Handsome and the Hideous

Chapter 9

As I laid in bed, I couldn't help but think about my day out with Cody. Every time I thought about it, my heart would feel warm. An image of Cody smiling at me would appear in my mind and suddenly, my heart would begin to race. The feeling had never occurred before our day out together, but now it wouldn't stop.

Thinking about how I wondered if things could have been different between us, I realized why I was thinking such thoughts. As Rosalie's words sprung into my mind, I blushed when I realized why my heart was racing whenever I thought of Cody. It turned out, she was right.

Putting a hand on my forehead, I wondered how it happened. I had been so sure that I felt nothing for Cody and I had been insistent on not gaining feelings for him, but it happened. All of the sudden, it happened after spending one day with him. The thought was scary and I didn't know what to do because liking Cody was stupid.

Cody was gorgeous. He was a good guy and anything a girl could ever want. That meant, he would never look my way. Having him reciprocate my feelings was impossible, so I wondered why my heart wanted me to end up hurt.

But thinking about the way Cody treated me, as if I wasn't the hideous girl everyone thought I was, I couldn't help but feel hope. People always talked about personality mattering more than looks in the end of the day, so I couldn't help but naively hope that maybe, Cody would fall for me.

Hearing the front door open, I knew Rosalie had come to clean. I sighed lightly, but smiled when I thought about how happy she would be with my new feelings. At first I decided not to tell her, but slowly I came to the realization that I needed advice. I needed to find out if falling for Cody wasn't going to be a waste of time, so I got out of bed and ran downstairs.

Flying into the kitchen, I saw Rosalie standing by the counter, clearing the table. She smiled when she saw me, but then frowned when she saw my wide-eyed, helpless look.

"Hi Charlotte," Rosalie said, looking confused. "Are you okay?"

I walked up to her, making sure to be as close as possible to her. Knowing Cody was upstairs and could hear what I would say, I had to be as quiet as possible when explaining myself.

"I... I think I have feelings for Cody," I confessed to Rosalie.

Rosalie's eyes flew wide and she began to squeal. I hushed her quickly, embarrassed, and hoped Cody wouldn't come downstairs. The last thing I wanted was for him to find out about my feelings when I wasn't sure how he'd react.

"I told you," Rosalie said, smiling widely. "Charlotte, I knew you love him."

"I don't love him," I said, blushing. "But, I don't know... After spending the day with him, I started liking him. He's just so sweet and kind and... Oh Rosalie, it's pointless for me to like him."

Rosalie frowned. "Why is it pointless?"

"He's so handsome and I'm... not. Cody would never like me."

Rosalie's eyes softened and I felt pitiful. I was a woman and I was still afraid of the guy I liked rejecting me.

"Charlotte, like I said we don't always choose who we love. Just because Cody is handsome, that doesn't mean he won't love you."

"But being beautiful would make things so much easier," I said, exasperated. "Sometimes I wish I was beautiful and I hate myself for wishing for something so vain."

The words had burst out of me and immediately, I regretted saying them. But, they had always been at the back of my mind. After years and years of being treated like a waste of space, simply because of the way I looked, I wished I was beautiful. I knew deep down that my life would have been much easier if I was.