A/N : Mail me your thoughts, experiences at "oneindianwriter@gmail.com" to voice your words.
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Hey lovely readers, its me again, OneIndianWriter.
One of the readers shared this experience of hers with me but she wanted to voice her words anonymously. So respecting her words I am sharing her experience without mentioning her name.
This is based on the chapter, "Boys Don't Cry"
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I have an elder brother (just a year elder than me). Since our childhood I have always seen my father telling my brother that "Boy's don't cry". Or "Are you a girl? Then why are you crying like girls? Boys don't cry!". On the same grounds, if I used to cry, he used to hug me, and console me. At first I felt this behavior of my father odd. Which father tells one of his kids not to cry at all and consoles the other if that kid cries. But I was a kid then. I believed that whatever our parents tell us is undoubtedly correct. So I grew up with the idea that, "If a boy cries, then he is weak."
Even in my schooldays if I used to see a boy crying, I automatically considered him to be weak. And this was because it was fed in my brain right from the start that boys don't cry.
Later, something happened and that made my boyfriend cry. I was so shocked to see him crying. As expected, the first thought came into my mind was that, "Oh my god! He's my boyfriend and he can't cry because boys don't cry." I stared at my boyfriend while he was crying as if I have seen an alien. I didn't even tried to console him. Later he came to me and asked,
"Why didn't you talk to me when I was crying? I needed your mental support but all you did was stare at me?"
I answered him,
"Boy's don't cry. And the ones who cry are weak."
He laughed and said,
"Who the hell told you this shit? You cry so are you weak? Are girls weak? Crying is just a way to express our emotions. How can it make you weak or strong? Even boys get hurt, even we feel the same pain which you girls do and that really doesn't justify that girls should cry and boys shouldn't."
I was shocked by his words. It was then when I realised that how much wrong things are fed to our brain since our childhood. And these things don't even have proper justification.
Later I spoke to my brother about this and even his reply shocked me. He said,
"I know. Not only our father but many people from the society think that boys shouldn't cry. They make fun of the guys who cry. And that's why I never cried in front of others, but I used to cry when I was alone because of the fear of what people will think. Even I tried to speak to our father about this and tried to explain him that crying most of the times releases the pain.And if this pain is not released, it causes major problems such as depression. But he never tried to understand the positive side of crying..."
When I read the chapter related to this, I felt like sharing this with the people through this book.
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De Todo【U N E D I T E D】 "INDIA", the country rich in culture, best example of unity in diversity, one of the developing countries.... While all these things are rightly said, do we miss something?? Do we miss some of the bitter facts of India? Yes we do! ...
