Kirk's Daughter

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"You're lying to me, Bones, and it's not funny." I went to walk past him, but he stopped me.

"Spock's in there, and it's not a pretty sight. I think you should wait."

"She's my daughter, McCoy!"

He looked me in the eyes. "Jim, you don't want to go in right now."

I nodded in defeat and he left. I just looked through the window in the door and saw how right he was. Spock didn't care anymore about holding in his emotions. He had seen too much death and near-death, and he didn't have any reason to act as if he didn't care. He was sobbing as he knelt by her bed, and his mouth was open in a scream. I guess the doors were soundproof.

Well I didn't care either. I walked in and looked at her pale face and still chest, but I couldn't just sit there and look at her. I walked out and sat in the hall. I wasn't sad, or angry, or confused. I was numb.

*Third Person* (Because, let's face it, it's impossible to do anything in a Vulcan's POV)

Spock tried to let out his emotions, but nothing helped. He couldn't express the deep sorrow he felt. He had loved Fallon. He couldn't bare the thought that she was dead.

Deciding that Fallon Kirk would not die, he ran to the piles of glass bottles and found one in the very back with a faded label that was almost empty: Khan's blood.

He pulled out a needle and sucked up everything that was left. There could not be enough here, he thought. Either way, he took it and put it into the dead skin right above Fallon's heart.

His chest ached and he felt the need to scream and run back to the Klingon ship just to kill that Godmer Nith. He knew it was illogical and unwise though, so stayed. His sobs didn't leave the walls, but everyone who knew that she was dead knew not to come in unless they wanted to see Spock crying.

Almost ten minutes later he stood and composed himself as best he could before walking out to find Kirk on the ground just outside. "Because of the trip emotionally compromising me," Kirk said to him, "I resign. You pick your first officer."

"While that does seem the most logical option in the given situation, I believe it would be best for you to remain captain. I cannot make any wiser choices than you at the moment."

Kirk nodded and stood. "What are we doing now?"

"I believe it would be best to return to earth for repairs and a proper funeral." Spock almost got choked up as he finished his sentence and tried to bury his emotions like he'd done so many times before, but it was impossible. Feelings this strong couldn't be suppressed.

Kirk nodded and walked to the bridge, followed by Spock. Uhura had been told by McCoy, along with everyone else, and walked over to Spock. They just stood there embracing each other for the longest time, silent tears running down both faces.

Neither said a word, and the whole bridge was quiet for a few minutes. Kirk looked at Sulu. "Take us home."

He nodded. "Engaging full warp in three, two, one." His voice shook slightly, but no one said a thing.

Scotty was closed in on himself, sitting in an empty seat, while Sulu and Chekov both had to continue their jobs even as tears pooled in their eyes. All of them had so desperately loved Fallon. She was family, and you can't not be upset when part of your family leaves you forever. And at such a young age, they all thought. She was merely a child.

Spock was unable to take this just standing around and left, but Kirk stayed. He forced himself not to think of her, not to care quite yet. He needed to be on the ground before he could do that. He couldn't let his emotions cloud his ability to lead.

Uhura sat back down at her post and wiped a few tears from her eyes. The last time Fallon spoke to her, she told Uhura that she was like a mother to her. That was what broke her. She couldn't think of it like that, not like a mother losing her child. That would be insensitive to Kirk.

Scotty wasn't crying, he was in shock. Fallon...dead? He knew she was on the Klingon ship, but she wasn't dead. Now she was here and she was. He couldn't believe it.

Both Chekov and Sulu had loved her as well, but more as close uncles than as a father would (because she spent so much time with him, Scotty loved Fallon like a daughter). They had not been expecting her death. No one had ever died aboard the Enterprise since Kirk became captain. No one. So why did she have to be the first?

Spock was back in her room, screaming as he kneeled beside her bed. He wanted so badly to kill Nith, but they were lightyears away. That was all he could do, since he loved Fallon so dearly. And he hadn't even said a proper goodbye.