Return Of The Devil (Kyman Fanfic) [[DISCONTINUED]]

Tweeks coffee

~ Kenny POV ~

After Kyle and Wendy left the house fell silent. No one really knew what to say.

"Well...um..it sure is good to have you back in south park , Eric!" Butters said , his baby blue eyes shining up at the brunette. Butters wasn't the brightest spark but The kid was cute as hell , I'll give him that.

"Eh. You'll regret saying that after you've lived with me for a while" he chuckled , getting up and going into the kitchen , to get food I guess.

"Hey Stan" I grin, remembering what had happened before they came. "What?"

"I got Cartman to admit" I saw his eyes glare at me , a grin on his face. "Really? How in god's name did you do that?"

"I have my ways" I laughed and he punched my arm , butters and tweek looked confused as hell. "Also. Kyle heard him confess" I gave a devilish grin.

"Oh...magawd!? Really!!!! " Stan exclaimed , scaring butters and tweek with the sudden outburst. "GAH!?!? OH GOD!! TOO MUCH PRESSURE , I CAN'T TAKE IT!?!!!!" Tweek had started freaking out. Great. Worst part is , Craig is nowhere to be seen.

"Whoops...uh...sorry tweek" Stan mumbled , as him and butters tried to calm him down , failing miserably. I just sat there laughing at there useless attempts , knowing that trying to calm the spaz down was impossible , unless you were a certain dude with the last name as tucker.

Cartman came back in with a twelve pack of irn brew and a large packet of crisps { Le writer is from le England , so chips are crisps lol }
For each of us and a dark substance in a cup. He sat down beside me , looking at tweek with slight concern on his face. Which freaked me out. Considering Cartman never cared enough to be concerned about anyone.

"Here tweek. Take nice , deep breaths. In and out , thatda boy. I have some coffee for ya , but you need to calm down ok?" Cartman edged forward , placing his hands on Tweeks shoulders , and looking him in the eye. Tweek looked back , and eventually started calming down to a point he could breath again. "I know I'm not as good as Craig when it comes to calming ya down , so here" he handed tweek a large mug of black coffee , which tweek started gulping down joyfully , though he was still twitching like hell so he spilt some of it on the pale pick carpet.

"Oh hamburgers how did you do that?" Butters gasped , amazed at how Cartman handled the situation. Me and Stan were also staring at him , astonished as well.

"Back in the loony bin I was in there were alot of spazzes , who if they got upset could kill you in an instant. You had to learn how to calm them down in order to survive. Glad I could still put it to use" he chuckled again , throwing us each a pack of crisps and a can.

"Wooow..so your like a therapist now?" Butters said innocently. "And a loony bin? Was bugs bunny there!?" He sounded excited. My lord he's so gullible. Cute but gullible. If you hadn't noticed , I have a crush on butters. But eh , that's for another story~

Cartman just facepalmed and threw a pillow at butters who dodged and laughed.

~ Kyle's POV ~

"Where have you two been , bros?" Pc principal looked pissed , he had his arms folded , as usual but his ice blue eyes glared us down.

"W-we...w-went to help s-someone f-from patriarchy?" Wendy lied , visual sweat glands forming on her face , showing that she clearly had a hard time lying to a teacher's face.

"Hmm...I'll buy it. I hope you checked there privilege. Now , get to lesson Wendy. Kyle. Come with me." He said , turning away and walking inside. Wendy looked at me with worry and muttered "I'll tell the others whee you are. Maybe they can help" I just nod and started walking after Pc principal.

We trudged through the halls in silence. I looked at the classrooms as we passed by , I saw Jimmy in one of them and he saw me. He gave the best worried face he could and gave a thumbs up , wishing me luck.

As we entered his office my stomach flipped. What if I screw Cartman's plan up!? What if I get killed by this dude..what if Cartman hates me after this.. oh wait..he already hates me... but..but still... I'll loose all my friends , if I fuck this up I'll end up a loner...i-i-

"Kyle, are you listening to me , bro?" Pcs voiced boomed against the four walls , although he tried to keep his voice soft , it still sounded scary.

"Y-y-yeah" I mumbled , I'd never really gotten into trouble since fourth grade , i was an almost perfect student. A...teachers pet...

"Well. Can you tell me why the security cameras picked up you abusing Clyde Donovan? You know you were being fatphobic right? You pc bro?" He said, staring me down , I could feel his eyes on me. Like daggers pressing into my skin.

"He-he..w-was .... Um..." Fuck..what would make this right in pcs eyes and not get Clyde into trouble...

"He was.. speaking bad about Cartman...so...so I stood up for him" I said, ashamed at myself for just saying the truth. If anyone else was here , they would of come up with something much better. Especially Cartman. The guys a genius with his words.

"Hm...look I know you might not want people hitting on your crush , Kyle. But just because your a flaming homosexual doesn't mean violence is the answer. Luckily , your gay. So I'll let you off with a warning and 20 dollars. Or I'd be considered both a Jew hater and someone who is homophobic." He handed me the money as I looked at him puzzled.

"Now , get to class before I beat your ass for being fatphobic." He demanded and I scurried out. I heard my phone vibrate so I took it out of my pocket. 3 messages.

C: dude , Wendy ran hippy and said pc had dragged you to his office. If he says your being fatphobic , reply by said he's being jew-phobic.

Bit late now...but thanks for the thought...I guess i giggled slightly , walking down the empty hallway.

Ke: heyyy , so. You heard Cartman right? And Stan told me about you. Soooo , when u gonna reveal it all eh? XD

Why the hell do I tell Stan everything... I messaged him back quickly and without much thought.

Ky: never. Because he's probably been told by Stan about me and knew I was awake. So he was pranking me.

I sighed , guessing that was probably the reason why and looked at my last message.

Cr: hi Kyle. Clyde is fine , just a broken arm and fractured wrist. You roughed him up good , aha. Anyways , he has to stay in here tonight and he'll be out by Tomorrow. He's not mad, but he wants to talk to ya.

This is Craig tucker by the way.

I read the message slowly. Why does Clyde wanna talk to me? We have never really spoken , since he's in Craig's gang and I'm in "the boys" -thats what the adults called us four for years , so we just let it stick- so what does he want. I reply , again without much thought.

Ky: k. Thanks for letting me know Craig. I'll see him later.

I sighed , now standing outside my classroom door. I glanced down at my phone.

12:34pm

It was half an hour until lunch , I turnt and walked out the school. I couldn't deal with being a good student at the moment. I continued walking , realising that this is the first day I'd ever willingly skipped a lesson at my own want. I used to skip with the other three , but that was years ago.

I walked along the path , hands in pockets , my firey red hair bouncing at every step I take. I must of left my hat at Cartman's. Eh I'll get it later , when we're around Stan's for the sleep over. I smile slightly , walking down to Starks pond. I stopped when I saw someone in only a thin shirt , which was awful in this weather , since you'd be freezing to death as soon as you stepped out your house in full gear, so I'm surprised this dude hand frozen yet. He was standing near the pond and staring into the sky as the snow fell. He looks so peaceful I smile ear to ear and walk up behind him , gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Cartman , what the hell are you doing?"