"good morning brook." Edwards said as i got down the stairs. I faked the smile i did for five years. "good morning Edward." no one was there except Edward. I guess Alexander is still laying on the grass.
"can you call Alexander for breakfast? He is doing that laying on a grass thing again." I nod and got out. The sun hit me. I loved morning like this. The sun is so light in my skin. I just want to stand there and let in shine on me. It made me feel so warm not hot like the mid day.
"good morning." Alexander said, smiling. Even though he was closing his eyes. I looked at him he is till laying, closing his eyes. I sat next to him. The dog came and sat next to me.
"good morning" I said. I swear if i have to say it again i am going to scream. "Edward wants you in for breakfast."
"ah.. breakfast. My favorite meal." I wanted to say i don't care but it seemed to mess up the mood. I looked at him. He is still closing his eyes, he looked so calm. I think he sensed me looking because he said, "you know instead of looking, you can lay down too. The morning sun is beautiful." I totally agreed. I nod, then realized he can't see me.
"I like it too." and i lay with him. The sun was on my eyes so i closed it quickly. As i lay there i thought about, well the sun. I know its really stupid but, for that moment i just wanted to think about that. I thought about the world and how sun is what makes earth, earth.
"Now its both of you." I heard Edward say. I stayed silent. I don't want to miss this moment.
"you know Ed, you should try this too. Its like you can't think about anything else but the sun," Alexander said. I got up and opened my eyes. What did he just say? He opened his too. " I am good. I think about the sun enough." Edward said while i stare at Alexanders hair. It was so brown.
"you where thinking about the sun?" i said, still surprised. Alexander nodded. his eyes where so green when he is out in the sun. "ya, whern't you?" I shook my head no, I didn't want him to think about it. All those romance book stuff is like this when we have something in common, so i lied.
When we finished breakfast, Edward told me i will start school tomorrow with Alexander for my first day and left to work. (that's his stupid book shop) After i finished my anger after realizing that its bad enough that his whole house was filled with endless of books. On the floor, on the desk and well like five shelf's. No wonder that house looks so small even the bath room is filled with books. That's when i realized i was alone with Alexander. He closed the door after Edward left and he asked if i wanted to watch a Netflix or go to the movies. Its both the same kind of thing, endless crap of nothing.
"no, its OK. I don't want to watch anything." I said and sat in the couch. He signed, "let me guess, you don't like movies?" He said and sat right next to me. I can smell him as he sat. He smelled like dove. I smiled, I use the same soup. I realized how wired that is so to ignore the thoughts i start talking.
"whats school are we going?" I asked. I was kind of nervous for the first day, and i realized that i would have reading home work assignments and i could not get out of it like i did back in the city.
"oh Howard, " He said. I nodded.
" So, do you have a boyfriend?" He asked. I was so surprised how quick he went strait to the point and kind of happy that he thinks i am pretty enough to have a boyfriend. I shook my head no, he smiled.
"Really? You are pretty-" was he calling me pretty? "Hot!" He finished. Wait- what? I was blushing so hard. "mm.. wow. I didn't expect that. Thanks." I said. He got closer, was he going to kiss me? I didn't expect my first kiss to be at all like this, i imagined us to know at least little bit of each other or on a date. Not in a house fill of books, but it was Alexander. So i leaned in. Slowly our lips touched his lips taste well like nothing. It was dull. i liked it. I was pulling away when he leaned in closer and he put his tong in there. I wanted to kind of stop, it was my first kiss and i didn't want to go all the way to tong. I pulled away he looked at me, his green eyes where lighter than ever.
" why did you stop?" He asked.
" I think that's enough for today." I said, i couldn't believe i was saying this. A hot guy was kissing me and i was saying wait? He smiled god i love his smile.
"You scared?" He asked.
"no, its not--. I mean no, its just its my first time. and-"
"wait, you are a virgin?" He asked, his eyes lit up even more.
I regret telling him but i can't go back so i just nodded. He leaned even more and touched my leg he was going up, i stopped him.
"what are you doing?" I asked. I was not ready yet, i am still shocked over our kiss.
"Don't you want to lose it?" He asked. I was confused at first then i realized what he was talking about. I shook my head no.
"no, not yet." I wanted to do it with some one i loved, and i just met Alexander.
"oh come on, all those girls in school at seven-teen lost it. You will look like a loser." He said still touching me. I smiled at that, "I am already loser so don't worry."
"ya but, that could change." He whispered in my ear and kissed me again. While we kissed I thought about what he just said, could i change what happen before? I realized that now i am in a new place i can be whoever i want to be. But then i remembered Grandma, dad and mom. I still had the letter in my pocket and grandma was in the hospital. I could not do it, i know it has nothing to do with them but i know that if mom and dad where alive i would have not done this. The fact that my dad was a christian who believed that sex was with the one you love. I pulled away again, "am sorry but i will stick with being a loser." I said and i was going to get up but he pulled me back.
"Its just once and i have condom." He take out something from his jeans. I had never seen a condom up this close. I saw it once when our gym teacher brought it, he was teaching us about sex. He had a banana and everything, it was disturbing.
"oh oh my god, eh.. i don't think we should."
"Come on." He said and start kissing me again, what the heck with the kissing? He slowly touched my pants and then zipped it down. He found my underwear he lift it up and touched me. He opend his pants then he went back to my pants and put mine down.
"STOP! Alexander please i can't do it. please" I plead. I wanted to cry i don't want to do this, not right now.
"shh.. relax." He said.
"no i can't! I dON'T WANT TO DO THIS PLEASE." I screamed louder he touched my mouth with his other hand and looked at me,
"it will be over soon." Then before i knew it, everything went blank.
