Try-Hard, Sin Harder

23. Lukas

 "Luke, you can't keep calling me 'Eomma'." 

 My nephew looked up at me, his dark blue eyes shining with confusion. "Why not?" 

 "Because I'm not your mother, I'm your aunt, and people will start getting the wrong idea," I told him. 

"But you're like my Eomma," he countered. "You cook and clean and play with me and take me places and buy me stuff." 

 Sighing, I crouched down beside him and gave his tiny hand a gentle squeeze. "You already have an Eomma, Lukas. She may not be with us, but she will always be here." I pointed towards his heart. 

 "Will I ever get to see her?" he asked. 

 "Hopefully not for a long time." 

 I stood up, and walked him over to a nearby bench. Taking a seat on the end, I placed my purse beside me as Lukas crawled on to my lap. He rested his head on my chest, and I cradled his back with my arm to keep him from rolling back and smacking his head against the metal bar. Tucking his knees to his chest, he asked, "What was she like?" 

I smiled, and stroked his soft brown hair. "I only met her twice, so I can't tell you much," I said. "The first time I met her was at your parents' engagement party. I don't think I have ever seen your father so happy before. He had a reason, too. Your mother was breathtakingly beautiful, and so graceful and kind." I looked down at him. "You have her eyes; blue like a deep sea and framed with dark, bold lashes. But unlike you, her hair was the colour of a crackling flame. In a way, it matched her personality. She was feisty and full of confidence, a complete opposite to my brother. But, they made it work.

 "The second time I met her was when she went into labour with you," I continued. "When I entered the hospital room, I almost didn't recognize her. She had gotten so thin, and looked so tired. Her curls of flame had died out and fell limply around her shoulders." I looked up to the sky, blinking away tears. "She had Preeclampsia, which caused some complications during your birth. A few minutes after you were born, she started having a seizure, and hit her head off of one of the medical equipment. Another doctor came in to try and help, but your mother didn't have any strength left. She passed away right before us." 

 Lukas didn't cry. He didn't know her, but he wanted to. "Was Appa there?" 

 I nodded. "He was holding you when she left. When I looked over to him, I saw his heart shatter. He loved her so much, and she meant the world to him. Losing Emma was like losing a part of himself. I had to walk over and take you from him, otherwise he would have dropped you. He just crumpled to the ground and began sobbing. I've never heard him cry so hard." Wiping away my tears, I placed a kiss on his cheek. "Your father doesn't avoid you because he doesn't love you, Luke. He doesn't want to see you because he loves you so much. You look so much like your eomma that it hurts." 

 "Do you think Appa misses her?" 

 "I know he does. I haven't seen him smile since," I said. 

 Lukas fiddled with his fingers. "I've never seen him smile." 

 I sighed. "I know." 

 Glancing up at the sky, I watched as two birds hovered amongst the clouds. 

 "Someday you will." 

 "So, his mother's gone?" 

 I nodded. "That's the reason the two of us are so close. He's my brother, my best friend's son, and I'm the closest thing he has to a mother."