Muted

Chapter 28

The days after the 'incident' were the worst. Ætius was avoiding me at all costs. He wouldn't come near me at all, and I had no clue why. The last time he talked to me was before I had a panic attack.

Was that why he wouldn't talk to me? Was he ashamed of me? Disappointed? Did he not want me anymore after finding out my fear of water?

Or was he ashamed of himself? Was he annoyed at himself by what he did? Even though there was nothing to be angry about?

Was that even the reason?

So many questions and yet no answers.

It wasn't like it wasn't bothering him either. He looked like a mess. All his clothes were torn and shredded, barely hanging of his shoulders. His hair was messed and scruffy, even more so that it's usual form. And his eyes were tired and dreary, and a colour of raw meat.

All I wanted to do was kiss his sad face away, but whatever move I made towards him would send him running in the opposite direction.

This carried on for weeks on end of constant torture of being away from him. I would cry myself to sleep most nights, hating the empty feeling that he had left. Grace (my wolf) tried to help me through it all but I know she was just as hurt as me. I put on a façade in front of my friends, though I doubt calling them friends recently.

They don't know me at all, and they ignore me whenever I'm with them. Most of the girls are whores, but I'd never say that to their faces. The thought alone is horrible enough.

See, being away from Æ is bringing out such a dark side of me I never knew existed. I'm never this horrible! Since when would I call another girl a whore? What if I go to far and end up swearing? I don't curse!

A month went by and my whole body was numb. Whatever I did, I did it with no emotion on my face. I felt nothing, nothing at all. Only pain and the gap in my heart.

And Æ keeps getting worse as well. Everyday he looks closer to death, but the rest of the pack love it. He's so upset and angry all the time that he puts it all into his beta duties, making him the best beta we've ever had.

Which is great, but is it too much to ask for my mate back aswell?

The only part which bothers everyone else, is his howling. He cries out at night in pain and tears at his walls, wrecking his whole room.

I've been in there a few times looking for him and it looks worse than you can imagine.

The bed isn't even identifiable any more. It's scattered across the room, ripped and covered in claw marks. So are the walls too. You'd think a whole pack had been in there by how wrecked it is. Everything's falling apart.

But nobody dares to question him. Not even Michael steps out of line with this new Æ as beta. His dark eyes and dangerous ego keeps everyone in order.

Everyone's seen what he was capable of to our old pack warrior. And that was when Æ was still the skinny broken shell. Now he conceals all of his pain and anger, yet somehow shows some to keep people at a difference.

It's scary!

I think it was around 8 or 9 weeks after the incident when I started having weird day dreams.

It was me and Æ. Just me and Æ. And it would be like we were still together. Like nothing ever happened.

And on more than one occasion it got a little above PG-13.

And then I would wake up, and see Æ looking right back at me.

Then the heat kicked in.

The pain from being away com Æ was too much for Grace. She forced us both into heat, in hopes that Æ would come back.