Lost In The Inbetween

Lost in the Inbetween (Part I)

I awkwardly walk down the hallway, struggling to hold my textbooks with a broken arm. As I'm struggling to shift my books in a way that's less painful, I see my "family friend" Jared out of the corner of my eye. I almost can't stand him. He's only nice to me because if he's not, his parents will take away his car insurance.

"Is it weird to be the first person in history to break their arm from jerking off too much? Or do you consider it an honor?" he says. There was that sarcastic charm that I missed so much over the summer. NOT.

"No no no, I wasn't--" I stutter before Jared interrupts me.

"I'm painting the picture: You're in your bedroom, you've got Zoe Murphy's Instagram up on your weird, off-brand cell phone--" I interrupt him before he can go further.

"That's not, that's not what happened honestly, okay? I was just, just climbing a tree and I fell," I say, embarrassed.

"You fell out of a tree?" asks Jared. I nod. "What are you, an acorn?" he laughs at my expense. Before I could tell him about how I fell out of a tree at work and about how now I'm kind of a tree expert, who should show up but Connor Murphy.

Connor Murphy was the sort of boy that everyone talked about, but nobody wanted to be near. People called him a lot of names. Pothead. Fag. Freak. It couldn't have been easy. A part of me empathized with his situation. Nobody knew Connor for who he really was. Another part of me was scared that he would kill me. Or, at least beat me up.

"Hey, Connor!" Jared says with false cheer. I fall in behind him. I really don't want to talk to Connor. He's kind of scary. "Loving the new hair length. It's very school shooter chic," Jared continues. He's met with silence. "I was just kidding. It was a joke," he says slowly and deliberately.

"Yeah, no it was funny. I'm laughing can't you tell?" Connor says with the same false cheer. Suddenly, his gaze turns to ice. "Was I not laughing hard enough for you?"

"You're such a freak," Jared says, trying to stay calm, but running away as soon as he could. Connor turns his stare towards me. I make a sound that sounds halfway between a laugh and a strangled cough.

"What the fuck are you laughing at?" Connor says coldly.

"What?" I murmur.

"Stop fucking laughing at me!"

"I'm not."

"You think I'm a freak?"

"No I don't--"

"I'm not the freak!"

"But I wasn't--"

"You're the fucking freak!"

And then he shoved me right into the lockers. Well, I have two options here: a.) sing a song about how nobody sees me or b.) run after Connor. Seeing as this is a fanfiction and not a musical, I choose the latter option.

"Wait," I call after him. He turns around.

"I'm gay," he says. He looks away from the road for a second to look at my face an analyze my reaction. I start to laugh a tittering, unsteady laugh.

"Th-that's it?" I ask, nearly peeing myself with laughter.

"Yeah! That's is. Is that a problem?" Connor says. I can tell he's starting to get angry. "You know I thought I could trust you. I can't believe you're just laughing at me!" Connor yells.

"No, n-no, that's not w-why I'm laughing," I heave. He glares at me for a second before looking back at the road.

"So what is it? What's this 'real' reason you're laughing?" Connor says bitterly.