thick girl

seven

Diego

To say I was mad would be an understatement.

I didn't like that she was acting like I ruined her life.

Because before she knew who I was.

She seemed like she had everything under control.

I don't understand why she is saying I raped her.

That night wasn't rape.

Far from.

She started undressing me, she is the one that wanted to have sex.

Yes, I shouldn't have said what I said, and I do regret saying it, but I didn't rape her.

She was my high-school crush.

She's the reason I stayed in school as long as I did.

I don't know why she was saying it was rape.

I wouldn't ever rape her -- or anyone.

I got back to my place and started picking the money off the floor.

I felt like a complete douche thinking about how I reacted to her.

I put the money on my desk taking off my jacket and walking out to the living room when I seen the bag laying on the couch.

I sighed picking up the bag and sitting down.

I opened the bag and it smelled of perfume.

I moved around some things like sunglasses, water bottles, Starbucks napkins and straws when I got to pill bottles.

Pill bottles of Xanax, Percocets, narcotics.

I wouldn't place her as the drug type.

Then I found my beanie burried at the bottom of the bag.

She actually kept it.

The bag started vibrating and I shoved it back in and found her phone.

She was getting a call.

"Hello?" I say answering it.

"Hello, is this Ms Venezuela?"

"No..this is a friend, she forgot her phone here."

"Oh, well I'm calling on behalf of the foster family of Diego."

I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, I'm a little behind. Diego is..."

"Her son."

"Oh yeah. Of course."

"Well, Diego was placed in the children's hospital a few hours ago -"

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Just a slight flu. With the weather change and him being a very active happy boy it's only normal." She chuckles. "We are just supposed to inform her of all things and to remind her that she does have a custody meeting scheduled for later today."

"She's not gonna be able to make that."

"Why not?"

"She's in the hospital. There was an accident. They're keeping her over night."

"I hope everything is good. Thank you."

"Yeah, you too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up and the screen locked again.

I put the phone back in the bag and sighed setting it at my feet.

I layed down on the couch as my head started hurting again.

A weird feeling floated in the pit of my stomach.

I couldn't place it but it didn't feel good at all.

I closed my eyes feeling the tiredness of days of being awake falling over me all at once.

I just couldn't stop thinking about how I have a child I've never even met.

A child I fathered that I didn't even know I had.

It was all just so much.

And it was all hitting so fast I felt like I could suffocate

I woke up coughing ready to throw up.

(I wake up I throw up I feel like I'm dead!)

I rushed to the bathroom as it all just flushed over me.

A mix of confusion, anger, depression.

My body couldn't handle it and it was all coming out.

Literally.

I sat against the cabinets as I felt like a million degrees was being projected on me.

This whole thing just didn't feel right.

None of it felt right.

-

Reading my stories you'd think Imma very very depressing person.

But I'm actually not.

What's your favourite Lil Xan song, or song Lil Xan has been featured on?

Right now I'm like obsessed with Overdose by Steven Cannon and Lil Xan I'm listening to it on repeat right now.

That or Wake Up by Lil Xan.

Comment yours.

-skiesbeyond