Book 1 - Slit My Wrist, Hope to Die

Chapter 36 - Forever and Always

            The motel room smelled of last night's party, the rug was stained, the bathroom had no towel, but the beds were shockingly neat. As Conner fell on top of the bed, the smell of daisies mixed with bleach parted from the sheets and flew into their nostrils. Everyone started coughing and sneezing. "Jesus," Conner said. "This place is shit." He sneezed and sneezed and sneezed and gave one last sneeze before finally coughing. His sneezes always sounds like coughs to everyone else.

"So, who's room is this?" Alex asked.

"Well, I have a room for myself." Jordan said. "I am an adult. Some alone time away from kids should do me some good." He gave a cheerful laugh. "There's an extra room for you guys to decide. Two beds. Have fuuuuun!" Jordan walked out of the piece of shit room.

"So, uh," Tate said, his voice echoing in the room. There was a long pause. "Who stays here?"

"I call this room." Conner said. "Who's my roommate?" He glanced at Alex.

"I'll stay here." Alex said. "Doesn't matter to me."

"Bu-" Tate started to say. He felt his heart sink and his insides feel funny. He didn't want them two alone.

"I'll stay in the other room with Tate then." Fran grabbed Tate's arm. "I actually prefer that." She hung on him.

"Oh," Tate blushed a little. "Uh, sure. I guess." Tate opened the door, with Fran still holding on like she's about to trip. "See you guys later." He shut the door.

"Finally," Conner said softly. He lied back down on the white sheets and sighed. "We're alone." He sat back up and looked at Alex. "So, who is this Tate guy? Really?" He got up and went over to the blankets. "He seems like a cool guy but I ever heard him talking to himself, he said he killed Nick and you seem distant around him." He started to unfold the blankets and place them on the both beds.

"He's uh," Alex sat down in the chair near the door. "He was amazing when I first met him. Then we got together, broke up."

"Oh." Conner felt his stomach clench.

"Then the outbreak in NYC brought us together again. Well, we never lost contact, but you know, closer than before."

He couldn't speak and he started moving slower. He felt pain.

"Then everything was perfect. Until, Nick made a move on me. Tate took up one of Nick's jobs and then he got into the dealing shit... He killed Nick out of nonsense, jealousy and for the job." Alex felt tears forming, but held them back and wiped away the ones that escaped. "That is about it. He changed and not for the better." She bit her lip.

"I see now." Conner finished with the one bed and started with the other. "He seems like he's trying to change though. Maybe you 'ought to think about it."

"But."

"But?"

"You're back." Alex looked down. "Though, I still don't know. I said I love you back there. Tate is "trying" to change but, he killed. Maybe it's too late. Like, maybe it's good your back, right?" She shocked herself. She was never good at expressing her feelings aloud. Only through actions and text. What the hell?

"To be honest," Conner finished doing the second bed and sat down on the edge, facing her. "Ever since I moved, all I wanted was to find my way back to you, to fix everything, you know?" He looked down, avoided eye contact. "I never wanted it to end."

"Everything went to shit between us." Alex said. "There must've been times where you just wanted to leave."

"Barely. Rarely. I just never wanted to give up." He sighed. "It's just, that one day. You really did it and I just, I just couldn't."