WINTERFELL WAS JUST AS CYNTHIA HAD REMEMBERED. It was shrouded in white silk, glistening beneath the slate clouds and faint streaks of light which poured down through gaps in the smokey canopy looming overhead. Winter had well and truly arrived, but that did not detract from the beauty at which Cynthia was gazing from the small window of her carriage.
She had remembered rolling her eyes upon her first visit here, when her sister had been the one marvelling at such a sight through the window, not Cynthia, with longing eyes and a dazzled expression lingering on her face. Cynthia could remember thinking how childish did someone have to be to be so excited that they all but climb out of the small, wooden-framed window. It would have appeared now that the roles had reversed. Because as soon as she felt the slightest tingling chill seep through the door, and as soon as she spotted the faint outline of trees rearing up in the distance, Cynthia had sprung from her uncomfortable seat and attached herself to the glass for the remainder of her journey, while her sister remained quietly settled in her furs.
The ironic thing about returning to Winterfell now was that it was as though nothing had changed. Cynthia's husband was dead - leaving her widowed and returning desperately to the North where a new King was reigning. Livia's husband had also been killed fighting for such a King. So the two Iris girls were arriving at Winterfell the same way they had done all of those years ago, the only difference being that Livia's future husband was not awaiting their arrival as he had been last time. There would be no Robb Stark at Winterfell when they got there. However, there would be a King in the North; the only man worthy enough to be Robb's successor. The only man Cynthia had ever truly loved.
"Sit down Cyn, we're almost there." Livia hushed from her corner, a faint smile on her pale face. She had been quite sad at hearing of her husband's death, as was to be expected from any happy wife, but Cynthia thought, especially upon looking at her fair-haired sister, that Livia Iris was in fact all cried out. Though she had been upset, she had not shed a single tear for Daryn's death, nor was she nearly as paralysed with grief as she had been when Robb had died. She seemed to know how to handle mourning far better now than before. Cynthia, on the other hand, hardly blinked at Dickon's passing. She had liked the man, but in the way you would like a good acquaintance, and by no means did she lament him now. His death meant she could return to the North, as she had been desperate to do since news of Jon's new title breached the South. It was not long after that that Dickon and his father had left, and less time after that when she heard of their deaths. She and her sister were both shockingly numb to their departed spouses, and Cynthia could not be sure if that were a good thing or not. What was good was that they now stared at Winterfell from closer than the had done for almost 4 years.
"I'm sorry I'm just -"
"Excited?" Livia's mood seemed to be ranging from a sudden spark of happiness at being back to such a place, and then sinking to a dull realisation that the last time she was here, Robb was here too. Cynthia did not know how she would have coped with coming back had Jon actually died, and she had all the awe in the world at her sister for suffering through this.
"More anxious." Cynthia admitted, forcing herself to settle back into her own seat.
"They invited us." Livia reassured her with the same warm eyes she always bore when talking to her sister. "If Jon had not wished to see you, he would not have written to you now, would he?"
"I suppose you're right." Cynthia forced a smile, and looked back out of the window. She could not help but stare with a blend of anxiety and pure delight as her favourite place in the entire world appeared in her line of sight. It had been so long, yet she felt as if they were back 4 years; she almost had the distant thought that Robb would be there, and so would all of the other Starks. She hardly considered the fact that they wouldn't be, it was only Livia's daunted and solemn glimpses of expressions that reminded her things were not the same as they once were.
"Of course I am." Livia smiled, but it was somewhat fragmented. Like she was smiling because she knew it was what she should do, more than because she wanted to.
Cynthia wanted to say something; something wise and reassuring like how Robb was probably sat with them in the carriage at that very moment, she wanted to be able to comfort her sister and say it was likely he had never left Winterfell at all. But such words would probably only make Livia feel worse about the matter, and so it was better to source a distraction than for Cynthia to do anything else.
"What do you think happens now?"
It had been a question on her mind for a while. Alec had explained all that Jon had told him about the White Walkers beyond the Wall and the impending doom they all faced, which was continuously disconcerting and terrifying to say the least. But that hadn't been what Cynthia had meant. She had meant about her and Jon; because what did happen now? Her only excuse to keep the pair of them apart had been the barrier that was her and Dickon's vows to one another, but without a spouse what reason did her and Jon have to not be together? That was if Jon still wanted to be with Cynthia. What was to say Jon hadn't moved on? What was to say all of her pushing hadn't pushed him so far away that he had forgotten his affections for her, or, even worst, pushed him into the arms of another? There were so many even more unsettling possibilities for all that could go wrong now that there were no excuses for the pair to be apart, so much so Cynthia hardly thought about the reality that it could be as simple as them just being with one another after so many obstacles had kept them apart for years.
"You see him." Livia said it as if it were that simple.
As if it had ever been that simple for Cynthia and Jon. Life wasn't simple in Westeros, Cynthia knew that much, and even more so her relationship with Jon was not that simple. But maybe it could be now. Maybe this was. Maybe she would get to Winterfell, get out of the carriage and just see him. He'd be stood there like he had been all of those years ago, all brooding and mysterious, and they'd lock eyes and that would be that. Maybe it could be simple now. Cynthia wished she could believe it was possible, because deep down there was a pessimistic part of her reminding her it wouldn't be that easy, but she still wished it could be.
"We're here." Livia said a moment later.
Cynthia hadn't been aware of the time passing while she was thinking over every word and little detail of what was going to come next. She only realised the carriage had stopped moving when Livia had alerted her of their destination, and even then it took a moment to register. Cynthia had to look out of her window for proof. Not that she had been expecting Livia to be wrong. She had been right. Through the window, the courtyard of Winterfell was visible for the first time in what felt like forever.
YOU ARE READING
WE MIGHT FALL (J.SNOW 2)
Fanfic(THINKING OF SNOW 2) "Now that we are older, I remember you. Reaching out to show me all the things that I must do. Now that we are older, I remember youth. Now that were are close to death and close to finding truth, we might fall." Continuing with...
