Quotes ∞

I Lost Her (2)

Her: It's been exactly 4 months since he left me. This boy was someone I saw myself being with for a very long time. The way he brushed his hand through his long black hair. The way he gazed at me with such admiration. The way he kissed my forehead and called me beautiful. How he surprised me with a kiss on our first date. The way his laugh made my life a lot more beautiful. Him. But he started acting strange. He told me that he wanted to focus on himself and his band. How could he lie to me in my face? I was so hurt and confused. He didn't care and if he did, it wasn't enough. I wanted to cry but I stayed strong. He wouldn't look me in the eyes because he knew I knew his ex had contacted him and he still loved her. Why would he want someone who continuously hurts him and treats him like nothing? I'm sorry I'm not her. I walked away and started crying my eyes out. He broke me and all I wanted to do was to make sure he was the happiest guy alive. I saw him at school and I gave him a half smile. I couldn't show him that I was hurt by a this thing. I was dying inside. How can he live with himself knowing he hurt me? Months have passed, I heard him and his ex had parted ways and she destroyed him. He cane up to me one day and I was so happy and we laughed like before. It felt wonderful. We talked for weeks and he finally told me: "I still have feelings for you and I'm sorry for leaving." At first, those were the words I have dreaded to hear for so long... But now it sounded awful, like a guitar out of tune. I looked at him and started tearing up. "You hurt me so much abd every time I saw you, I died inside... You... Were my everything.. I was willing to do everything even when you were mean to me... But I'm sorry... I can't. I can only be your friend." He walked away accepting the fact that this is all we will ever be. I couldn't be with someone who will leave me again for someone else. The months it took me to get back to being myself were hard. Listening to my chemical romance as I cried myself until morning, the fake smiles and watching him hold her the way he used to hold me. I want him. I do. But I don't want to be anyone's second choice.