You're just saying that." I mumbled.

"Kook, if I didn't want to kiss you, I would've punched you by now."

I groaned and hid my face in his neck. "Hyung... something is wrong with me. I'm going insane. All the time...I just wanna lay in bed and let you hold me. And it sucks. Because I can't always have that."

He didn't say anything to that, just wrapped his arms around my torso and leaned his his chin against my temple.

We stayed still for a long time, and I can't say I minded. I could hear the other Hyung's laughing in the dining room, but I didn't have the urge to join them when I was with Namjoon.

I couldn't understand it.

Everything was so different from when I loved Jimin-hyung.