Star Wars: Defiance

One

Word Count: 1744

After only two days aboard the Millennium Falcon, Kylo appears to Rey as she catches up with Finn, Poe, and Rose. They were talking about filial things, to make it seem like the Resistance hadn't just been dwindled down to sixty people.

"Oh—and there was this one time when I was little"—Poe released a breathy laugh—"Leia was watching me for the day. I had begged her to let me fly with Han, but she wouldn't hear it. So"—another laugh—"me being the rebel I am, I snuck onto the Falcon and went to the cockpit.

"Chewie was there and he asked me what I was doing. I just told him that I was ready to fly. He humored me for the most part—probably knowing Leia didn't approve—but took me into space anyway. He was pretty laid back then, but now. . ." It was here that he paused long enough to glance back at the cockpit, where Chewie was seated next to Leia. Shaking his head, he continued, looking fondly back at the assembled group.

"It was the best thing I'd ever experienced at that age! But—oh, when we touched down, Leia was furious. Have you ever seen the general furious before?"

They laughed after that, imagining all that Poe had described. The ace pilot sat back in his seat, a cocky grin forming on his mouth. Rey couldn't help the bubbling laughter from escaping from her chest as well; it might have been the first time in a long while that she felt genuinely happy.

Rey's eyes flitted to each of her new friends—Finn, who had so much strength and loyalty; Rose, who, Rey had discovered, bore the largest heart of anyone she had ever met; Poe, the Resistance's best pilot with humor unlike any other. If only she were a little more like them, more normal.

But, Rey thinks, nothing about her life has ever had any normalcy. Sometimes she yearns, secretly, in the darkest parts of her soul, that she wasn't Force-sensitive. That she didn't have a bond with Kylo Ren that defied the span of a galaxy. That she wasn't so alone.

You're not alone.

Kylo Ren, her enemy, the last man she should ever feel similarity with, was the only one who understood her. She felt at peace when they touched, yearning for more. She felt in sync when they fought back-to-back because it was right. It was hard to feel against something so balanced.

She had given him her trust, her loneliness, her despair. And the saddest part was that he gave her some of his too.

She didn't jump when he appeared, rather, it was he who looked frightened. Rey gave him a tiny, sad smile and returned to pretending to listen to Poe's ongoing anthology. Sadness radiated from him, and regret. She didn't have to see his eyes to know that.

Rey laughed along when Finn and Rose did, she smiled when she was expected. All the while, half of her soul was pulsing with his emotions. It was as if he wasn't even trying to keep them secret from her. Jealousy spiked from him whenever she laughed, but how could he miss that it never reached her eyes? They could've been happy together. They wouldn't have to be a galaxy apart any longer if he had joined her.

They would've made quite the pair, Rey thinks. The thought saddens her, but in her mind, there is only steel resolve; she will not be the one to turn Ben Solo, he must be the one to do that.

But, oh, if needing and wanting weren't so far apart, they might have an excuse to meet in the middle. 

Rey knew that the Jedi were not allowed to have companionship. She knew that. But, perhaps she could alter the code a little. Attachments shouldn't be forbidden and accused as weakness, rather, they were something Rey drew her strength from.