How to Be a Disney Princess

Everyone Wants You Dead

It is well known that your road to royalty will not be done without at least one person who wants your heart served up on a silver platter. This being said it may be time that you decided to watch your step as there could be a hunts man after your heart or a poison apple with your name on it.

The best way to ensure your safety is to avoid these people completely. If anyone you know is showing any one of these signs- drop them they are plotting your demise.

Moustaches and side burns, no good has come from a moustache or side burn. Our old friend Jaffar has proven to us that moustaches are a no go zone, and Hans may have had some of us fooled but he let us down in the end too. However a beard is ok, preferable from a old wizardly looking man- those guys are legit.

Woman with long (often dis-coloured) nails, have bad news written all over them. They will abracadabra you into a squirrel and your hopes and aspirations of becoming a princess are gone. Anyway, what good could come from nails that long anyway?

Old ladies in general are just evil. If they have moles, bug eyes, missing teeth long nose, hunch back and or just plain ugly the best thing you can do is get your wanna-be princess ass out of there before you get zapped. Bonus points if they have a crow or raven with them, in witch case you better just run and keep on running.

Pretty much anyone wearing really dark colours is bad especially if they long sleeves and hoods. They want to kill you too. Just pretty much assume everyone wants you dead and you might live.

But no one wants you gone as much as your wickedly evil step mother. She will do everything in her power to get rid of you. She even cares about getting rid of you so much she might hire a hunter to bring her back your heart. So be sure you stay well away from her.