Thoughts

I've fucked myself over
So many times
Deliberately sabotaged the best things in my life
Brought about
Destructions
Reconstructions
Attempts to fix it
My life falls apart
Then is put back together
New relationships
Phases
Friends
Family
Starting new things
Rebuilding the old
Only to wreck it again
Only to get wrecked again
Positive
Negative
Nothing changes
But everything does
It's a loop
It's inescapable
I'm trapped
I fixed everything
Not done being built
But almost there
I don't like to wait
I don't like to hurt people
I don't like any of this
But it's a loop
It cuts off connections and creates new ones
I miss them
I can't escape
So
I guess it's time
Let's mess shit up again