30 Days with Fina

Day 28

30 Days with Fina by JellOfAllTrades
Chapter 28

I woke up at the early hours of dawn to Fina's moaning. Sitting up from my chair, I watched as Fina's chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm as she breathed deeply asleep. Tita Nani must have heard her too because she sat up and rubbed her eyes, too.

Watching for any bad signs on Fina, we waited until we figured that she's okay. A good half hour passed when I heard her moan again and roll to the other side of the bed. I sat up again and checked on her, seeing if she's okay.

I held Fina's cold hand and lowered my head to my arm, my eyes still on her in case something comes up. Her eyes scrunched up and she moaned again, so I sat up straight and gently called her awake.

"Fina? Fina, gising ka muna." I half-whispered in the silence of the room. "Fina, nananaginip ka."

She moaned again and her hand suddenly squeezed mine, making me jolt up in panic.

"Fina? May masakit ba?"

Tita Nani stood up, sensing something wrong and we locked eyes. With a nod, she left to call for help and I continued to call Fina awake.

"Fina? Gising ka muna, please." I half-whispered, shaking her shoulder.

Fina only moaned and her grip on my hand tightened. Her face still scrunched up in pain. I called her awake repeatedly, making hopeful glances at the door. And at last, Tita Nani came back with the doctor and a nurse. I stepped away, wishing Fina to be all right.

They checked her and the doctor called Fina awake too, shaking her by the shoulder too hard for me to frown at him.

"Fina? Fina, gumising ka." He called, shaking her.

I wanted to stop him because shaking Fina too hard may only be hurting her more but Tita Nani held on me like a life support and I don't want her to panic by causing any ruckus so I shut my mouth and watched as he tried to wake Fina up.

"Wake up, Fina. Wake up." I whispered it like a mantra, watching as they called Fina awake.

For what seemed like forever, Fina's eyes finally flew open but she still moaned and her face is scrunched up in pain.

"Jellane," She called out in pain and I hurried to the other free side of the bed and held her hand.

"Andito ako, Fina." I said. "Andito ako."

She moaned again, her yellowish eyes darting around the room like she's lost and trying to take in her surroundings. "Jellane,"

"Andito ako, Fina." I said again, squeezing her hand. But Fina's eyes never saw me and I wondered if she even heard me.

I looked at the doctor and he took Fina's charts from the nurse, studying it.

"Doc, anong problema sa kanya?" I asked, worried. "Bakit siya nagkakaganito?"

"Her blood toxicity rose last night. Baka nagtuloy-tuloy." He replied, still studying the charts. He then instructed something to the nurse and the nurse left in a haste.

He then took out his flashlight and checked Fina's yellowish eyes. He called her attention several times but Fina never responded, it was as if she went blind and deaf in just a single night.

When the nurse came back, she brought with her a syringe and a small flask with a strange transparent liquid that danced in the light. The doctor took the syringe and filled it with the liquid and he then injected it to Fina's tubes.

I didn't expect it to work immediately so I watched as Fina continued to moan and call my name. A couple of minutes passed and Fina's moans subsided and she slowly went back to sleep.

The doctor and the nurse went out of the room and Tita Nani followed after them to talk. I stayed behind, not wanting to leave Fina after what just happened. I can't leave her now, because if she gets through this, I want to be the first one she'll see and my voice the first one she'll hear.

Hours later, Fina is transferred to a private room as suggested by the doctor. She's been screaming for some time and they thought it will be better to isolate her from the other patients so that she won't inconvenience them.

For me, however, it's a reminder that Fina's getting worse.

I look at Tita Nani's pained expression as we watch Fina moan on her bed. She had stopped screaming out loud but hasn't stopped moaning out in pain and calling us.

The reason she can't see or hear us is because Fina's blood toxicity level rose and it's affecting her brain. The doctor even hypothesized that she's hallucinating that's why she keeps on calling us but all I could think is that she's calling us only because she wants to be saved from the pain she's experiencing. But all we could do is watch as the doctor said it would be better if they administer fewer drugs for Fina because of her liver condition.

I stand up from my seat across Fina's bed and approach her. Her eyes are open though she still looks lost and unseeing and her moans have subsided a bit. She looks tired and about to fall asleep in a few more minutes.

"Fina, can you hear me?" I asked, holding her cold hand.

She responded to my touch by tilting her head towards me and moaning softly. I swallowed the pain I'm feeling and smiled at her even if she can't see me properly. I must be hazy to her.

"Fina, pagaling ka." I whispered. "Nagaalala kaming lahat para sayo. Wag mo kaming iiwan ha?"

She moaned again softly at my words as if understanding me. I smiled and kissed her on the forehead. And maybe she felt that because she slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep.

I pulled the monoblock chair Tita Nani had used earlier and settled down beside Fina's bed. I checked on Tita Nani and figured she's okay sleeping on the couch.

Holding Fina's hand, I put my head down on her bed and made my arm into a makeshift pillow.

*****

I don't exactly know how long I've slept but I just woke up when Fina screamed.

"Fina?" Tita Nani scrambled from the couch to Fina's side. "Fina, anak. Anong masakit?"

"AYOKO PA!" Fina cried and I stared. That's the first words she said (well, screamed) that aren't my name or Tita Nani's.

Blinking, I realized what's happening and stood up from my chair. "Anong ayaw mo pa, Fina?" I softly asked her.

She cried strongly but her eyes darted around, lost. "Ayoko pa mamatay!"

We stared at her, surprised at her words. But we quickly regained composture and Tita Nani dashed off to call a nurse.

"Ayoko pang mamatay!" She cried again.

I wiped her tears away and held her cheeks. "Fina? Fina, naririnig mo ba ako?"

She stopped and closed her eyes for a second. "Jell?"

"Good, you can hear me." I sighed, relieved. "Can you see me?"

"Jell," She moaned, tears streaming down her lost eyes. "Jell, ayoko pa mamatay."

Okay, she might be sensing us hazily to be able to hear me but not understand me.

"Fina, hindi ka pa mamamatay, okay?" I said, consoling her. "Gagaling ka pa."

She continued to sob and hold on to me like I'm her life support. I didn't let go and even kissed her on the forehead.

"Gagaling ka, Fina." I whispered between her sobs. "Gagaling ka kasi hindi mo kami iiwan. Kailangan ka pa nila Tita Nani."

The door burst open and Tita Nani came in with Fina's doctor and nurse. They approached us and upon touching Fina for her vitals, she started flailing and screaming and panicking. She almost even punched me on the face if I wasn't fast enough to hold her.

"Doc, bilis!" I commanded as Fina continued to struggle.

From my peripheral view, I saw them inject a new liquid on Fina's tubes and after a minute, Fina started to tire down and in another minute she had closed her eyes to sleep.

We took a step away from her and watched her fall into a deep slumber.

"Wag niyo na siya basta-basta hahawakan," I said to the doctor and nurse. "Ask her first kung pwede siyang hawakan before you do. Tinakot niyo siya eh!"

"Miss Folloso, I can assure you that scaring her wasn't our intention." The doctor replied, looking apologetic.

"Well, you made things worst when you touched her like that. Kumakalma na siya nung dumating kayo eh!"

They looked at me as if scared I would eat them and I realized my mistake. He called me by my middle name and upsetting a Folloso in Calauag can be a grave mistake. I shook my head and let out a sigh. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just upset with Fina's condition."

That seemed to have relieved them a bit and they went out of the room to talk to Tita Nani. I stayed behind, looking at Fina sadly.

"Hindi ka mamamatay kasi kailangan ka pa namin." I said to her sleeping figure. "Kailangan ka pa ng parents mo and ng mga bata sa ampunan."

I sit down on my chair and hold her cold hand. "Wag kang mamamatay Fina kasi kailangan pa kita."