How To Move On

Every story is different. This is how I dealt with mine.

There are 5 stages of moving on...

Denial.

This is the time when what happened still felt like a dream. The words he said, the way he did it, or the pain in his eyes when he broke things off... Still wont sink inside your thick skull. For a moment, you felt numb. Placed the pain inside a box to set aside for later...

Anger.

Your mind fumes with rage when you realize all the things he made you feel and do. All the words he said that make you hate yourself, all the promising lies, and all the problems you wish you could've solved better. But then you realize, despite all that, you still loved him...

Bargaining.

What ifs. That little hope you thought you had started growing into a big ball of agony. There will be times when you want to go back, forgive what he's done, even if he crossed the line this time. When you cry because despite all the bad things he did, it wont measure up to the love you had for him. You call yourself stupid because you know you'd still forgive him if he knocks on your door to apologize. Because you loved all of him— the good and the bad.

Depression.

He regrets what he's done, he wants you back and you want him. But you know at the back of your mind, that you can't be. There will be questions like "What if it works out this time?", it might. But you've changed. You weren't a risk-taker like you once were. This is the time when you lost all hopes, forgot your purpose, and felt the pain you've been setting aside for too long. It comes to that kind of sadness that you want to cry but you've already cried so many tears. That sadness where you look at your bedroom ceiling at 3 am trying to find all the answers to your undying questions. This is the time when you feel dead and gone.

Acceptance.

One day, you wake up and he is not the first thing on your mind. You actually start thinking that life is a blessing. Your smile reaches your eyes this time. You heard his name on the morning news but it didnt affect you anymore. You drove beside a car that looks just like his, but you smile this time. You smiled at the memories, you realize that you were once happy with him. That it weren't all that bad, you smiled because you know you'll keep those memories in your heart and treasure them. You smiled because you were thankful for everything. You smiled because you've accepted it. You smiled because he was your first love.

•-•

I've finally thought of an okay prologue to post. Thanks for adding my book to your reading list. I'll start updating as much as possible. I might change the plot but MIGHT only. Thank you.

With much love and hurt,
naenceh  xx