Vent/Rant/diary/journal/whatever book

12.26.2017

Okay so I haven't done this in such a long time I don't really know where to start with it. I'm pretty sure no one reads this anymore, and I don't blame you, I wouldn't either. But because of that I feel safe enough to open up just a tiny bit about what's been going on lately.

So, I haven't really felt that great for the past year or something. I've felt like every day has just been an act to be honest. I've made two new friends over the past year, and some others as well but I won't mention them. The first one who I befriended, has been amazing. She's been there for me even when I didn't want her to be. She's always listened and tried to help as much as she could. She rarely asks for anything in return. I'm so incredibly lucky to have her as a friend.

Then the other one. She's also amazing. I love her as well. But with her it's been me who's tried to help. I've done everything the best I could. And I should've done more, I really should've but for some reason I didn't. I'm really proud of her. But every day I feel like soon I won't hear from her anymore. So now I just try to talk to her every day. To make sure she's still with me. And I hope that I'll still hear from her after years have gone by.

Some things have occurred to me in the past few months that I thought would never happen. I got diagnosed with depression. Not really something I looked forward to. I never thought I'd be the person who's depressed. I also got diagnosed with some temperament issues. That I wasn't surprised of.

I don't really know what I was thinking when I decided it'd be a good idea to write about all of this because obviously it isn't, and normally I'm not the kind of person to open up about anything. 

I guess ultimately what I want to say is that if you think you have depression, or you're self harming, or anything, please try and get help. Even if it's not from a professional, but from a friend. A friend whom you can trust. Someone who wont just say "well if you want to, you can just go ahead and do it". That's not good. I want you to feel better. To feel like you can open up to your friend or to your therapist.
You can even come talk to me if you want to, if you happen to read this. I won't mind and I'm used to just listening.

I guess that's pretty much it. Just thought to inform you about some things. Nothing else for me to say anymore.