My I「Junhao」

2.8

Before we had even started our performance, Minghao and myself were nervous for our duo. The nerves we were feeling had been at a point where we couldn't even look at each other without practically freezing up where we were standing.

Our group performances sadly weren't as perfect as they had been when we practiced - Wonwoo dropping his mic and Hansol almost tripping when we did our song Mansae. And myself forgetting some of our choreography during Aju Nice, which really irritated me because I have never forgotten choreography on stage. The only good thing about when I forgot the choreography was that I was front and centre, so it may have looked like it was intended that I did something different.

We used suspenders in our choreography for Aju Nice, therefore our costuming for our group performances had to include the suspenders. We all ended up wearing black, white or coloured jeans (some of us wearing ripped jeans, others not) and a white button up shirt with black suspenders. For Mansae, the suspenders were hanging down and we had just slipped them up and adjusted our shirts so they were partially tucked in for Aju Nice.

After we had finished our group songs and the stage blacked out, Jihoon quickly took off his suspenders and purposefully threw them at Seungkwan who had finished next to him because Seungkwan was bugging him earlier. (To his advantage, Seungkwan couldn't shout out at him as the elastic and metal hit him in the face because we were on stage) He had fully tucked his shirt into his black jeans during the black out and a microphone stand was put in front of him.

Once the lights came back up and the audience saw who was left, there were cheers. As soon as Minghao and myself had left the stage, we stripped our shirts off, took off our suspenders and changed into very loose shirts that were the same colour as our ripped jeans. As Minghao picked up either side of the elastic which was sitting on a table side stage, I put on a black choker and afterwards took my side of the elastic which was handed to me by Minghao. We stood in one of the wings, elastic untangled and in hand and watched while we waited.

Watching Jihoon on stage — singing the song he had put so much effort into making — was breathtaking, and unbelievably, it helped soothe my nerves. Nobody had heard his song until now, with the exception of Soonyoung, so we were all silent, watching him in awe. His song was so beautiful and emotional that it gave me the chills and left me breathless.

It honestly didn't feel like a whole song had been performed when the black out at the end of Jihoon's solo occurred. I softly kissed Minghao on the lips, whispered good luck and turned my mic on before we walked on to the stage. We put the elastic on the floor in the centre of the stage, stepping a few steps away from our respective ends of the elastic and standing still, waiting for the lights to come back on and for our song to start.

Once the song started and we began walking around the stage, exactly as rehearsed as the stage lights slowly went back to its normal, intense brightness. When we moved in to the elastic to put it around our wrists, I had to fight a smile from appearing on my face due to the excitement, otherwise it would've ruined the rather serious mood of our song.

I slid the elastic onto my wrist with ease and watched for Minghao so we would move in time, standing up and turning so we were back to back. One step. Two steps. Three, four steps, I moved my hand so I was holding on to the elastic. Five steps, we both stopped and moved our hands to make the elastic tremble. Then we started dancing and I was the first to start singing.

I distinctly remember a few parts of our performance, the part I remembered easiest being when Minghao caressed my face, his face had gone from the intense look he always had on his face while dancing to the softest expression when he looked at me, it was as if I was the world to him.

I also remember that when we did the choreography for the chorus and faced the sides, I could see all of our friends looking on and smiling proudly at us. Our youngest friends were all looking at us impressed by our performance and Seungcheol shot me a grin and a thumbs up of encouragement when I looked towards him.

There was also a part where we had choreographed the two of us to be touching each other's hands as if there was a mirror between us and that was slightly changed mid dance. I wasn't the one to initiate the sudden hand holding however, Minghao had intertwined his fingers with mine and I cooperated and did the same. He had smiled softly at me before changing his hand so that it was how it should be positioned as he looked back at the audience.

When we finished, it took all of my willpower not to kiss Minghao while the lights were still on because I was so damn proud of him. Sure this song and choreography was ours, but he came up with the entire concept and I didn't know what our performance would be like if it weren't for him.

Once the lights were down, before the curtain closed, I dropped my side of the elastic and felt for Minghao's face with both my hands. Once I was certain that I had definitely found his face, I pulled him forwards and into a kiss. We weren't there for very long because Minghao had enough sense to remember we were on a stage with an audience in front of us and we pulled apart. We turned off the microphones and walked off the stage and into the wings, where our friends were waiting.

I wasn't sure if the audience were even cheering because during the performance I honestly couldn't hear anything but our song and afterwards I was too engrossed in Minghao. It was quite sad that I didn't even know if the audience liked our song because I couldn't hear anything due to my adrenaline from performing. However, if the hugs we were bombarded with once we got off stage and the tears that some of our friends were shedding were anything to go by, it must've been an amazing performance.

Yo I watched a single My I fancam for eight hours straight and had practically no sleep. Help. Also I've made a seventeen as vines video and it should be posted tomorrow. My YouTube channel is whywenjunhui please give the video love. (https://youtu.be/afqa49Z33Jg)

Also with what I wrote about Jun not hearing any cheering because of adrenaline, that's based off my own experience when I used to perform solos, basically when I perform, all I can hear is my song and I get off stage and it's not until like 5 minutes later when I realise that I don't know whether I heard cheers or not.

So yeah that's that. Sorry it's late I'm a fucking loser ily