Our love has gone cold, you're intertwining your soul with somebody else..
Alexis hadn't brought it up for the next three days. Seemingly, the only things we talked about were food and plans for each day. But never once did she bring up Rocky. All I wanted was to see him--bad. I wanted to hug him so tight that it warmed my heart from the outside. I wanted to laugh with him the way we used to. I wanted to feel his soft lips press against mine one last time. But something in my head kept saying to wait. I'll see him soon. Whenever "soon" is.
A few times, I was tempted to text him just so I could talk to him. It didn't matter what about, I just felt the need to know he hadn't forgotten I existed. Don't do it, Brooke, I thought while eyeing my phone. Don't do it.
I left the room to avoid temptation. I made my way to the couch and threw myself down while still debating about wether I should text him or not. I figured there's nothing wrong with asking how a person's vacation was is perfectly normal, but doing it so soon would make me look desperate--even though somewhere deep down, I know I am.
"Hey Brooke," Alexis said while entering my room, startling me. "Aren't you going back to New York sometime soon?" She asked. I calmed my nerves from the scare. "Yeah, in like, June to see my family. Why?" She shrugged. "I think you mentioned something about it a while ago, but we never talked about it."
"That sounds right," I agreed while nodding."Okay, this is getting awkward," she quickly confessed.
"What is?" I questioned.
"Us! It's like I want to talk to you, but I'm scared if I say the wrong thing, then it'll remind you of 'you-know-who.' Listen, Brooke, I want to talk to you, but I don't want you to shut me out. This is bothering you. I can see it in your eyes," she ranted. I said nothing. She sighed at my silence. "Remember that what your feeling is a human emotion. It's normal to be in love and be depressed about it. I promise, you're not the only person who feels this way.""Alexis...." I groaned. "I really want to talk to him."
"Then do it. There's nothing wrong with that."
"Yeah, but I don't want to look desperate," I replied quickly. She inhaled deeply. "Again, there's nothing wrong with that. It's normal to ask how someone's vacation was."
"But so soon?""It's been three days!" She snapped. "Just do it. He's still your friend. He won't think it's weird. Also, he most likely remembers you as that great person who always cares about her friends. By the way, it might make him feel good to know he can talk to you about his girl," she advised. She snatched my phone from off the bed and handed it to me. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to talk to someone," she repeated.
"Fine, but later," I groaned. Alexis rolled her eyes jokingly and left me alone. Maybe I'm so tense about this because I don't want to say the wrong thing and lose him forever. Luckily, I didn't have to. He texted me.
"Anna showed me your comment. Thanks! I see your positivity hasn't changed :)"
I replied with:
"Np! I hope we can talk sometime soon. I want to hear about your trip."Way to get strait to the point, Brooke, I thought. A part of me thought he was still leading me on. But why would he do that? I've known him forever, and he's not the cheating type. What if he knows I still like him? I wondered. I couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
He answered:
"Sure. Coffee tomorrow?"Me:
"Sounds good."Well, my wish was granted. I get to see him again. But now I know his little secret. The reason for the "A". The reason he smirked when talking about the tour. The reason he hung out with me, but never said he still liked me. I felt like I should've seen this coming sooner, but stupidly, I didn't. Maybe I did, but refused to admit it to myself.
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Somebody Else - (RML fanfic)
Fanfic[Ongoing - slow updates] "Our love has gone cold, your intertwining your soul with somebody else....." -The 1975 "Somebody Else"