WE MIGHT FALL (J.SNOW 2)

CHAPTER NINE

A/N: Hope everyone had an amazing Christmas! 

THE WALL WAS WHITE AND COLD, colder than Stillwater, which was to be expected given how far North it was. Nevertheless, both Iris girls shivered in the winter chill that consumed the landscape, and pulled their furs a little tighter to their bodies - both on account of the temperature and the predacious gazes of the Crows. Even from the other side of the gate, their burning eyes scorched the ground on which the girls stood, to the point they could almost feel the ice melting. It would have been scary, had Cynthia's insides not already have been curdling with nerves. 

"We are here to see Samwell Tarly. We bring news from his father." Cynthia lied to the man at the gate, who had not yet inquired as to why the girls had arrived, but no doubt would begin interrogating them soon enough. Not seeming to be of much intelligence, the bald and grizzled watchman nodded with a grunt, and signalled for the gate to be opened, satisfied with their excuse. 

"Smart." Livia whispered under a hushed breath as the two stepped toward the aching and groaning gate which was still being raised above them as they walked underneath it. "But what if Samwell asks-"

"We tell him we are here to see Jon; from what Dickon has said he is a trustworthy lad with few friends." Cynthia replied in an equally quiet tone, not wishing for the surrounding men to overhear what the two were discussing. 

"Do you think Jon is here?" Livia asked a second later, as the two Iris girls timidly walked into the courtyard. It had only then occurred to Cynthia that he might be. She had come to terms with the fact that there was a chance that he may not be at the Wall, as Alyssa had said some days back, and though the whole point of her escapade north was to find Jon, she understood that it was of a low possibility that he would actually be there. However, now that she had arrived, now that she was marvelling at the dark, creaking structure which Jon had called home for nearing 2 years, she came to the realisation that, after all of her overthinking, Alyssa may have been wrong, or Jon may have returned, and any second now she may come face to face with the very reality she had been intent on avoiding for as long as possible.

"I do not know." She whispered, her voice and breath seeming to hitch in the cold air. She didn't know which she would prefer - coming all of this way only to find his empty bed and all of his brothers of the Watch talking of his disappearance, or coming all of this way to find him here after all this time. Because if he was here, then she would have to face him, and face all of the harsh possibilities of his reaction that would come with the reunion. He could be happy to see her, happy to be reunited with an old spark. Or he could be angry at her for showing unannounced, angry to see her again when he so punctually left her all of that time ago. 

Now that she had arrived, all that she was doing was thinking of the Snow, which kept causing storms in her mind, confusing and conflicting her thoughts this way and then the other. She couldn't be certain of what Jon's reaction would be, but she knew that there was no way in which she could turn back now without regretting it for the rest of time. 

"Do you think that's him? Samwell?" Livia's spindly finger, with a delicate nail, was pointing towards an overweight young man with patchy, dark facial hair, clad in all black like every other man at the Wall. His face was chubby with a small mouth, just as Dickon had described his brother from the last time those two had seen one another. 

"Yes, I believe it is." Cynthia inhaled sharply, holding her breath for a moment. Samwell would know if Jon was here, he would be the one to decide Cynthia's fate from this point on.