Lost In The Inbetween

Lost In The Inbetween (Part III)

"I'm gay," he says. He looks away from the road for a second to look at my face an analyze my reaction. I start to laugh a tittering, unsteady laugh.

"Th-that's it?" I ask, nearly peeing myself with laughter.

"Yeah! That's is. Is that a problem?" Connor says. I can tell he's starting to get angry. "You know I thought I could trust you. I can't believe you're just laughing at me!" Connor yells.

"No, n-no, that's not w-why I'm laughing," I heave. He glares at me for a second before looking back at the road.

"So what is it? What's this 'real' reason you're laughing?" Connor says bitterly.

"I-it's just, I thought you were going to s-say something bad, like you were doing meth or, uh, other stuff," I say, my laughter finally fading.

"So you-you don't think it's weird that I'm gay?" Connor says, his shoulders relaxing.

"Nope. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm bi, but I think sexuality is fluid and I don't like labels," I say. "Is there anyone you like?" I ask, trying to put aside my feelings to help someone who'll be my real, true friend.

Connor blushes furiously. "Um, yeah. There is actually."

My heart sinks in my chest.

"Hey, look! We're here!" Connor says, laughing nervously. I look out the window. In front of me, I see a wide expanse of grass and trees. The green grass is like rolling waves across the little hills all across the field. The sun is shining brightly, making the whole area seem even more vibrant and full of life. The trees, on the other hand, are not quite so healthy. Many of the trees were warped and bowed in from a lack of proper care.

"This is an apple orchard my parents used to take Zoe and me to when we were kids. It closed a while back. It was so much fun when we went here as a family and had picnics all the time. It was a lot easier than it is now. My parents didn't fight so much and Zoe and I actually got along," he pauses. "I'm sorry, I must seem so pathetic, whining about my family and all."

"No, no it's okay. I understand. "There's n-not a lot of people who you can talk to, are there?" I ask.

"No, I guess not," Connor says. He looks like he's on the verge of tears. Against my better judgment, I grab his hand and squeeze it.

"But, but I'm h-here for you now, aren't I?" I say. A close-lipped smile makes a faint appearance on Connor's face. He squeezes my hand back.

"I guess you are. Well, I think you'll be stuck with me for a while," Connor says. His smile cracks into a grin. His blue gaze lands on my lips and lingers there.

If only I could tell him, tell him how he's everything to me, I think. He's so beautiful when he smiles. His smile starts to fade off of his face. His lips are right in front of me. I could just lean my head a little bit forward and our lips would meet.

Then his phone buzzes.

He lets go of my hand and turns away to check his phone while I bite the cuff of my sleeve to try and gain my composure.

"Shit," Connor says.

"W-what's up?" I whisper. Now my sleeve is all wet. Gross.

"Zoe noticed that I took the car, so she's pissed. I'm telling her that we're here, but we might have to walk home. You don't live far from here, do you?" Connor asks.

"Nope. I don't know if my mom will be home in time to drop you off at home, so do you just want to spend the night?" I ask, wincing at how anxious I sound to get him alone in my house with me.

"Sure. It sounds better than going home," Connor shrugs. We get out of the car and walk into the orchard. "Follow me!" he shouts, running across the field to the tallest tree.

"I win," he says once I finally catch up to him. He stopped at the base of a giant apple tree, his chest heaving from sprinting. I put my hands on my knees, just trying to catch my breath. Then I feel a hand on my chin, pulling me up. Before I can even comprehend it, my lips are on Connor's. All too soon, the kiss ends. Connor looks shocked, even more than me.

"I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry," he says before running away.