Iplier House

Christmas with the Egos

Wilford leaned in the doorway of the room, clearing his throat to gain Darkiplier's attention. Dark casually glanced over his shoulder, watching the man. "Thought I'd let you know, ol' Wilford here got King a job."

"King?" Dark shifted and turned to face him. "King of the squirrels? You got him a job? How?"

With a grin, Wilford shrugged. "I'm amazing. I got one too by the way."

Dark furrowed his brow. "You... already had a job."

"I know."" Wilford shrugged. "This one's temporary! Interviews will wait!"

After watching him for several minutes, Dark accepted that Wilford wasn't going to offer anymore information and sighed. "Will, what is this job?"

Wilford wiggled his mustache with a smile. "Weeeeeell, King's going be an elf."

"An elf?" Dark's aura flashed around him. "And you?"

"Just call me Wilford Clause!" Wilford giggled.

"No." Dark grunted. "This will not end well. You cannot be Saint Nicholas."

"Just a mall Santa!" Wilford waved his arms, before turning and heading off down the hall.

Dark stood, following after him calmly, though his aura flickered violently through several small shell cracks. "Will! This conversation has not ended."

Wilford shrugged. "I don't have to take that shit. I already have the job!"

"You know I respect you, but do you really think you have the patience to deal with children all day?" Dark sighed, watching as Wilford settled himself in an arm chair.

"I have patience for the moms who will bring them." Wilford smiled.

"Will... you are not going to be able to hit on their mother's...." Dark sighed.

"Of course I will, I have an elf wing man." Wilford smirked.

"Dark! Dark! Dark!"

With a groan, Dark glanced at the man in a cape and crown who had come running into the room. "Yes, King?"

"I have a job! I'm going to be king of the squirrel elves!" King grinned excitedly.

Dark stared at him a moment before glancing at Wilford. "You are in way over your head."

"Just watch me." Wilford kicked his feet up on the couch and Dark sighed, heading back to his desk to return to what he had been working on. After a few hours, he got up, stretching. As he walked through the living room, he stopped dead and turned to watch the scene unfolding.

Googleplier was standing in the corner as Wilford looped Christmas lights around him. "I am only saying that this is not the tradition." Google explained.

"I can't be bothered to cut down a tree. Where's your Christmas spirit?" Wilford grinned.

"The spirit of Christmas is depression." Googleplier stated calmly.

Wilford dropped the string of lights and stepped back, tapping his fingers on his chin. "Depression, you say?"

"Christmas is the time of year that the most people are depressed." Google explained. "Highest suicide rates as well."

"Ah." Wilford nodded. "Oh, I know how to fix this!" He grinned, rushing back to shopping bags on the couch.

"You are going to fix Christmas depression?" Dark asked curiously, his aura glowing mostly blue around him.

"What? No." Wilford chuckled, taking a line of garland and wrapped it around Google's mouth. "There."

"He moves his mouth for effect." Dark pointed out. "His speakers are in his neck." And with that, he headed into the kitchen.