I leaned against the wall of the bathroom, tears starting to fill my eyes.
"No, no this can't be real."
I sunk down to the floor, curling myself into a ball.
"Yoongi..."
I ignored Jungkook, he wasn't real. This wasn't happening.
"Yoongi look at me. Stop panicking..."
I started to tremble. My thoughts started to escape me.
He was lying. I'm disgusting, I'm eating other people, other human beings. I'm worse than dirt, I'm vermin. I don't deserve to live after what I've done, a human life is worth millions and I've stolen that from this world. She was so gappy, she was nice. Why did this have to happen. What will happen when mom finds out. Oh god if you exist please don't let that happen. She's already struggling so much, because of me. I'm so useless. All I do is eat. I'm disgusting. How could some one so kind and selfless, like Jungkook, even let me touch them. I'm disgusting. I'm not some vampire from some stupid chick flick I am a sick person. I don't deserve to live if my life is the cost of so many others. Jungkook doesn't deserve garbage like me....
He's talking to me though. I hear muffled talking. I look up from my knees, jeans damp from tears. I can't stop skaing, but I can see Jungkook's face, blurry, but there.
"It's okay..." he's touching me. I don't deserve to be held by him.
"Please let go of me." I say hurriedly.
He should leave me here to rot. To suffer and die all alone. Then maybe my mom could restart, be happy for once in her life.
"... attack, just breathe..."
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up shut up
Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up
I felt my tears stop. It was quiet now.
I felt Jungkook's arms wrapped around me, hugging me. Not letting go.
"Koo-"
Jungkook hushed me and held on tighter. I breathed heavily.
"It's okay Yoongi."
~~~
*casually tries to write an anxiety attack at 1 am*
