By: DamnCasifer aka Watson
“Dude, we are not asking the dragon for directions!”
“Aw, c’mon Kirn, why not?!”
“Dorian, the last time I let you ask someone for directions, we ended up sinking Atlantis!”
“That wasn’t all my fault!”
“We wouldn’t have ended up there if you had just let me ask! But nooooo, you swore you could speak Nereid, and YOU are the one who mistook “Atlantis” as “Athens”!”
“So, my recollection of their language wasn’t as good as I had thought. We still had a good time!”
“We spent the next 300 years in hiding from them and the Greeks! If you consider that “fun”, you need to go to a mental institute!”
“Oh, don’t be so mean, Kir. You know you had fun.”
“It doesn’t matter anyways, Dori. We are not asking a sleeping dragon in the middle of the woods. I want to have a nice, relaxing vacation without the near-death activities. No crazy adventures, no possible destruction of entire empires- nothing! I am not doing this again!”
“Well, you can sit here and use that tattered old map of yours then. I’m going to go ask it.”
“DORIAN! WAIT!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“See! I told you it wouldn’t be that bad! We even got some things to trade in the market!”
“Dorian, you nearly DIED! How can you say that wasn’t all that bad?!”
“I didn’t die; therefore, it wasn’t all that bad.”
“Your thought process concerns me. You're lucky I followed you, otherwise you’d’ve been lunch! What was even going through your head when you walked up and booped the dragon, which happened to actually be a DRAKON, on the nose?!”
“Is that a rhetorical question or-”
“DORIAN!”
“Alright, no need to shout…..sheesh. Anyways, it doesn’t matter. At least I got directions!”
“Wait, really? How?”
“Ah, one of the drakon’s last meals happened to have a map. It’s an updated version too, so you can get rid of that old thing of yours.”
“No way! This is an antique!”
“Dude, it’s nearly a thousand years old. It’s totally not accurate anymore.”
“It’s two thousand years old, thank you, and limited edition too! It has the entire Greek Empire on it! Also, I had it signed personally by the mapmaker!”
“Kir, all of the maps back then were signed.”
“It’s actually back now, but whatever. I’m not getting rid of it. It’s the only one left.
All the rest were burned.”
“Hm, I wonder why…”
“Don’t get snarky with me. Let’s just get going before we run into more trouble. Which way?”
“South. You got the compass?”
“No...I thought you had it.”
“Nope. I gave it to you last.”
“Oh….well….I think it may be back in 2010.”
“You’ve got to be joking.”
“….I wish I was. Did you happen to see a compass back there?”
“Nope. I think the drakon ate it.”
“Today is going to be a very, very long day.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Oh, finally! There’s a village!”
“See Kir, I told you we were going the right way!”
“Well excuse me for doubting you! You were using MOSS as a compass!”
“Kirn, moss grows on the northern side of trees. Literally everyone knows this!”
“You know what: Fight me! Let’s just get down there. We’ve spent a week in these woods. One more day, and we’d’ve been dryads.”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic! You’re not special enough for that. You would have probably become something more basic, like a fern.”
“Hey!”
~~~~~~~~~
“Hello! Excuse me- Oh, alright; thanks anyways!”
“Dori, that’s the 17th person you’ve tried to ask for help. How about you take a break so we can figure everything out?”
“No! Someone’s bound to- Oh, hey! Pardon- No? Oh okay, have a nice day!”
“You do know they are Italian, right? You’re speaking English.…..Can you even speak Italian?”
“Uhm……no?”
“What do you mean “no”?! You were the one in charge of learning the Latin-based languages! What did you learn over all these years?!”
“Well, I can speak Russian, Chinese, Korean, Dragon not Drakon, Indonesian, English obviously, Gryffic, a little Dwarvish and Nereid….Ooh, and Spanish!”
“Dorian! I was supposed to learn the Asian languages!”
“Well, Gryffic is a bit like Chinese and Dragon is like Indonesian, so I just learned those too. I thought I could just get by with Spanish, since they look the same.”
“You dolt! Why are we even vacationing here if neither one of us can speak the language?!”
“Because I thought you’d want to see Pompeii’s eruption! I know how much you like your tragic historical events!”
“......You are soooooooo lucky I want to see that, otherwise you’d be dead.”
“Immortals can’t kill other immortals, remember? Also, you love me and you know it.”
“Sure Dori, keep telling yourself that. Anyways, how about we try again, huh? I don’t want to miss the eruption!”
“Well, it’d probably be a bad time to tell you that I got the time period wrong again, wouldn’t it?”
“Hm??”
“Nothing! Just trying to remember something! Continue on!”
~~~~End~~~~
