30 Days with Fina

Day 7

30 Days with Fina by JellOfAllTrades
Chapter 7


I woke up to the sound of an irritating beeping and almost threw my cellphone across the room when I saw that it was only seven in the morning. Groaning, I turned it off and closed my eyes again.

"Don't forget, Jellane Ramos, eight o'clock."

I sat up fast as if the pillow electrocuted me when I remembered Fina's reminder yesterday. The girl managed to convince me to come with her to church today and I'm now starting to regret promising her I would.

Church never attracted me or anything, I even doubt I could cross the threshold, maybe I'll burst into flames if I did. Religion is something my parents didn't accomplish drilling into me, I always rejected it. They tried so hard but I was stubborn, unbending. I thought of it as a crappy excuse for the unanswered mysteries of the universe.

Now I'm thinking of ditching Fina. How did she even manage to convince me?

"Nagayuma ata ako," I muttered to my messed up reflection on the mirror.

That would explain why I couldn't stop thinking of her, why I couldn't say no to her, and why I always feel like I want to see her. But then again, this must be my body still in shock of the threat my mother had told me. Maybe the reason why I can't stop thinking of her is that she's the only girl that I want but can't have. The reason I can't say no to her is that I don't want to disappoint her. And the reason why I always want to see her is that I'm sick and tired of the same people around me. Fina's a refreshingly new thing to me.

Decided, I went down to grab some breakfast but quickly regretted it.

"Oh, Jellane, ang aga mo ah!" Mom said, putting her coffee down and sitting beside Mamita on the dining table. The grown-ups; my mom and dad, uncle Ronnie and aunts Arlene and Julie are all there with Mamita.

"May lakad ako eh," I just said, avoiding eye contact with Mamita. I still feel furious at her for what she said yesterday.

"San ang punta?" Mamita inquired.

"Sa simbahan po,"

"Sama ka na samin. Dun din kami papunta." Dad said beside Mom.

I shook my head. "May kasama ako. Kita nalang tayo dun."

I stuffed my mouth with one pandesal and took another two back upstairs, oblivious to their confused looks. Chewing while rummaging my bag for a nice pair of jeans, the door of my room opened.

"Jell,"

"Mom?" I glanced over her, still rummaging my bag.

"Sinong kasama mong magsisimba?"

"A friend." I shrugged, finally finding my jeans.

"A friend? Sigurado kang kaibigan lang yan?"

I wheeled around to face her and saw that my mother's suspicious face. "So, now you don't trust me?"

"May nagsabi sakin na may nakakita sayo sa Jollibea. May kasama ka daw na babae."

I hung my head, trying to calm down. So she was serious when she said she knows people around town. I felt a shot of fear for my car back in Manila but knew that she can't take it away from me unless I actually do something. And I haven't done anything.

"Sinabi ba nila sayo na kumain lang kami?"

"Jellane, alam mong kinukunsinti ka namin sa mga gawain mo--"

"Ano?!" I almost shouted. "Ma, kaibigan ko lang yun. Bakit ba pinagiisipan nyo kami ng masama?"

"Hindi ko kayo pinagiisipan ng masama, Jell. Pinapaalalahanan lang kita na nasa Calauag ka at wala sa Manila."

"That's what you exactly sound right now," I walked past her to the bathroom, furious that she's suspecting me.

After dressing, I left for the playground where Fina told me to meet with her. The sun is already up in the sky, and the waves are gently crashing on the seawall. The playground is empty except for a girl wearing a white sundress, sitting on the swing set, and looking far out into the sea.

"Kanina ka pa?" I asked, making my way to Fina.

"Kararating ko lang," she stood up and smoothed the silky flow of her skirt. "Tara?"

"Tara,"

I called for a passing tricycle and helped her in.

"St. Peter, kuya, simabahan." Fina said to the driver.

The tricycle was small and I'm not exactly the same size as any normal girl. In the cramped up space, I was dimly aware of Fina's arm pressed against my side.

"You look good, by the way," I said as we passed by our house.

I saw a faint blush on her cheeks as she smiled shyly at me. "Thanks, ikaw din."

Okay, now what?

"Uhh..Asan nga pala yung pamilya mo? Ba't hindi sila yung kasama mo?" I asked. I faintly remember my mom forcing me and my brothers to attend mass with them when I was just six.

"Magkikita naman kami sa simbahan eh, nauna na sila dun." Fina answered and I noticed how she's fidgeting with her silver bracelet. "Ikaw? Asan pamilya mo?"

"To tell you the truth hindi talaga ako nagsisimba." I answered, looking out as we passed the market district and made a left turn. "Sila lang ang nagsisimba."

"Oh? Buti pala pumayag kang samahan ako."

"Wala, ang lakas mo sakin eh." I chuckled and got out of the tricycle. I helped her out and pulled some money for the ride.

Fina was determined to pay for herself but I pushed her money away, threatening her that I'll get mad if she insists. She silently obeyed and I felt stupid for doing that. I can't just threaten her, what if I scare her away?

"Sorry," I muttered.

"Hindi, ayos lang." She smiled sweetly at me and I knew she meant it.

Taking my hand, she guided me into the church. I eyed our hands warily but didn't pull back. Her hand felt soft and small against my large one.

She let go of me as soon as we found seats on the front left side of the church and I had a strong urge to take it back again. Except I didn't. Because I have my mother's threat hanging over my head, threatening to crash into my skull.

Mass started when the creepy sound of an organ piano started playing from behind us. I looked around, searching for the source, and found it on the terrace overlooking us at the back. Angel like voices started to sing and squinting my eyes, I saw the choir beside the organ piano up there.

Fina tugged at my sleeve, making me return my focus to the altar where the gray-haired priest has arrived and started to sing along with the choir, his deep booming voice like a radio announcer to my ears.

My sight trailed upward to where the whole front of the church is decorated by a large mural of the life and death of St. Peter the Apostle. A large chrome-plated crucifix hung over the priest's head, glowing green and blue from the LED lights fixed behind it.

"In the name of the Father, the Son--" The priest started after the opening song. Everybody made a sign of the cross and Fina nudged me to do it too. I only shrugged at her. I haven't made that sign for years now.

I tried to keep myself awake through the mass and when they started singing "Ama Namin", Fina reached for my hand. I almost froze in place, trying hard not to get my hands sweaty. God, that'll be awful.

When she went to receive communion, I remained on my seat, watching her as she lined up along with everyone. I caught sight of my mother, father, aunts Arlene, and Julie with uncle Ronnie and Mamita, also in line for communion. After receiving the communion wafer, I followed the sight of my mother and saw that they were seated on the right side of the church, totally oblivious to my presence just across the aisle.

"Sinong tinitingnan mo?" Fina asked. I didn't notice her return.

"Wala,"

"Parents mo?" She guessed, following my gaze.

"Err..yeah." I just answered. "Family mo, nakita mo na?"

"Nasa harap sila," She pointed to the front row where a balding man is seated beside a woman whose black hair is starting to gray on the scalp. "Puntahan nalang natin sila mamaya,  pagkatapos."

"Ha?!" I panicked, scared of meeting her parents.

"Wag kang matakot, mabait sila."

"Pwede bang next time na lang?" I excused.

"Bakit naman?"

"It's too early to meet your parents."

She eyed me curiously and only then did I realize that I sound like a panicking girlfriend. I mentally slapped myself for being a chicken but can't help but think of the many times I've been in the same situation; girlfriends wanting me to meet their parents and me panicking at how fast and serious things are getting into. I would break up with them later on.

When the mass ended, Fina approached her parents and I remained standing on one side, watching my relatives leave the church in a graceful and organized way, like a pack of predators.

Well, we are a pack of predators. My grandfather is a lawyer turned politician turned businessman before them and although Mamita was a teacher, she helped out once in a while with the family business. Their children soon enough grew up to be just like their father, a businessman with a keen sense of efficiency that made their own businesses boom up, even if it meant destroying some things to get their way.

Uncle Rick, the eldest, was an architect and he owned an architectural firm in Cavite. His firm is known for designing buildings for companies that build it on nature reserves, cutting down forests. He died of liver complications ten years ago and his son, Janus, took it up from there. I haven't seen their branch of the family for almost six years now.

Uncle Ronnie, the second son, is a business tycoon in Lopez. He is aunt Julie's husband and Laurence's dad. They own several businesses in Lopez. Their other children; Kuya Rommel and Kuya Ronald, whom I haven't seen since last year are helping out in the business while their only daughter, Ate Aira is in Norway. I heard plans of kuya Rommel going to run for Mayor this coming election and the stuff I heard for their preparation is a bit 'brutal'.

Uncle Rannie, the third son, is aunt Arlene's husband and father to Gerald and Mary. They own a chain of hardware stores and I've heard whispers that they also deal with illegal firearms.

My mother is the fourth child and the only daughter. She was the one who continued grandpa's law firm and I hate to admit it but sometimes I hear how she manages to win her cases, even when it's an obvious loss.

And lastly, there's Uncle Leo who owns several travel agencies in Laguna. I remember seeing one of his agencies get busted for illegal human trafficking on the TV about three years ago. Their branch of the family, I see every year.

Technically, if we meet up regularly and hire some goons, we'll be a mafia family already. But maybe that's why we don't meet up at all. Our families are too busy and occupied with our separate lives to tangle it up with each other's already complicated lives.

"Lalim ng iniisip ah,"

I woke up from my reverie and saw that Fina has returned to my side. "Anjan ka na pala,"

"Di ka lumapit sa parents mo?" Fina asked, following my gaze to the church doors where my relatives are exiting one by one.

"Hindi na, makikita ko din naman sila sa bahay eh."

She studied my face, trying to look past the pretentious smile I'm giving her. "May problema ka ba?"

"I just have a lot in mind." I shrugged, looking back again on the murals.

Fina followed my gaze at the murals and smiled. "Alam mo yung painter niyan, siya din yung gumawa ng mural sa Kamay ni Hesus Healing Church sa Lucban."

"Kamay ni Hesus?"

"Hindi ka pa nakakapunta dun?"

"I haven't even heard of it before."

"Talaga?" Fina looked surprised.

"What? Kasalanan bang hindi pa ako nakakapunta dun?"

"Hindi naman," Fina shrugged it off and looked back again to the murals.

"St. Peter the Apostle," I muttered, eyeing the picture of the saint being crucified upside down. I've once read an article explaining the scientific death of Jesus and I thought crucifixion was the second-worst way to go (after burning alive). Being crucified upside down must be a lot more worst than on the upright position.

"Alam mo bang hindi talaga Peter ang pangalan nya? Simon ang pangalan nya before Jesus renamed him." Fina said. "Peter means rock."

"Rock? As in bato?"

"Yes, Peter is the rock where the church is built. Siya ang kauna-unahang pope."

"You know a lot about him," I noted.

"Syempre, patron saint siya ng Calauag." Fina said, pushing a lock of hair behind an ear. "Madaming establishments ang ipinangalan sakanya dito; itong St. Peter's church, yung St. Peter's School Calauag, yung St. Peter's na ospital. Saka isa pa, tinuro talaga sya samin noon."

"Bakit naman? San ka ba nagaral?"

"Dito, sa St. Peter." Fina chuckled.

"Oh," I nodded, understanding. St. Peter's School is just beside the church. My own mother studied here too. I remember seeing her diploma and medals decorating the walls of our ancestral house.

I wondered if Fina has a lot of medals too; she's smart, witty, and funny, not to mention she's not having any trouble talking to me in English. A lot of people here are unaccustomed to talking in English, even my own cousins, so I feel comfortable with her.

"May dumi ba sa mukha ko?" Fina asked.

I shook my head, smiling. "Wala. So, ano na? May alam ka pang ibang trivia para sakin?"

"Madami pa."

We proceeded to walk around the church, Fina explaining to me the history of the place. Although I'm not exactly interested on anything that concerns religion, Fina's way of telling me about the place convinced me to listen to her attentively.

"You're a great teacher, you know that?" I said as we exited the church.

"Hindi ako teacher."

"Well, you would make an amazing one," I said. "Dapat pinagpatuloy mo ang pagaaral."

Fina stopped to look at me and I saw the sadness in her eyes. "Hindi na pwede.."

"What are scholarships for?"

She shook her head and looked away. "Sana ganun na lang kadali yun."

"Fina, nothing's impossible." I said, worried that I must have hurt her feelings. "Kung gusto may paraan, pag ayaw madaming dahilan."

Fina looked at me again, her head tilted to one side as she studied my face. I tried to look calm despite the painful racket my heart is doing inside me. What the fuck is it panicking for?

"May dumi ba sa mukha ko?" I joked, trying to lighten up the mood.

Fina chuckled and as if on a trance, she lightly pinched my nose. "Ang cute ng ilong mo."

No one, not one of my girlfriends or even my friends have made me blush for years now. And yet, Fina, whom I hardly know just made me do so with just a simple gesture. A simple touch. A simple compliment.

"I--uhh---th-thanks?"

Fina smiled that sweet smile of hers, turned around, and started walking. Dumbfounded, I watched her go.

"Pag di ka pa naglakad iiwan na kita."

Shaking my head, I smiled and jogged to her side. "Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin sayo."