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Chapter Seven - Tell Me a Lie

The room spun and Niall tried to focus his eyes forward though his heart was beating out of his chest, causing him to feel lightheaded and dizzy. Of all the answers he had imagined, this was not one of them. This was worse than all of them combined, worse than every scenario he’d created in his head, worse even than her just deciding she’d had enough. Now he wished for any of the other reasons. Now he wished it had, in fact, been something he’d done or something he hadn’t. Just something. But not someone.

His stunned silence caused Bre to look down at her hands.

“I’m sorry, I.. I feel terrible.” She spoke quietly. His eyes narrowed as she sighed regretfully. 

“Terrible? You feel terrible..” He replied in hurt, uncharacteristic anger starting to bubble up.

How could she have done this? They were perfect-- she was perfect-- how could this have happened? Was he just not enough? He felt betrayed. The one person he trusted most hadn’t been trustworthy at all. How could this have happened? How could he have been so stupid? What was she thinking??

“How long?” He asked shortly, unable to say more amidst his swirling thoughts, but she knew what he’d meant.

She paused. “Two months.”

Niall ran a hand through his hair and tried to rationally process the shocking information. The trip to his family’s house, the dinner at the pier, the trip to London, her birthday.. had it really all been fake? How could he have been so blind? And all the weekends she had stayed in for homework.. she hadn’t been doing homework, had she… she’d been with him. Him. Why was he so much better? Hadn’t Niall given her everything, been there for her, listened to her late night rambles and early morning rants and silly giggles at their favorite TV show? Or maybe she had lied about that too.. maybe she didn’t even like the same shows as him. How could he know anymore? Devastation began to set in and he thought about her soft face and twinkling eyes and laughing smile. So many times he had thought he was the reason for that smile, but now he wasn’t so sure. But then-- what of her shining personality and quirky disposition and fun-loving outlook on life? No.. with all of those wonderful things it couldn’t be her fault. She couldn’t have done something like this. She was pure through and through, it must have been him that made her lose interest. She was still perfect, she had to be. He knew she was.

“Niall..” She muttered, concerned at his silence. He looked up again, his full, wet eyes meeting hers, and his head softly shaking. His voice was weak now, sudden anger replaced with a hollowness that made her uncomfortable.

“Why did you do it? Why him? Why now?” He whispered, his tone shaking.

“Niall, I don’t know, I-- I didn’t mean for it to happen.” Her face was troubled as she began to reach for his arm, but he pulled his skin from under the touch of her fingers. He didn’t think he could bear to feel her knowing that she wasn’t his, knowing what she’d done. “Niall..”

Her voice felt like poison to his ears-- poison coated in the sweetest candy. In that moment he sort of just wished she’d just made up something-- anything-- and kept it all a secret. Maybe she had been right not to tell him at first. He thought maybe not knowing would be easier than the truth. But, then again.. she’d told him enough lies. Maybe it was time for her to tell him the truth for once.

Slowly he walked back to his dorm. Every step felt like it might cause his last heart beat, but he kept walking anyway. He worked to process the conversation, but he was so stunned he didn’t think he could quite yet. His mind was exhausted, his emotions wiped out. The questions swirling around in his head started to fade as his feelings began to numb. It felt better to not care at all, even if just for a moment. Deep down he knew his heart was ravished and torn, fragmented and destroyed. But he needed relief, and the only way he could get it was to feel nothing.

When he got back to his dorm, Harry wasn’t there. He sort of hoped he would be so he wouldn’t be left alone to his thoughts. It always seemed they were his worst enemies at times like these. Instead, he figured it was a good time to call his older brother since he hadn’t talked to him in a week.

The phone rang as Niall slumped onto his bed. He hoped his brother was free because he’d rather tell him about Bre in person and knock back a couple of beers over a game of football than wallow in self pity over the phone. Besides the fact that he just needed to get out.

A voice spoke on the other end. “Hello?”

“Liam?”

“Hey bro, how are you?” Liam chirped, unaware of Niall’s fragility.

“Not good, Liam. I saw Bre.” Niall’s voice was quiet.

“She agreed to talk to you?” Liam asked, concerned.

“Yeah, but.. mate, are you free? Can I come over?”

Liam paused for a moment, clearly conflicted. “I really wish I was, but I have a date tonight and she’s literally about to arrive any minute. Can we hang this weekend?”

Niall sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah.. yeah, it’s fine. I’ll let you go.”

“Hang in there, bro.” Liam’s voice softened.

Niall wasn’t able to say anything else before hanging up the phone. In his mind he understood Liam already had plans, but his emotions were so topsy-turvy that everything felt like a big deal. He fell back onto his bed and let his phone fall to his side. What did it matter, anyway? He wouldn’t be good company, so there was no use in ruining Liam’s night, especially since he had a date. He couldn’t deny that it was a little extra painful that the reason Liam couldn’t hang out was because of that. Why was it that whenever he was in heartache everyone else seemed to be blissfully falling in love? He hated that.

“Niall?” Harry spoke up and flipped on the lights as he entered the dorm room. Niall blinked his eyes at the bright light and raised his head.

“Yeah?” He mumbled, his upset thoughts clouding his switch back to reality.

“Oh good, you’re back. Thought you might need some of these.” Harry said and swung a case of beers up on his bed. The bottles clanked as the bed shook. “Also I rented this dumb new action movie and ordered pizza because is it just me or are we starving?” Harry’s silly grin made Niall sit up on his elbows.

“Pizza?” He repeated.

“Yeah, should be here in half an hour. Think we have enough time to make a run for popcorn?”

Though Niall’s face probably didn’t show it, a glimmer of happiness poked its way into his heart. Maybe he didn’t have Bre, but he still had Haz. Best friends are good that way.

“Yeah, mate, at least we can try.” Niall nodded and Harry looked satisfied. With that comment he knew he’d pricked Niall’s negativity.

“Alright, well stop laying around and let’s go then.” He whined, just like always.

That was one of the things Niall sort of appreciated about him. Yeah, they were guys and didn’t outright say meaningful things most times, but Harry knew him well enough to know what he’d need and when he’d need it, without having to come out and say, “Hey, man, I’m sorry and let’s talk about it.” Harry didn’t have to say a thing more than “pizza” and Niall just knew. Harry cared and Harry understood. And no matter what girls might come and go, Harry’d always be there for him, just like he’d always be there for Harry.