WE MIGHT FALL (J.SNOW 2)

CHAPTER TWELVE

THEY HAD BEEN MARRIED A YEAR. Horn Hill wasn't as nice as Stillwater, and it certainly wasn't as beautiful as Winterfell, but Cynthia had grown used to it within a short period of time. She had visited King's Landing on multiple occasions as well, what with the Tarlys being allied with House Tyrell, and Margaery now being married to the King. King's Landing wasn't as beautiful as Winterfell either. 

Except, Cynthia doubted Winterfell would be very beautiful anymore. She had heard from Lord Tarly that the Bolton's had ceased it during the war, just before Robb was killed, and they were still living there to this day. Ramsay Snow, now legitimised, had even married Sansa Stark which, though Cynthia had never particularly liked the eldest of Catelyn's daughters, stung to hear. Ramsay was a monster, from what she had heard, and Sansa would not be safe in his hands, nor any safer with the rest of his family. It probably was no solace, either, that she was in the walls of her once home, in fact Cynthia would bet that that only made it worse, to be somewhere so familiar that, at the same time, was not familiar at all. 

At least she was alive, Cynthia thought. At least she was, in some way, home. Every other Stark was believed dead. Every other Stark except Jon. 

She had written to Sam a lot over the last year to ensure Jon was all right up at the Wall. Sam had said, in multiple ways and in multiple letters, that she should write to him direct, but she could not bring herself to. She was a married woman now, and the whole point of wedding Dickon was to leave Jon in her past. He was a part of Cynthia Iris' childhood, her first love, Jon Snow had nothing to do with Cynthia Tarly. And she hoped it would stay that way. 

She had also written to Livia nonstop throughout her time away from home; through which she had learned that Livia had begun courting Daryn Hornwood who, from what Livia had written in her many letters, was a handsome young man with a kind heart. He reminded Cynthia of Robb, from how Livia described him, dark curly hair and bright blue eyes. But if Livia was happy, Cynthia could not blame her. In some ways Dickon was very similar to Jon, and in many ways he was not.

In fact, Livia was coming to visit within the week; both sisters, having grown so close at Winterfell, hated being away from each other for so long. She had come to visit twice already, and could not stand to be away any longer. Cynthia had even joked about her moving to Horn Hill permanently, equally hating that she no longer saw Livia every day. The letters were helping, she supposed, but not enough to make the yearning to go home stop. 

Marriage to Dickon wasn't half as bad as she had dreaded, she would admit that. He was funny, and charming; they both equally understood that their marriage was, to some lengths, arranged - no one told him that it was Cynthia's idea or that she had already agreed to it - so they took their time, as though they were courting rather than as if they were already married. His family was less tolerable, his father especially was a bit of a tyrant, but Cynthia had grown used to them too by now. All his mother cared about was if they would be expecting a baby any time soon, to which the answer had been 'no' all year. 

When Livia arrived, she came baring the news that she and Daryn were to be married, and that she wanted Cynthia to come home with her to attend to the wedding. Dickon, at first, was reluctant, but he and his father had business in High Garden anyway, so it did not seem to be a problem for her to go home for no longer than a week for such an occasion. 

It was nice to have her sister around for a time; Cynthia had missed talking to her about nothing, and talking to her about things that actually did matter, just talking in general. If her and Dickon talked, it was with a purpose - a purpose to seem more appealing to one another, though it would do little good now. They were still trying to achieve something in boosting their own appearances. Cynthia had stopped trying to seem more interesting almost 6 months ago. She did not have much more to talk about beyond her books and her family - there was only Winterfell. There was only ever Winterfell. Livia didn't want to talk about that anymore, not since Daryn. She was trying, really trying, trying to forget Robb and move on. Cynthia could respect that, if only because that was what she had done, in reality. But it was still painful, because their memories were the only tethers she still had to Jon, and without someone to share them with, he was gone for good. Winterfell was gone.