(HIATUS) Lasts Of Life | VIXX

RIP SHINee's Jonghyun

First of all, I'm not a Shawol, and I'm not going to claim to be one cause that'll make me a hypocrite, but I've basically known SHINee and all the members before I even gotten deep into kpop.

I remembered just now the fact that not all people who smile are happy. I've been there, but not as deep as how the others who experienced great depression have felt. I knew how it felt like to wake up everyday and live a normal life. By normal I meant "happy". I knew how tiring it was to pretend to be normal. Jonghyun, and others must've felt worse, but I get it. I know the gist of how it feels. And it feels like shit, it might be twice as much to them.

Being an entertainer, being an idol, a producer, a composer, high expectations must be so hard for them to maintain. And we all have that one situation when we feel discontented of ourselves. We always do. And we know that being an idol, means to be perfect. And since they're idols, I have the strong feeling that they couldn't get the help that they really wanted because they are scared of the judging eyes of some people, and maybe they still wanted to be "perfect" in their fans' eyes. But no. Idols are still and will always be humans. Idols are allowed to feel depressed, they are allowed to seek help freely without anything holding them back, but they can't ever take their life. Suicide must never be an option, but we can no longer change the fact that no matter how much we bargain and turn the tables around, they will never come back. However, I know that if we all accept our flaws, embrace them, and be brave enough to seek help, we can be "happy" again. Idols can be "happy" again.

For Jonghyun's case, maybe it was just too much for him to bear. Maybe he didn't get all the mental help he deserved. But wherever Jonghyun is in this world right now, may it be in heaven or on earth, I hope he's finally free and I hope that he's no longer suffering.

For Shawols, you must stay strong no matter what. All other fandoms are grieving with you so never feel alone. It's okay to cry, it's your beloved one after all. You can cry as long as you would like, but at the end of the day, you should be smiling. You should show Jonghyun that you are still happily living in this world, happy for him, appreciating his music and the life that he lived in bliss.

For those who are struggling, never hold back and ask help. May it be a mere stranger or a person who's really close to you. Know that acknowledging your depression in a negative way feeds off the devil in you. You have to let it out. They all have those hotlines that are spreading all around the world in hopes that they could save a life. Use them and call them. And know that all problems are meant to be solved, but there's never an easy way to solve it. Consider it as a challenge and you will get your reward as a form of "happiness" and "contentment"

Please, if anyone of you reading this is facing/struggling with depression. Consider me a friend and talk to me when you don't have anyone to talk to. I'm all eyes and ears.

God Bless everyone
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I'm so sorry if you expected this to be an update. I just couldn't help but voice out my perspective of this sudden, unexpected, unwanted news.