WE MIGHT FALL (J.SNOW 2)

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

IT WAS EARLY, SUNRISE STILL NOT QUITE BREAKING THE HORIZON. Cynthia was already awake, tightening the laces of her boots in quiet content. She and Jon had planned to go riding, and she was sure that if she were late she would not hear the end of it. He'd be stood in the stables, bundled up in furs that resembled those of his fathers, with Ghost eagerly wagging his tail at his side. He'd be waiting for her. A prospect that made Cynthia feel warm inside, even in spite of the many layers of clothing she wore and the roaring fire that crackled to her left; it was Jon that eased the cold, that filled her with a warmth like wildfire. It was always Jon.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she noticed how different Winterfell felt. While it had always been a Keep full of shadows and dim light, it now felt dark. As though whatever light was let in hardly combated the shadows that lurked in every alcove, in every corner. The people had also changed. When, as a kid, Cynthia had found herself venturing through the multitude of corridors, the people she passed were bustling, smiling and kind to those they passed. It felt like a home, which even the staff were a part of. Now, the only people she saw was the occasional maid, who's head would retract as far into her neck as physically possible when she spotted Cynthia walking her way; and a soldier, who may as well have been a gargoyle with the way he remained still and with a face that would deter all those who came near. The people were now as dark as the building itself. 

She tried not to let this dim her mood, and Cynthia continued towards the stables without thinking much of the past. It was not where she lived now, it is gone just like the people who only exist there now. Cynthia thought of the future instead. Thought about how, in a few minutes, she would be stood in front of Jon again, after so long and so many obstacles; the two would be together at last, going for a ride as though nothing had changed between the two of them over the years passed. 

Part of her didn't want to let in any other possibility beyond that Jon would be there, but the rest of her head reminded her that in the last few years, there had been many occasions in which Jon was meant to be there with her, and had left just as easily as she had convinced herself he would be. There was always the chance with Jon that he, being the man he was, would let her down again, and would have vanished from her life as well. As much as she did not wish to think like this, she knew bracing herself for the let down would spare her when the reality struck. 

She reached the end of the corridors and stood at the threshold for a moment, letting her eyes wonder to the Hall. There was a time when, every morning as she walked past, she would see the twins sat laughing with Arya, Bran and Rickon; she would see Sansa gushing over clothes with Livia, while Alec, Theon and Robb bonded over hunting. The star-crossed pair would be making eyes across the table, their legs brushing together under the table, their smiles growing more whenever they glanced once another's way. Jon would not be there, and while Cynthia always paused, yearning to spend that much time with her siblings and a family that would have soon been hers as well, wherever Jon was, was always where Cynthia wanted to go. Even now, that hadn't changed. Except there was no one in the Hall when she looked, a rock in the bottom of her stomach sinking with the realisation that a lot of those people were not here anymore, or were not the same children sat at the table with smiles and laughs and love. That group of kids did not exist any more. 

"Cyn." 

Cynthia had spent a long time growing accustomed to the knowledge that Jon was not going to be the same man he was back then, in fact she had spent a long time getting used to the idea that he was not alive anymore, and she had grown to accept the pain that came with that. But now, stood in the entrance of a home she had always dreamed of having, looking at the space in which their families had become one, even if just for a second, with his voice ringing in her ears, Cynthia let herself go back to the past, go back to the happier times with him, knowing now that he was still here. 

Jon was stood in the doorway, wearing the cloaks Cynthia had expected, and while his hair had grown more than it had back then, he still looked like the boy she had fallen in love with.

"You ready?" He asked, his lips daring to form into a faint smile. 

Cynthia did not compose herself when her expression changed, she let the relief and the grin spread across her face as she looked at him, nodding eagerly. He held out his hand for her, and though he was wearing a glove, she could not wait to take it.