The next morning, I escaped my family to go eat breakfast at a place in Koreatown. It felt good to be away from them, but it didn't feel good to be alone. I still missed Rocky. Last night, he didn't answer his phone or text me back. Even though I've annoyed Alexis enough with my problems, I'm going to do it again. While I waited for my food, I shot her a quick text:
"Hey Lex, what's up?"
Alexis: "just woke up. About to eat. U?"
Me: "Same. Getting breakfast in Koreatown."
Alexis: "That's cool."
I was about to start putting my concern to words, but I hesitated. I wasn't sure how to do it without sounding annoying. Finally, I typed.
Me: "first of all, sorry to keep annoying u with this but it's Rocky again."
Alexis: "Brooke Cammie Minyard! Idk why u keep worrying about annoying me with this! I've lived with u for like a year now and u don't bother me at all. U could still be going on about this in 4 years and SINCE IM A GOOD FRIEND I WILL LISTEN CUZ I CARE."
Me: "I don't deserve u."
Alexis: "awe I love u Brooke. Now spill."
Me: "So last night, when I said I would talk to Rocky, I texted him a few times and he didn't reply, and called but no answer."
Alexis: "Ohhh you're worried about him?"
Me: "Kinda...."Alexis: "um, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Me: "Lex, I never know what you're thinking."
Alexis: "Good point. Then u just chill and let me worry about this. K?"
Me: "what?"
Alexis: "just do it. Trust me."
Me: "........."
Alexis: "gtg. Enjoy your pancakes."
"Um, okay?" I whispered out loud to myself. I was not-so-secretly very concerned about what she was thinking. I sighed, rolled my eyes, and slid my phone back in my pocket.
Right as I did, my food was placed in front of me. For some reason, seeing it sent a chill through my body--like an instinct reacting to it. Whatever, I thought while stabbing the pancakes with my fork.
*****
Later, I found myself wandering around Soho when Alexis finally replied. Some of me was scared to read that text.
Alexis: "Guess what I just found."
Me: "Do I want to know?"
Alexis: "I'm pretty sure ya do."
Me: "Just tell me."
Alexis: "Well u aren't the only one who decided to take a trip to Korea this morning. Your boy went to Seoul to visit Anna."
I don't want your body but I hate to think about you with somebody else...
I stared at the message in disbelief. Of course he went to see her, I thought. I shot Alexis a quick reply,
Me: "How do u know this?"
Alexis: "He's on her Insta."
The last text came with a screenshot from Anna's profile. Sure enough, there was a picture of them walking down the street in South Korea, holding hands.
I had nothing to say. Nothing much to feel either. I could only distract myself from it for so long. Then the emotions would hit again. And the vicious cycle of me being happy for them for a while, then I start to miss Rocky again.
I wish I had a hand to hold; someone to cuddle with while watching Netflix, send me cute texts, constantly tell me I'm loved....
Maybe that's what I could use right now: another guy to remind me that Rocky isn't the only man in the world. Maybe mingling once I get back to LA would be good for me.
Pondering about the idea took me back to another memory of our past relationship:
Rocky and I were on a double date with Alexis, and her ex-boyfriend, Dean, at the beach, playing volleyball—aggressively. The game quickly evolved into rounds of "Who-can-hit-the-other-team-hardest-with-the-ball." As the four of us spiked at each other with the intention of injuring ourselves, our adventurous moods increased. Once we were done, we made our way back to me and Lex's place, where we started a four-way make-out session. The idea of switching partners came up, and at first, it sounded like fun. Until I felt Dean's hands sliding under my shirt and up my back and he went for a kiss. My eyes cracked open, revealing his face about to connect with mine, then I realized exactly what I was doing. I couldn't do this. I couldn't make-out with someone I didn't really love. It didn't feel right. "Stop...stop....." I gasped. I glanced over at my best friend, who was openly tongue-kissing my boyfriend, and completely unfazed by it. "I can't do this..." I confessed. The two pulled away from each other and peeked at me. "It just doesn't feel right.." I continued.
It was so difficult to be in the arms of someone else, and even harder to watch the one I did love be without me.....
Now, almost a year later, I still feel the same pain.
YOU ARE READING
Somebody Else - (RML fanfic)
Fanfiction[Ongoing - slow updates] "Our love has gone cold, your intertwining your soul with somebody else....." -The 1975 "Somebody Else"