My I「Junhao」

sc 0.1

TW: homophobic insults , mentions of violence , etc

Try to figure out what part of the story this is set in. This is (currently) the only chapter set in the same timeframe as the actual fic

Minghao P.O.V

Junhui was zoning out, again. I couldn't help but laugh to myself as I watched him smell his food and then start staring at something unknown. This boy really was the love of my life.

After he blinked and came back to the real world, I teased him and giggled when he pouted at me. We continued to eat in peace with very few moments where Junhui made horrible jokes with the sheer purpose of trying to make me laugh, as if he doesn't make me laugh effortlessly anyway.

When we were approximately halfway through our meals, one of the two phones I had in my pocket started to vibrate as I got an incoming call. I apologised to Junhui for interrupting the meal and ran to the bathrooms to answer the call.

I pulled out the phone with perfect timing before the call was missed and didn't even get to check the caller ID. I began to speak, but upon hearing a familiar voice cut me off, I froze in fear.

It was my father.

The one person I never wanted to hear the voice of again.

Panicked, I pulled out the other phone that was in my pocket, and upon seeing that it was my own, I felt a chill run through my body. Somehow my father managed to get my mum's number, even though by she changed it way back when she divorced him.

"Hello my little fag son. I was hoping that your whore of a mother would answer, but that's okay, I can tell you some other things." my blood ran cold at that moment and I shivered upon hearing the voice of the person who traumatised me as a child. "You know... If I knew that you were going to turn out to be such a disappointment then I would've killed you back then to save me the trouble of having to deal with something like you now.

"Dancing, singing, wanting to be an idol. How girlish can you get? Or wait, is that why you do that? You do those things and like boys because you want to be a girl so badly." my breath hitched when he said about liking boys because I had no clue how he knew, I was too young for anything like that when I last saw him.

"Oh yes, I know about your little boyfriend. That's one of many things my new neighbor told me about you when he found out I was your father. Now boy, my helpful little neighbor told me you moved somewhere, so I'm telling you this, if I ever see you, I will stalk you back to where you live, kill you and your whore of a mother, maybe by slitting your throats, maybe by using a knife to carve truths into your bodies and watching you bleed out, whatever I feel like doing.

"Oh, maybe I should wait until your boy toy comes over and then torture you both, killing him right in front of your eyes for the extra effect. Maybe after that I should see if that theory that pineapple juice can dissolve a dead body is really true. And what I just said to you is not a threat. It's a promise. Mark my words, I will do what I should've done to you ages ago."

The line went dead and after putting the phone away, I put my face in my hands and sobbed. I was terrified that he would find us and hurt Jun. I didn't want Jun to get caught in my family's past because he knew just how terrified of everything I was because of him. I haven't seen my father since I was 3 but all I knew was that I felt as terrified of him now as I was back then.

I rubbed at my eyes, trying to stop myself from crying any more, and after I did stop crying, I washed my face even though it did nothing to stop my cheeks from being flushed and my eyes being red and puffy.

When I went back out, I was worried that Junhui would notice that I was not being myself because he's always over-cautious of everything that happens with me, but even if he did notice that something was wrong, he didn't say anything to me about it. I couldn't help but feel guilty for what I was about to do, but I couldn't let what my father 'promised' would happen actually happen because I would never forgive myself if he got hurt because of me.

After we finished eating our food, I took his hand and walked out of the restaurant, we walked endlessly for a while, just enjoying each other's company (and so we could walk off all that food we had just eaten) before we stopped in a park, intending to sit on a bench by the playground. He instantly gravitated over to the swing set so I followed him and sat down on the swing next to him. It was silent for a while, he was looking up at the sky while I was looking at him, and then I broke the silence with that dreaded statement.

"I don't think we should date anymore. We're probably better suited as just best friends." I could see Junhui looking at me out of the corner of his eye and cursed under my breath upon seeing the tears in his eyes. He looked away to wipe the tears from his eyes before turning to look at me. I didn't want to look at him, I hated how I felt so threatened by a man who I hadn't seen since I was four. He wouldn't know what I looked like, yet I was afraid that somehow he would find us, that he would somehow know what I looked like, even after all this time.

"Why so suddenly? We have been happy since we got together. What changed so suddenly for you to say that?" He asked, voice breathy as he started to panic. The tears were back in his eyes again. All I wanted to do was say sike, then wipe his tears away and laugh off the pain that we were both feeling. I hated how Junhui was the one suffering because of my own personal problems.

"Y-you did nothing wrong, don't blame yourself. I just... I just thought, maybe we are better off as friends? I don't know, I'm just questioning myself and I don't want to get you involved in my problems because we're dating." I stuttered as I spoke, I hated being a disappointment to him. Junhui laughed after I said that, but there was no warmth, no happiness, it was a cold, harsh sound, and I hated myself for making him unhappy. He spoke not long after that, "Dating me doesn't mean anything. I'd still get involved with whatever it is because you're my damn best friend." I knew it was true, but I also knew that he would be less likely to be threatened if he was simply my friend, not my boyfriend.

I abruptly stood up, I couldn't deal with this any longer. "I... I'm sorry. It's too late now. I understand if you never want to talk to me again. I'll leave. I'm sorry." I bowed and stiffly walked away. As I made my way home, tears started cascading from my eyes and I brought my phone out. With my eyes blurry from the tears, I called the last person I had messaged, knowing that I couldn't trust myself to try to find his contact.

"Minghao? What's wrong?" His deep voice sounded through my phone speaker, "Aren't you meant to be with Junhui right now?" Hearing his name made me burst into sobs again. "Oh my... I'll come over to yours soon, stay safe until hyung gets over, and don't do anything irrational, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, Wonwoo-hyung." I practically whispered. He hung up soon after that and I put my phone away and continued on my long, lonely walk home.

Uhhh sorta shitty especially at the end but happy 1 year anniversary for the start of this fic y'all 💖💖

For any of you who have been here from the start, thank you so much for supporting this I love y'all uwu

Also I know I haven't posted the epilogue yet, it's a long one and it's sorta complex soooooo yeah