It was almost eleven at night when Lorelai finished on the truck. She said that she still had some things to work on, but that it was safe enough to drive and reliable enough to keep up to speed, at least on back roads.
It was an awkward parting, since we didn't really talk since she asked about me and Kel, but I'm not going to dwell on it. All three of us are simply using each other, like I've been pointing out relentlessly. That doesn't meant that we have to like each other.
When she was finally gone, Kel followed me inside and to my room. My parents were both already asleep, my mom in the living room and my dad in the bedroom like usual. Hey, at least she isn't living in the basement anymore.
Kel plopped on my bed immediately, taking my laptop out of my nightstand and plugging it in so we could watch something. While he did that, I went over to my drawers and got out some pajamas to change into while he found something to watch.
"I'm going to go and change, you should too if you brought any clothes with you," I told him, looking through my drawers for some underwear that's comfortable but free of period stains. I just finished it, so my period panties are on top of my others, and my drawers aren't exactly organized enough for me to be able to find a good pair.
Finally pulling out a pair of boyshorts, I walk out of my room and across the hall to the bathroom. Man, I should have made him change in here, that would have made more sense. Sighing in satisfaction when my bra is fully off, I pull on my loose shirt and lounge pants. The pants are too small for my butt because they shrunk after I bought them, but they are so comfortable that I could care less if Kel notices. I brush my teeth and do my business, like the classy lady I am, before reentering my room. Kel is lying under the covers with a t-shirt and what I believe are only his boxers on, and looking for something on Netflix. I clean my face quickly with a face pad, because god knows that if I miss one night I'll have ten pimples the next day, and put my glasses back on.
I walk around my bed to my usual side and get under the covers as well, turning on my side and scooting closer to Kel so that my whole body fits on my tiny twin size bed with his. Kel has slept over a few times, all of them with us sharing the bed, so it wasn't as awkward as you are probably imagining. He's an average sized guy and I'm a slightly overweight girl, so we had to snuggle pretty close, but it's fine. I've been craving some human contact anyway, even if that contact comes from Kel of all people.
"What do you want to watch?"
"Um, I don't care. Put on a sitcom or something to binge until we fall asleep." I can't fall asleep watching a movie, it's too much commitment. But twenty-two minute episodes with crappy jokes? That's more my style.
Without any more input, Kel puts on FRIENDS and lays back, putting his arm around me so that we could both comfortably look at the screen. It was a nice sleep that night, mostly because I knew that I wasn't alone with my plaguing thoughts.
[!][!][!][!][!]
It was 4 am, and I could already here fighting coming from the living room. I was awake, and I knew that Kel was awake, but neither of us said anything. I guess they went to bed angry last night, because as my Dad was leaving for work things started abruptly. It sounded like it was about something pointless, I guess Bosco had peed in the kitchen and no one would take the blame, so I knew that it would eventually fall on me.
A door slammed downstairs and I heard my Dad's truck pulling out of the driveway in a hurry. Another noise was heard a few minutes after, so I guess my mom left too. Sighing, I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration.
"...are you okay?"
I don't answer straight away, mostly because the need to sob took over, but eventually I forced out words that sounded something along the lines of "I'm fine."
"When you want to talk, just let it out. You know that I'm here." He squeezed me tighter against him and I was thankful that he was here. I know that it must seem ridiculous to seem this upset about this, but overtime it weighs on you more and more. It's been a bit of time since I last cried, it's something that I try to hold in, and the fact that it's four in the morning and I'm cuddled up with Kel just made it worse.
"They think that because they've been married for twenty-seven years that they need to make it work...but it's so painful, Kel. My mom holds it over my head that once I leave so will my Dad and it makes me...it makes me subconsciously not want to leave. It hurts to even...to even leave to go shopping or go for a walk because I don't know what disaster will be there when I come back...I mean, I'm freaking cyber schooled for christ sake! And then...then they complain about each other to me as if I'm their friend and not their daughter...as if they aren't bashing my parents to my face." It takes time for me to say it out loud, my sobs and breathes breaking up my words, and I don't even know if he could understand me because it came out so quiet. I push my head into his chest slightly, not wanting him to see my ugly crying face, and eventually I'm practically laying on top of him, sobbing my heart out. I know that when I'm done I will be mortified by how I'm acting, but I can't relax enough to stop. If Kel wasn't here, I would probably be in full panic attack mode.
"You need to let it out, Say. I'm not going to tell you to calm down, or tell you that everything will be okay, but I'll be your shoulder to cry on and listen to."
[!][!][!][!][!]
It being a Saturday, me and Kel didn't leave me room until about ten. I had opened my door so that I could make sure Bosco wasn't doing anything wrong, but other than that didn't get out of bed. Kel put FRIENDS on again as a distraction, but it was barely working. He kept drifting in and out of sleep, but I couldn't fall back asleep for the life of me. I probably got three hours total, but I've worked off less.
My phone started buzzing in my hand as I clutched it, and I was thankful that it was Lorelai and not a family member. "Hello?"
"Hey, I got the final supplies that I need from my Uncle and should be able to finish the car in a few hours. Do you want me to come and fix it this morning, then maybe we could drive out of town a bit to see if it's good? Or is now not a good time." She says this in not necessarily a chipper voice, but more of an energetic and awake voice, which throws me off guard.
"Um...yeah," I pinch the bridge of my nose, having a hard time concentrating. "You can come over this morning, and then maybe we could go shopping, or something."
"Great, I'll be over in about a half hour." We say a quick goodbye before she hangs up and I try to gain the strength to get out of bed.
"Who was that?"
"Lorelai...she'll be here in a half hour, so we better get up. Make me some breakfast." I sit up, which makes Bosco jump up from the edge of the bed, too. When he runs out of the room I chase after him, my worry of him pissing in the house outweighing my fatigue.
I open the back door and let him out, closing the screen but keeping the glass door open to let some fresh air in. Kel eventually tracks into the room, going over to the bowls and cereal and making us both a bowl of cheerios.
"You know, when I said make me breakfast, I meant more than just pouring some milk," I joke as I pour myself a cup of stale coffee. It's cold, as it was made early this morning, but I don't mind; as long as I get some caffeine into my system. I make Kel a cup as well before bringing them into the living room where Kel is searching through channels. Setting down the cups on the coffee table, I pick up my bowl and start eating as Kel puts on some crappy movie that is already half way through.
"I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't mean to unload so heavily on you," I awkwardly apologize, not wanting the situation be weird.
"You just can't say anything when I cry next," he jokes, but there was a bit of weight to it.
"You can cry to me anytime you want."
YOU ARE READING
Road Trip Across the U.S. of Gay (gxg)
Teen Fiction[Road Trip Across the U.S of Gay; AKA- if John Green was gay and a girl he would write this] Her parents are nagging her, her depression and anxiety are rising off the charts, and she has no idea what she is going to do with her life. At the age of...
